Apprehensive about disturbing the world of a woman who she believed was teetering on the edge, much to Krista’s dismay, Laura refused to visit Toni’s classroom unless it was required. It wasn’t until ten days after she had met Kris at Exes when Laura found herself once again invading the troubled teacher’s space to monitor her class.
Pulling the essays out of her briefcase, Toni was glancing at the papers when she heard the click of heavy heels coming up the corridor. Setting her jaw, she slowly raised her eyes, and when Laura MacLeod walked into her classroom, Toni’s stare was cold and hard, and her message was clear. Get out.
Aware that her presence would not be welcome, Laura simply gave Toni a weak smile and then walked to the back of the room to find a seat. The students filed in, some saying their hellos as they took their places and opened their books, and a few minutes later, Toni gathered her wits and began to teach. Sitting silently, Laura listened to the lesson as she jotted down some notes, and when the class was over, she gathered her belongings and left without saying a word, but not before placing an apple on Toni’s desk.
The scene was repeated the following week and the week after that, and the only thing that changed was the lesson being taught. No words were exchanged between the teacher and the department head. No looks of acknowledgement were given when Laura entered the classroom, and no good-byes were offered when she left. And even though she continued to place a shiny apple on Toni’s desk after every visit, not once did Toni voice a thank you. Laura wasn’t surprised.
When Laura wasn’t buried in paperwork, glad-handing possible benefactors or monitoring classes, as part of her weekly routine, she made it a point of visiting with each of her teachers to discuss course schedules, grades and the like. Preferring relaxed, one-on-one meetings over lunch, rather than structured ones held in her office, she’d go to their classrooms, and over bagged lunches, they’d chat about their work. Having just finished such a meeting with Susan Grant, as Laura walked down the hallway, she noticed Toni’s door open and decided it was time to test the waters.
Toni saw her standing in the doorway immediately, but she continued to grade papers without so much as a glance in Laura’s direction. Without a file folder in her hand signaling a course review, Toni was confused as to why the woman was there, and when Laura approached her desk, Toni went rigid.
Silently admonishing herself for her own stupidity, Laura stopped and took two steps backward. “Hiya, Toni. I was just making the rounds and thought I’d stop by to see how things were going. I know you have three new students, and I wanted to make sure there weren’t any problems.”
Toni hated questions that couldn’t be answered with a nod or a shake of the head, and for a minute, she sat motionless, hoping that MacLeod would simply go on her way. When another minute passed and Laura still hadn’t moved, Toni sighed. “Everything’s fine,” she muttered, without looking up. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m busy.” Picking up an essay, she returned to her reading as if the woman standing a few feet away from her didn’t exist.
“Of course. I’m sorry I intruded. I’ll let you get back to work.”
Although amused by Toni’s obvious brush-off, Laura didn’t allow it to show until she walked out of the room. Shutting the door behind her, she broke into a smile that lit up the corridor.
It was the tiniest of steps, but it was a step nonetheless. Only a millimeter in length, across a space wider than a canyon, but the reclusive teacher had spoken, and she had spoken to Laura. From that day on, Toni’s classroom became part of Laura’s weekly rounds…whether Toni liked it or not.
As the days turned into weeks, both women found it impossible not to think about the other.
Alone in her darkened flat, Toni would sit with her cigarette and beer, staring at the bottle of vodka filled with poison, but not contemplating its contents. A student had made a comical remark one day, and from the back of the room came a chuckle, low and sexy. Toni knew in an instant it belonged to Laura MacLeod, and she found herself wanting to look up, to see the smile, the gaiety...but fear blocked her path. It was unimaginable to think she could allow a virtual stranger to become anything more. To trust was impossible, but as each day passed, Toni began listening for the footsteps and inhaling deeply at the scent of a stranger’s perfume.
For Laura, finding a comfortable balance between work and leisure had never been her strong point, so bringing work home was nothing unusual. Although Duane had called once or twice, leaving messages on the machine asking for another chance, Laura hadn’t returned the calls. Nightly, she immersed herself in her work, sipping a glass of wine as she moved through the papers, unconsciously saving the reports on Toni’s classes until last. She’d open a file and get lost in its contents, remembering the lesson as if she was a student and the teacher as if she was a friend. Toni was so animated in her teaching that Laura found herself watching every move she made. How she waved her arms to make a point or clapped her hands when a student grasped a concept, and once, on an afternoon filled with sun and warmth, Laura had heard her laugh. She couldn’t remember ever hearing anything sound so wonderful.
***
It was one of those days when you wanted to be at home, snuggled under the covers with a good book and a cup of tea, but that was a luxury that didn’t apply to the working masses. Rain or shine, they came to work and did their time. As she stood under the overhang, cupping her hands against the wind to light a cigarette, Susan Grant wished that she was a member of the upper class if only to enjoy rainy days wrapped in the comfort of her duvet.
Hearing the door open, Susan moved enough to let Toni out, and as soon as the door closed, both women hugged the wall to prevent themselves from getting drenched. Lighting her cigarette, Toni took a deep drag and then looked at the sky. “Shitty day.”
