“You’re up early,” Eleanor said, shuffling into the kitchen.
Looking up he smiled at the sleepy-eyed woman staring back at him. “Good morning to you, too.”
“Whatcha doing?”
“I thought I’d make my girls some breakfast,” Bill said, turning around and pulling Eleanor into his arms.
Their lips met in a slow good morning kiss, and then resting her head on his shoulder, she said, “I like that.”
“What?”
“You calling us your girls.”
“Good,” he said, placing a kiss on her forehead.
Glancing at the clock on the wall, Eleanor said, “I’d best go wake them up.”
“It’s still early. Let them sleep.”
“I would, except the ladies from church will be over tonight to pick up the biscuits I promised them, and we haven’t begun to make them yet. Be right back.”
A few minutes later, Eleanor stood in the hallway with a puzzled look on her face. She had knocked three times and called out their names twice, but having yet to receive a response she shrugged and opened their door. Seeing that the bed was empty, Eleanor was about to look out the window to see if Laura’s car was gone, when she noticed the door leading to the other bedroom was open. Without thinking twice, she went over and looked inside. Seeing Laura and Toni asleep on the floor, Eleanor frowned and then crept back the way she came. Reaching the hallway, she closed the door and rapped loudly on the frame. “Laura! Toni! You awake?”
Eleanor patiently waited, knowing her pounding would have woken the dead and finally the door opened a crack. Seeing her daughter peeking through the opening, Eleanor said, “Sorry, I know it’s early, but I wanted to let you know that your father is making us all breakfast. That is, if you’re interested?”
“Oh…um…okay. Sounds good. We’ll be down in a tick.”
“Good, I’ll let him know.”
***
Standing at the sink washing the breakfast dishes, Eleanor asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?” Laura asked, stacking two more plates on the counter.
“That Toni had sleeping issues.”
“What are you talking about?”
“If she needed a harder mattress or even a cot, I could have arranged it.”
“Mum, what the hell are you talking about? Toni doesn’t have any sleeping issues. She has the occasional nightmare, but that hasn’t happened in a while.”
“Then why were you two sleeping on the floor?”
Laura’s mouth dropped open and staring at her mother, she asked hesitantly, “You were in our room?”
“This morning when I knocked and you didn’t answer I let myself in and found you both on the floor in the other room. I just assumed—”
Eleanor lost her ability to speak when she saw Laura arch a single eyebrow, her eyes gleaming with humor as she stared back at her mother. Realizing her mistake, a blush to end all blushes crossed Eleanor’s cheeks. Clearing her throat, she said, “I see. Well, I suppose I should reconsider entering your bedroom in the future without an invitation.”
“Excellent idea,” Laura said, kissing her mother on the cheek. “And I’m thinking I should do the same. Yes?”
A bit more color found its way to Eleanor’s face. “I hope you don’t mind, but it was rather late when we finished last night, and I didn’t see the need for him to travel at that hour.”
“Actually, I’m getting used to him being around, but it’s still kinda weird knowing that you two are back together.”
“From where I’m standing, it’s kind of nice.”
Seeing her mother’s radiant smile, Laura said, “You really do love him, don’t you?”
“With all my heart, Laura. With all my heart.”
***
After receiving a whispered suggestion from Eleanor that he should bring back an overnight bag, Bill left just after breakfast to go to his apartment for a quick shower and a change of clothes, and two hours later he returned to a kitchen in shambles. Rolling up his sleeves, he began the task of washing all the bowls and measuring cups that had been piled by the sink during his absence, and amidst the sounds of laughter and the smell of vanilla, the morning faded into afternoon.
Standing at the sink, he listened to the women talk as they mixed and measured, and when expletives flowed from Toni’s mouth when she forgot to use an oven mitt, he laughed heartily at her creative use of one particular word. His mouth watered at the smell of Scottish shortbread slowly baking in the oven, and his hand was slapped more than once when he tried to steal a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie off a tray. And as he waited for the next batter-covered bowl to be handed to him, Bill looked at the women in the room and smiled. In all of his life, there weren’t many days burned into his memory...actually, up until today, there had only been three.
On the day of their wedding, Mother Nature had done her best to dampen the afternoon, but the spirits of a young man and woman on the threshold of starting a life together could not be washed away by raindrops and thunder. In a small church, atop a hill and surrounded by the greenery of the country they loved, they spoke their vows in front of family and friends. Wearing a Highland kilt, he had walked his bride, dressed in white, down an aisle covered in rose petals, and after carrying her over the threshold of their home that night, he made love to the woman who completed him…and created the one who would fill his heart with pride.
