“What’s that?” Toni asked, seeing a package she didn’t recognize as Kris put away the groceries.
Inwardly, Kris groaned. Without turning around, she said quietly, “Oh...um...just some new biscuits. They were on sale. I thought you might like to try them.”
“Oh, sure...whatever.”
A month before, Krista would have been shocked to hear Toni accept change of any kind, but hairline cracks had begun to appear in the woman’s cloistered existence, and aspects of her old friend had begun to slip through. Now, when Kris came over, they talked. Not long, in-depth conversations, but conversations nonetheless. The changes were subtle, and no one except Krista and perhaps Laura had noticed, but something other than despair had begun to take hold of Toni Vaughn.
Noticing a candy bar on the counter, Kris cocked her head to the side. “Where’d that come from?”
Toni followed her eyes, and the corners of her mouth turned up a fraction. “Laura.”
“Laura gave you chocolate? Any particular reason?”
“She ran out of fruit,” Toni said as she headed to her bedroom.
That day had started out like any other day for Toni. She woke up at five and shuffled into the kitchen to turn on the coffeemaker. Returning to her bedroom, she pulled on her trainers, jumped on her treadmill and jogged for an hour, and after showering and pulling on some clothes, she poured herself a cup of coffee and nibbled some biscuits while she prepared her lunch. Filling her thermal mug, she grabbed her lunch and headed out the door, triple-checking all the locks before she headed to work.
Toward late afternoon, she heard the familiar click of heels on the tile, and though her facial expression didn’t change, in the deep recesses of Toni’s brain, a smile was born. Looking up as Laura walked into the room, their eyes met for the briefest of seconds and Toni voiced a very quiet hello before returning her eyes to the papers scattered on her desk.
Since the day she had visited Laura’s office to get the first-aid kit, the anxiety Toni always felt around people other than her students had eased, at least where Laura MacLeod was concerned. Knowing that she owed the woman something, and buying her dinner was out of the question, common courtesy would have to do.
Laura took her seat as Toni handed out test papers, and for the better part of an hour, the only sound to be heard was that of pencils scratching on paper. Sitting like she always did, her legs crossed at the ankles and tucked slightly under her chair, Laura’s head remained bowed as she filled out reports, while Toni sat at the front of the room, occasionally stealing glances of the department head.
While Toni cared nothing about the clothing she wore, as she studied the woman at the back of the class, her lip curled just a hair. Partial to wearing skirts with jackets to match, today Laura was wearing the most basic of black...and it was basic. It seemed to fit her small frame perfectly, as if it had been tailored to her curves, but in Toni’s opinion, it lacked a feminine softness. It spoke of authority and business, and even though it couldn’t be considered masculine, without the white silk blouse unbuttoned just enough to show a hint of cleavage, as far as Toni was concerned, Laura’s ensemble was downright boring.
The tests were gathered and class was dismissed. As the students shuffled out, Laura gathered her belongings and walked out of the room, but when Toni turned and saw no apple on her desk, a fissure opened and the person she once was made an appearance. “Oi!” she hollered. “Where’s my bloody apple?”
Almost to the stairs, Laura stopped and then turned to look down the hallway. Her entire face spread into a smile as she slowly walked back, and as she entered the classroom, Toni wore an actual grin. It wasn’t ear-to-ear or toothy or over-the-top, but it was definitely a grin…and it looked wonderful.
Opening her bag, Laura rummaged around until she found a candy bar, and placing it on Toni’s desk, she said, “I haven’t had time to shop. Hope you like chocolate.”
***
Amused that Laura was now giving candy to her reclusive friend, Krista examined the wrapper for a second before dropping the treat on the counter and going in search of Toni. Finding her rummaging through her tiny closet mumbling unintelligible words, Krista said, “I’m going to be heading out, unless there’s something else you need.”
“No, I’m fine,” Toni said, tossing another shirt on the bed. Turning around to find that Kris had already left the room, Toni jogged up the hallway to catch her. “Krista.”
“Yeah?”
Stuffing her hands in the pockets her jeans, Toni said, “I was wondering...well, I thought...I thought maybe, that is if you have the time, we might be able to go clothes shopping early one morning, before the crowds get too bad. “
“We?”
“Yeah.”
“As in you and I?”
“If that’s okay?”
Kris told herself to keep her excitement to a minimum, but she just couldn’t. Squealing, she ran over and pulled Toni into a hug. She expected what she received from Toni, which was nothing in return, but Kris didn’t care. She didn’t care one goddamn bit. Holding Toni at arm’s length, Kris said, “Of course, it’s okay, and there’s no time like the present, so I’ll be here bright and early tomorrow morning.”