Stunned to hear the woman speak, it took Susan several seconds before she could find her voice. “Yes…yes, they say it’s supposed to do this all weekend.”
Toni didn’t dislike Susan Grant. Like Switzerland, her feelings were those of neutrality where it concerned the blonde woman with the easy smile. Although she had never joined in the camaraderie that Susan had offered in the early days, a part of Toni appreciated the fact that she had tried to include her. Craving a cigarette for more than an hour, Toni, nevertheless, had waited until she saw Susan walk past her classroom door with jacket in hand before excusing herself from her class to grab a much-needed smoke. Having become accustomed to Laura’s weekly visits, as Toni looked out into the storm, curiosity got the best of her. “Is MacLeod on holiday?”
“What?” Susan asked, glancing at Toni. Surprised that she was actually making eye contact with the woman, Susan said, “No...um...she’s been at a conference for the past few days. She’ll be back on Monday.”
Flicking her cigarette into a puddle, Toni yanked open the door and went back inside.
***
After three days of listening to lectures, Laura was ready for the weekend. Running through the parking lot, she skipped over puddles, only to fumble for her keys for another minute before managing to get into her car. While the defogger cleared the glass, she checked her briefcase and sighed. She would have loved to spend the entire weekend vegetating in front of the television, but catching up on work would be far more productive. Knowing she had a stack of reports on her desk that needed attention, Laura pulled out of the lot and turned in the direction of Calloway House.
Arriving less than an hour later, as Laura pulled into her parking spot a shiver ran down her spine when she noticed two police cars driving away from the building. Ignoring the fact that the skies had opened up, she jumped out of her car and ran into the building.
Seeing Bryan coming down the stairs, Laura asked, “Bryan, why were the police here?”
“A couple of our residents got into a fight on the third floor. It was quite a row.”
“What in the world happened?”
“We’re not quite sure, but the flat’s totaled, and Laura...one of them had a knife.”
“A knife!”
“Yeah. As far as we can tell, she had it hidden in her mattress. She was already going to lose her probation because of the fight, so I guess she decided what the hell.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“Anyway, Jack got it away from her, and then we called the police.”
“Well, thank God no one was hurt.”
“Laura, I’m not so sure about that. Toni was the first one up there. By the time Jack and I arrived, the place was a mess. When we took over, she disappeared, and I’m fairly certain I saw blood on her shirt.”
“Blood? Are you sure it was hers?”
“Well, other than a few scrapes, I didn’t see any injuries on the women. After all the commotion died down, I went to Toni’s classroom to check on her, but it was empty, and I looked in the car park. Her Jeep’s gone.”
“All right. Thanks, Bryan,” Laura said. “I’ll just go up and look around. Make sure you file a report before you leave, and email me a copy. Will you please?”
“Sure thing.”
Trotting up the stairs, Laura rushed to Toni’s classroom. Flicking on the light, her eyes darted around the empty room. Noticing a dark blue jacket hanging on the back of a chair, she walked over and picked it up. Undoubtedly Toni’s, the threadbare collar and faded fabric announcing its ownership, Laura fingered the worn cloth as she debated on what to do, but then she noticed something at her feet. Amidst the gray and blue speckles of the white linoleum was something that didn’t belong, and stooping over she touched the dark splotch with her finger. When it came back covered in blood, Laura blanched. “Shit.”
Forty-five minutes later, she sat in her car outside a dilapidated old building, checking the numbers painted on the front step with the ones in Toni’s file. Closing the folder, Laura glanced at the first-aid kit sitting on the passenger seat, trying to decide if she dare carry it inside. The torrential rain having not eased a drop, she took a deep breath before jumping out of the car and running into the building. Pausing long enough to push her soaked hair out of her face, she headed up the stairs. Three flights later, Laura walked down a dim hallway and stopped in front of a door with a crooked D nailed to its surface.
***
Having finished her last class of the day, Toni had been gathering papers to grade at home when she heard screams coming from upstairs. Running from the room, she took the steps two at a time and jogged down the hall toward a crowd of women congregating in front of one of the flats. Fighting her way in, she found the flat in shambles, and what was left of the meager furniture was now being used as weapons, the two ex-convicts trying to pummel the other with whatever they could grab. Acting on instinct, Toni pushed them apart and tried her best to keep them separated until help arrived.
One was small, almost spindly, but by the words she spewed, Toni knew that the woman’s mouth had caused the fight, and it was all Toni could do to keep her in her place as the expletives continued to fly. The other was large and dumpy, with frizzy brown hair and insanity in her eyes, and while Toni struggled to contain the spindly woman, the other one continued to shout and threaten. Concentrating on keeping the one woman pushed against the wall, when Toni saw her eyes bulge, she turned around, but there was no time to react. The force of the chair rung hitting her on the temple knocked her to her knees.