Nine months later, in the wee hours of a Friday morning he stood by a bed and marveled at the sight of his daughter. Swaddled in white cotton, with chubby cheeks and bright eyes, she stole his heart with her first coo. Tiny fisted hands reached up to him and when he held out a finger, and she took hold, it was like no other feeling in the world. He never thought he could feel humbled by just one touch, and he never thought it would happen again...but he had been wrong.
***
“Be careful.”
“I’m fine.”
“If you fall, Eleanor will have my head.”
Smiling, Toni looked down at the ground. “If I fall, Eleanor will be the least of your worries.”
“What do you mean?” Bill asked, shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked up at the woman on the ladder.
“You’ve obviously never seen Laura’s temper.”
“Have you ever seen Ellie’s?” Bill asked.
“No, why?”
“Trust me, you don’t want to,” he said, snickering under his breath. “You going to be okay if I go finish up the shrubs?”
“Yep, only have a few more clips to go and then this part will be done. Go attack the hedges. I won’t be far behind you.”
Watching as Bill walked back to the front gardens, Toni returned to the task at hand with a smile on her face. He no longer felt like a stranger to her, and the anxieties that she had had the night before seemed to have disappeared. She liked him. He had an easiness about him. A relaxing, playful boyishness, and as they had covered the gardens in lights, she found herself laughing more than once as he mumbled four-letter words at the amount of decorations Eleanor had purchased. They chatted comfortably as they assembled silhouettes of deer and angels, while making fun of the other’s inability to put Tab A into Slot C. The day was bright and crisp, and as she reached out to hook the next light into its clip, Toni breathed in the frosty air and smiled again.
Standing with a tangle of netted lights in his hand, Bill glanced in Toni’s direction, frowning as she once again overextended her reach. It was something he had done more times than he could remember over the years, so holding back his comments, he was about to cover more shrubbery when he saw her slip. “Shit!” he said, tossing the lights aside as he bolted toward the ladder.
It took five long strides to get to her, but it seemed like an eternity as he ran across the gravel, and with every step he took, Bill prayed to God that he’d make it on time…and he did. Managing to wrap his arms around Toni before she collided with the stone-covered drive, they both fell to the ground with a thud. His back twinged at the impact, but he didn’t care. Overcome with emotion at the near tragedy, he pulled her into a bear hug as he silently thanked God for his swiftness.
“Get your bloody hands off me!” Toni growled, struggling like a madwoman to get out of his arms. “Let go of me!”
For a split second, Bill didn’t understand her terror-filled shrieks, but when Toni began kicking and punching to get away, he relaxed his hold and watched in shock as she scrambled across the driveway. Stunned and saddened, he didn’t know what to do. Like an animal ready to attack, Toni remained crouched on the ground, glaring back at him as if daring him to move and Bill’s heart broke at the expression on her face. She was terrified…absolutely terrified.
Eleanor had told him that Toni had been abused in prison. Over drinks and dinner, she had explained a few of Toni’s fears and quirks, but it wasn’t until that moment when Bill realized the depths of the woman’s despair, and tears sprang to his eyes. Unconsciously, he shook his head, trying to say without words that she needn’t fear him. That he would never hurt her, but how do you convince someone so frightened to trust?
Fearful that any sudden movement would cause more harm to the tormented woman, Bill cautiously got to his feet. Never allowing his eyes to leave hers, he prayed that she’d see the message they were sending. Trust me. Please trust me. I won’t hurt you.
Enraged and ready to fight, Toni squatted on the ground with hands fisted as her enemy slowly got up, and when he stood tall, she tensed, preparing to strike out if he took one step closer. Trying to determine his next move, she looked him in the eye and in an instant, Toni’s hellish nightmare ended.
He looked so sad...so hurt...and when she saw the tears rolling down Bill’s face, she felt gutted. Like a deflated balloon, Toni sagged to her knees, embarrassed and ashamed. Finally able to hear the words of her heart over the deafening sounds of her terror, her gaze clouded with tears as the words kept repeating in her head. He’s not one of them. You can trust him. He’s not one of them. You can trust him.
Taking a ragged breath, she raised her eyes to meet his, and listening to her heart, she reached out her hand to him, praying he would take it…and he did.
Bill’s heart grew large as he took two quick steps, and pulling Toni into his arms, they held each other close. They didn’t need words. They didn’t need explanations or apologies as she buried her head in his shoulder, and he buried his in hers.
He wasn’t her father, but in his arms, she felt safe. A dozen men had given her a reason to fear, but this man had just given her a reason to trust and she knew she would never fear him again.
She wasn’t his daughter, but the love he felt told him she was. Their souls had touched amidst gravel and fear, and a bond had been formed that would never be broken. He loved her. It was the simplest of truths, and he would protect her until the day God took him away.