Raising an eyebrow, Toni stared back at her friend. “You don’t do early.”
“Are you serious about this? I mean, about going shopping.”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Good, then I’ll be here tomorrow bright and early!”
***
Wrapped in a towel, Krista softly padded into the bedroom. Trying her best not to make a sound, she opened the wardrobe door, but the hinge squeaked and seconds later, her wife squawked.
“What time is it?” Robin groused from under the sheets.
“A bit past seven, now go back to sleep.”
“Seven? In the morning? On a Saturday? Are you crazy?”
“No, I’m not, now go back to sleep.”
Switching on the bedside lamp, Robin propped a pillow behind her back and yawned. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she said, “Honey, what’s going on? You’re never up this early on a weekend.”
“I’m taking Toni shopping,” Kris said, opening a dresser drawer.
“Oh, okay,” Robin said, sinking into the pillow, but then the penny dropped. “You’re what!” she screamed, sitting up in bed.
Beaming, Kris rushed to the bed, plopping down practically on top of Robin in her excitement. “She asked me last night, out of the blue, and I wasn’t about to say no. I would have told you when I got home, but you were already asleep.”
“Oh, my God, this is great! Do you want me to go with you? I don’t mind. I can sleep anytime.”
“Oh, baby, I know you love her and want to help, but I think she’s going to be nervous enough without adding another person to the mix. Besides, you know how you get around her.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”
Giving Robin a quick kiss, Kris headed back to the dresser, dropping the towel as she rummaged in her lingerie drawer. Hearing Robin’s whistle, she turned around. “See something you like?”
“Several things, actually,” Robin said, her eyes drinking in the view. Hopping out of bed, she grabbed her robe and then went over and playfully pinched Krista’s bum before shuffling into the bathroom. A few seconds later, she called out, “What time are you picking her up?”
“Just before nine, but I was so excited I couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d make some breakfast. You hungry?”
When no response was given, Kris shrugged and then stepped into her knickers. Hearing the door open, she glanced over her shoulder, and her mouth dropped open. Robin was standing in the doorway totally nude.
“As a matter of fact,” Robin purred, pulling Kris into her arms. “I’m practically starving.”
***
Although briefly sidelined by her oversexed wife, Krista arrived at Toni’s flat just as promised, bright and early, and found that Toni’s confidence level had dropped dramatically since the night before. In silence, Kris watched as Toni stomped about having an animated argument with herself. With her arms flailing about as expletives were growled, grumbled and shouted, she nervously paced back and forth and back again. Kris remained silent, clamping her lips together so as not to laugh, but when Toni handed her the list of clothes she needed, Krista found her voice.
“Sorry, Toni, that’s not an option,” she said, handing her back the list.
“I can’t do this, Krista. Just get me a pair of jeans and a few shirts. That’s all I need.”
“No.”
“Please—”
“No.”
“Krista—”
“It’s not happening, Toni.”
“I can’t do it.”
“Yes, you can.”
“No, I can’t!”
“Yes—you—can.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“I’m doing this because last night, you said you wanted to go shopping, and I didn’t get my arse out of bed early on a Saturday so I can go out and buy you knickers! Now, get it together, Vaughn, because you and I are going out!”
Kris held her breath and prayed she hadn’t pushed too hard. Even though over the past several weeks she had seen brief glimpses of her old friend reappear, she was also well aware of how easily Toni could pull back into herself. She was obviously scared, but she was talking, and shouting, and whether she knew it or not, she was becoming Toni again.
***
Less than an hour later, after spending ten minutes convincing Toni to get out of the car, they entered a small shop that offered its clientele the most basic of clothing. Its shelves were filled with jeans of every size and color, and racks bulged with T-shirts, Oxfords and the like. With only one other customer in the store, even though Toni was visibly nervous, Krista remained at her side while they rummaged through the stacks of denim. Feeling more like a bodyguard than a friend, Kris, nevertheless, stayed by Toni’s side, and when clothes had to be tried on, Kris stood guard outside the changing room door.
Having already found a pair of jeans and two Oxfords, as they roamed the aisles, Kris noticed that Toni seemed to have lost interest in what the store had to offer. Browsing through the racks aimlessly, Toni hadn’t stopped to look at anything seriously in over five minutes.
“Toni, what’s up? I always get your clothes here.”
“I...I just thought, well I mean...I...I—”
“Spit it out, Vaughn.”