Stunned, it took several seconds before Toni could gather her wits enough to stand, and that’s when she saw the glint of a blade in the dumpy one’s hand. Trying to avoid the knife now slashing in her direction, she raised her arms to ward off the attack. Toni dodged one way and then the other, her eyes darting around the room, trying to find something to use to protect herself, and then suddenly her arm turned cold. Confused, she lowered her eyes and watched as the pale yellow fabric of her shirt began to turn crimson.
Her heart felt like it was about to explode, the combination of adrenaline and fear causing her body to rush, and when she raised her eyes and saw the crazed woman coming at her again, Toni held her breath. For a few seconds, time seemed to stand still as the prey realized it was caught and the hunter moved in for the kill, but then shouts, masculine and deep, filled the room. Jack and Bryan stormed in, the language teacher quickly disarming the woman with the knife as Bryan shoved the other hard into a corner.
Pushing her way through the sea of women crowded around the doorway, Toni stumbled down the stairs. With her heart hammering against her ribs as her anxieties reigned supreme, she rushed into her classroom. Grabbing her briefcase, she staggered down the stairs and out into the pouring rain, the flood of water going unnoticed as she walked unsteadily to her car.
She drove home on instinct, barely able to see through the sheets of water and the glare from oncoming headlights. She was propelled through the night by the need to get to her sanctuary where no one could intrude, no one could hurt her...and no one could see the terror in her eyes.
***
In the safety of her flat, Toni stood in the kitchen, her blood mixing with water as it puddled on the floor. Focusing on the hum of the refrigerator compressor, she prayed that its thrum would drown out the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. She needed to concentrate to keep the horrors of her memories at bay, but then the rapping started, and it brought her back to now.
Someone was at the door, and the relentless knocking seemed to mirror the throbs of pain in Toni’s body, and with each loud rap, her head felt one step closer to exploding. She needed quiet. She needed peace and darkness, and for a moment, her fear was replaced by rage.
Determined, Laura stood in the hallway with no intention of leaving until Toni answered the door. She had been there for ten minutes and with each tick of the clock, Laura’s concern grew. There was blood on the door jamb and more on the tattered mat under her feet, and she instantly regretted leaving the first-aid kit in the car. Raising her hand to knock again, Laura stopped when she heard the door being unlocked. The hinges creaked as it opened a few inches, and Laura found herself looking at a ghost.
The color had all but drained from Toni’s face and the dark circles under her eyes appeared almost black against her bloodless complexion. Soaked to the skin, the water dripping from her hair mixed with the blood on her temple, painting a macabre abstract as it made its way down the right side of her face, but she didn’t seem to notice. She didn’t seem to care.
Their eyes met for a moment, and Laura could see Toni’s rage, but in a split-second, the woman’s expression changed to one of fright. Sensing the woman’s distress, Laura kept her voice low and calm. “Toni, Bryan said you might be hurt—”
“No!” Toni shouted as she tried to slam the door.
Laura had known she wasn’t going to be welcomed and she had prepared herself for it. Although she flinched when the door pushed against her instep, she refused to move. “Toni, I just want to see—”
“No!” Toni shrieked, stumbling backward into her flat. Panic-stricken, her fear shrouded reality, and she no longer knew what was real and what was not, and who was a friend and who was an enemy.
Following Toni inside, Laura shut the door. “Toni, it’s Laura, Laura MacLeod...from Calloway.”
Muted by terror, Toni waved her arms in the air as if trying to avoid an invisible demon, and with each passing second, her breathing was becoming more and more labored.
Alarmed by the sight of Toni struggling to breathe, the sheer anguish etched on the woman’s face told Laura all she needed to know. “Toni, you need to calm down. You’re having a panic attack, and you need to slow your breathing. Please, just try to relax.”
Gulping for air, Toni fell to one knee, inhaling again and again as she tried to fill her lungs with more.
“Shit!” Laura said, quickly glancing around the room. Dashing into the kitchen, Laura yanked open every drawer and cabinet until she found a small paper bag. Rushing back into the lounge to find Toni clutching her throat in agony, Laura didn’t think twice. Falling to her knees, she tried to place the bag over Toni’s mouth, but Toni panicked. Desperately trying to get away, she scrambled backward across the floor like a spider trying to hide, all the while gasping for air.
“Toni, you’re going to pass out!” Laura said, crawling closer. “Please trust me. This will help,” Laura pleaded. “Toni...please...please just trust me.”
Their eyes locked, green ones filled with compassion gazing into dark-brown filled with anguish. “Relax, I won’t hurt you,” Laura whispered as she slowly put the sack over Toni’s mouth.
Toni tried to fight. She wanted to fight, but the room was spinning and her body was no longer hers. Her strength was gone, but as her vision cleared for a moment, she grabbed Laura’s wrists in a death grip. She was scared. Oh God, she was scared.
Expanding and contracting, the paper crackled in time with Toni’s breathing as Laura hovered over her, mindless of the powerful hold Toni had on her wrists, but as Toni’s breathing eased and her eyes fluttered closed, Laura let out a sigh of relief. Sleep was taking hold. The panic attack had ended. The worst was over.