Neither had a choice…all they had were reasons.
***
“William!”
Shaken from his thoughts, he looked at the woman who had called out his name. “Sorry, dear. What was that?”
“Where did you just go?” Eleanor asked, eyeing the man.
“Oh...um...just a bit of daydreaming. What did you need?”
“There are a few bags of tins in the office. Can you get them for us so we can get these biscuits packed up? The ladies will be here soon.”
“Sure…sure,” he said, tossing the towel on the counter as he walked out of the room. “Be right back.”
Eleanor returned to the trays of shortbread, but hearing another “Shit!” fly from Toni’s mouth, she looked up. “You didn’t burn yourself again, did you?”
“No,” Toni said, giving Laura a sideways glance. “Someone keeps swatting my hand away from the biscuits.”
“That’s because if you don’t stop eating what we’re making, we won’t have any left to pack up,” Laura said as she moved another baking sheet out of Toni’s reach.
“It’s better than the way I used to be, isn’t it?”
Curious, Eleanor looked up from what she was doing. “Can I ask what that means?”
“Oh...um...I had a few problems...um...actually...”
Seeing Toni struggle for the words, Laura spoke up. “Toni used to ration what she ate. Something she had to do in prison, but she’s getting better. It doesn’t happen that often anymore, and when it does, we work through it.”
“Oh, I see,” Eleanor said quietly. “Well, then perhaps we should make a few more batches so we have plenty. How’s that?”
“Works for me,” Bill chimed in as he returned to the kitchen carrying a pile of tins. Placing them on the table, he added, “And my vote is for more shortbread.”
“And who said you had a vote?” Eleanor asked with a twinkle in her eye.
“Ouch.”
Enjoying the playful exchange, Toni glanced in Laura’s direction and grinned when she saw the expression on Laura’s face. Although adamant that she didn’t think of Bill as her father, the look in Laura’s eyes said just the opposite. They were smiling and bright, and filled with the love of a daughter for her father…whether she cared to admit it or not.
“I forgot about your sweet tooth,” Eleanor said, opening a tin. “I’d best hide the chocolates, I’m thinking.”
“Just don’t hide them in the bedroom, unless you’ve forgotten what I’m like on a sugar high,” Bill quipped, totally forgetting he was in mixed company.
Having returned to her work, when the room grew silent, Toni looked up and promptly bit her lip to stop herself from laughing. The faces of the three members of the MacLeod family now glowed with a brilliant shade of strawberry.
***
Alone on the patio, Toni pulled her coat tightly around her as she took a drag of her cigarette and gazed up at the evening sky. The sun’s brilliance had long since been lost over the horizon, but a thousand stars and a phosphorescent moon illuminated the blackness of the night. With the temperatures dropping throughout the day, she wasn’t surprised when she saw snowflakes begin to fall. Drifting to earth in a silent ballet, they floated and twirled their way to her, and she smiled as she watched them melt on her skin. It was quiet and peaceful, and with only the occasional rustle of dried leaves in the gardens to keep her company, when the back door suddenly opened, Toni nearly jumped off the bench.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Laura said, closing the door behind her. “I thought you might want something to drink.”
Handing Toni a mug, Laura sat next to her, snuggling close against the chill of the night. “Mum said it was a perfect night for hot chocolate, and seeing the snow I’d have to agree.”
“Me, too,” Toni said, taking a hesitant sip of the steaming cocoa. Wrapping her arm around Laura’s waist, she pulled her closer.
Giggling, Laura asked, “Are you trying to stay warm or looking for a good time?”
“A bit of both, I think.”
Each got quiet as they watched the snow continue to fall, until after a few minutes, Toni said, “I’d like to have a garden like this someday.”
“We can, if you’d like.”
“Yeah?”
“Sure, but we probably need to find a place to live before we start talking about landscaping.”
“Oh, Christ, I forgot about that.”
“Well I haven’t, and when we get back home, we need to start looking, don’t you think?”
“I suppose.”
“What’s that about?” Laura asked, pointing to the frown on Toni’s face.
“I know you’re going to want me to go with you, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to manage walking into strange houses.”
“You’re second guessing me again.”
“Sorry, I just don’t want you to do all the legwork.”
“I won’t. Sweetheart, once I tell the estate agent what we’re looking for, she’ll do most of the work. Plus, they all use the Internet now, so once we see something online we like, then I’ll call and arrange a time for us to see it together. Okay?”
Smiling, Toni placed a quick kiss on Laura’s cheek. “So, where do you want to live?”
“Wherever you feel the most comfortable.”
“I like it here.”