Hanging her head, Toni raised her eyes. “The other day at work, I noticed that most of the staff...well, I mean, Laura wears rather professional-looking clothes, and I’m always in jeans and T-shirts. So, I thought maybe I could try to look a bit more...a bit more proper, considering I’m a teacher and all.”
Failing at hiding her excitement, Kris snatched the clothes from Toni’s hands. “Why don’t I go pay for this lot, and we’ll go somewhere else? There are few shops down the street I think you might like.”
With Toni’s credit card in hand, Kris quickly paid for the purchases, and then hooked her arm through Toni’s as they left the store. Less than two blocks later, they walked into another shop; however, this one was upscale and trendy, its racks filled with the finest blouses, cardigans and trousers.
A bit busier than the last, Krista watched intently for any sign that Toni was beginning to feel tense. When she saw her hands turn into fists or her face pale, Kris would move in close, silently offering Toni her assurances that all would be okay, and all was.
While Toni moved through a rack filled with trousers in the finest fabrics, Krista stood opposite, fingering through one filled with leather. Pulling out a pair, she held them up. “How about these?”
“I don’t think they’re proper school attire.”
“You used to wear them all the time when you worked at the university.”
As soon as the words came out, Krista wanted to die. Promising Toni years before never to talk about her past life, Kris was afraid to look up and view the damage she had just caused. Several seconds passed, and then she heard Toni say, “Back then I was always on the pull.”
Relieved that her misspoken words hadn’t spoiled the day, Kris breathed easy. “That’s true, but you never know when you’ll need something for a special occasion.”
Remembering Laura’s suggestion about dinner, Toni glanced at the leather trousers and sighed. It had once been her favorite material, and before going to prison, half her wardrobe consisted of leather trousers, waistcoats and jackets, but that was when she cared. That was when she was alive.
“No, these are fine. I’ll just try them on,” Toni said quietly, holding up some dress trousers. Her mind occupied with thoughts of a life she no longer had, she walked to the dressing room.
Krista knew instantly that there was something on Toni’s mind other than clothes for work. The woman was terrified of strangers, and she had just meandered through a boutique now filled with people as if they didn’t exist. Trotting over to the changing area, Kris stood outside the door. “Toni, what’s going on?”
Opening the door a few inches, Toni peered out, “What do you mean?”
Rolling her eyes, Kris said, “I wasn’t born yesterday, Toni. You just walked through a crowded shop without batting a bloody eye. That tells me that there’s something on your mind. Now, what is it?”
“It’s nothing,” Toni said, closing the door in Krista’s face.
“You’re lying and we both know it,” Krista said as she tried the knob. Finding it locked, she stomped her foot. “Damn it, Toni! Open the sodding door and tell me what the hell is going on.”
A few seconds later, Toni peeked out again. “Look, it’s really nothing. It’s just something Laura said.”
“Oh yeah? What?”
“Well, she thought, I mean, she suggested that I could pay her back for helping me…by taking her out to dinner.”
“Dinner?”
“Yeah, and if I did, not that I would, mind you, but if I did, I’d need something nice to wear.”
“Are you thinking about it?”
“What’s to think about, Krista? You and I both know it’s impossible.”
“You’re managing to get through today, aren’t you?”
“Sure, but I’m with you, and I trust you. You know how I am.”
“And she doesn’t?”
“Well, no, I’m sure she does, but you and I have a history together. If I freak out around you—”
“It’s not as embarrassing as doing it in front of a stranger.”
“Exactly.”
“I don’t know about you, but if someone came to my flat in the middle of the night to patch me up, I don’t think I’d consider them a stranger.”
“Yeah, but—”
“Toni, Laura seems really nice. If she’s the one that suggested dinner, and she already knows how uncomfortable you are around people, it sounds to me like she’s willing to take a chance. From where I’m standing, I think that makes her a friend. Don’t you?”
Kris was right, and Toni knew it. Somewhere over the past weeks, Laura MacLeod had crossed the line between stranger and friend. Even though Toni still tensed when Laura walked into her classroom, and even though her palms would sweat and her heart would race, in the inner depths of her soul, Toni knew that Laura was no longer a stranger. Thinking for a moment, Toni said, “Kris, I don’t know what to do.”
“I do. Stay right there,” Kris said as she disappeared back into the store. A few minutes later, she returned with a pair of leather trousers, two silk blouses and a rather large grin.
“What’s this?” Toni asked, looking at the shimmering red and blue shirts.
“There’s no harm in being prepared, is there?” Kris said as she handed the clothes to Toni. “And you can’t very well wear cotton Oxfords with leather, Toni. It’s tacky. Now go try these on.” The changing room door had barely latched when Kris added, “And I want to see them!”