“That would be one hell of a commute.”
“No, I mean, I like being away from the city. I like being able to sit outside and hear birds sing instead of traffic noise.”
“Okay, we’ll try to find a place away from all the hustle and bustle. How’s that?”
“That works.”
“Big house or small?”
“That depends on whether you were serious about having that horde of children you were talking about.”
Pausing for a moment to think, Laura said, “I think large would be a good idea.”
“I’d like to get an older one though. Something...something we can fix up together. Something that has some character.”
“Okay, but I’ll be honest with you. I’ve never really been into home repair.”
“Neither have I, but it will give me something to do when you’re waddling around with a swollen belly…for years and years and years.”
Even though Toni’s words were playful, the message she was sending was clear. Laura’s eyes turned glassy as she gazed back at the woman, and then with a sigh, she leaned in for a kiss. The night was cold, but Toni’s lips were warm and welcoming, and feeling no need to rush, a dozen light kisses were given until the tip of Laura’s tongue touched Toni’s lips. A pleasure-filled moan rose from Toni’s throat as their kiss deepened, and when they finally came up for air, their breath steamed and swirled around their heads before fading into the darkness.
“I love you,” Laura whispered softly.
“I love you back.”
“You’re amazing.”
“Kiss that good, was it?”
Grinning, Laura said, “Yes, it was, but that’s not what I’m talking about.”
“No?”
“You surprised me today.”
“How so?”
“When the ladies from the church stopped by. You weren’t nervous at all, were you?”
“No, actually I wasn’t.”
“Can I ask why?”
“I think it’s like Abby said,” Toni answered, lighting a cigarette. “Make things familiar and they’re not as scary. I know where the doors are in this house and where things are kept. I know that our room is right up the stairs and the patio is out the back door, and I know that your mum and dad are good people. It’s not every day a parent learns their child is gay. And even though they both said it was okay, saying it and showing it are two different things, but they’ve done just that. They aren’t put off when I touch your hand or kiss your cheek. It truly is okay, and because of it, because of how they’ve reacted, or better yet, how they haven’t reacted, they’ve given me a reason to trust them and to know they’ll protect me.”
“Well, if they won’t, I will.”
“I know you will.”
Gazing at the woman whose black hair was now dusted with white, Laura reached up and brushed away a few snowflakes. “Toni?”
“Yeah?”
“Kiss me again.”
“My pleasure,” Toni said, quickly tossing her cigarette in the snow.
***
“What are you doing standing in the dark?” Eleanor asked, walking into the kitchen.
“Come here,” Bill whispered.
Raising her eyebrow, Eleanor went over and stood in front of Bill, and following his line of sight, she looked out on to the patio. Seeing their daughter locked in an embrace with Toni, she said quietly, “I believe this is called voyeurism.”
“I think it’s called watching young love. Honestly, Ellie, have you ever seen two people more in love than those two?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“Yes, I think I have,” Eleanor said, giving him a quick glance.
“I said young love,” Bill quipped, resting his chin on her shoulder.
With a snort, Eleanor nodded. “Point taken.”
“You know what I find amazing?” he said softly, watching as his daughter brushed snow from Toni’s hair.
“What’s that?”
“You had such an issue with Laura wanting to dye her hair or pierce her lip when she was sixteen, yet when she comes home and tells you she’s in love with a woman it’s simply not a problem. Don’t you find that odd?”
“Not really.”
“No?”
Leaning against his chest, Eleanor smiled when she saw the two women on the patio, once again locked in a heated embrace. “Those things would have taken away our daughter’s beauty. Toni adds to it. Laura stands taller when she’s around Toni. Have you noticed? She positively beams when the woman walks into a room or makes a joke. It’s like...it’s like they complete each other. What I find amazing is that when Toni gets scared, Laura can calm her with just one touch, and when Laura gets fired up, like the other night when we were making fun of her decorations, Toni can calm her down with just one whisper.”
“You have any idea of how proud I am of you?”
“Me? What did I do?”
“You turned that little girl of ours into one hell of a woman, one hell of a human being for that matter. You made her strong and smart, and caring and beautiful. Christ, Ellie…she’s perfect.”
“I’d like to think you had something to do with that.”
“Hardly! I wasn’t around. Remember? The only thing she got from me is a few gifts she doesn’t even know I gave her.”
“You’re wrong,” Eleanor said, turning in his arms. “She has your smile, and the green in her eyes comes from you. She has your intelligence and your sense of humor, and God help us all, William, she has your temper, too. She’s the best of both of us. Yes, I raised a child alone, but every time I looked at Laura, I saw you, and with that much love in my heart, how could I possibly go wrong?”