Gerry McCullough, born and brought up in North Belfast, is an award winning short story writer, with a distinguished reputation. She has had over fifty short stories published, broadcast, or collected in anthologies. In 2005 her story Primroses won the Cuirt Award (Galway Arts Festival) and she has won, been short listed, and been commended in a number of other competitions since. Gerry lives just outside Bangor, not too far from Belfast. She is married to singer-songwriter and radio presenter Raymond McCullough, and has four children. Gerry’s first novel, Belfast Girls, was published by Night Publishing in 2010 and is currently at Number 1 in Women’s Literary Fiction. Danger Danger, her second Irish romantic thriller, published by Precious Oil Publications, is fast catching up on Belfast Girls, as is her new collection of 12 Irish short stories, The Seanachie: Tales of Old Seamus.
Find Gerry online at gerrymccullough.com
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Tonya Kappes
My Eddy,
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I don’t know if you know this, but every year on our anniversary I post on all my social-media sites “happy anniversary to the man who saved my life.” It never fails that after I post my status, I get a lot of people asking me how you saved my life.
I’ve never commented back, just stuck with the message. Recently when our anniversary rolled around and I posted the message, it made me wonder if you really understood how you really did save my life.
We were both divorced and raising our boys when our boys met at the private school where I was the director. Our paths never crossed at school because you dropped the boys off before I got there and you picked them up after I had left for the day. My day consisted of running the school, working a part-time job as a child therapist, being a single mom, and finishing up my master’s degree at the local University. I had very little time for a social life. Not to mention that what little time I did have for a social life, which was when my son was at his father’s, I spent in bed.
On the days my son was gone to his dad’s, I didn’t have to put on a smiling face and pretend how happy I was. In fact, I was the complete opposite. I was so severely depressed. But you didn’t know . . .or did you?
There was a shift in my life when you called me at the school asking me if my son could come to your house to play with your sons. You said that you tried to catch me at work, but I was always gone before you got there.
Without any hesitation I agreed to the play date. You see, it was my son’s first play date and I wanted him to be happy.
Of course I paced and held the phone in between the twenty times that I called to check on him only for you to ask me if he could spend the night. My heart sank. Happiness did not fill my heart as it did when you had asked him to come play. Loneliness filled my soul.
Sadness crept in like a cold, leaving me yet alone with my depression of living in the shadow of a broken marriage, living away from the town I had grown up in, away from family, and friends.
Minutes later, after I had agreed he could spend the night, I was on my way to your house with a bag full of clothes and a little blue toothbrush.
I will never forget the craziness going on in your home. Crazy full of love. Crazy full of happy boys. Crazy full of food! And a big crazy messy house! You asked me to stay for a while.
It was a fun night. The boys played outside while you and I sat on your porch talking about life. I had never had a relationship with a man where he truly understood me. I will never forget the smile on your face that night.
I went home. Home to the darkness, quietness, and loneliness, only to remember that tomorrow (Saturday) my son would be gone to his dad’s for the night. That would make two nights in a row that I would be without him.
Depression. Did you know?
I spent the next day in bed until there was a knock at my door and you were standing on the other side with two precious little boys wanting to know if I’d like to go get an ice cream. You said it was the boys idea. That ice cream turned my life around.
Our boys’ play dates turned into grown-up dates. The boys got closer and we got closer. If our boys weren’t at my house, they were at your house. Every morning I found a cup of coffee on my front porch and a hand-written letter waiting for me. Your notes encouraged me to get through the day. Instead of going to bed depressed, I started to go to bed wondering if I was going to find a coffee and another encouraging note from you. You never failed me.
I put our boys on the bus for their first day of kindergarten and now we are in their high school days where, to this day, I still put them on the bus every morning.
On our wedding day, in front of everyone, we had a blended family ceremony where we vowed to our children that we would show them what a real family was. A real marriage between two people that love each other unconditionally. We have built a home that our boys call home. A place where we laugh, love, and enjoy. Our love shines through the boys’ happiness.
Anyone that reads this and knows me will be shocked when they read that I was depressed. I put on that happy face no matter what life throws me, even though my insides were killing me. I never thought that I would have ever found a man like you. You saw that I needed to be rescued and you did it. I can’t help but think that I have filled the void that you and your boys needed.
I am eternally grateful to you. You have given me the dream life I have always wanted. Three great boys that call us mom and dad in a loving unconditional environment. You encouraged me to become a writer and supported me as I transitioned into a full-time author.
The first time I came to your house, you asked me to stay for a while. . . did you mean forever? Because forever is what you got!
When I hear people say that too much ice cream is bad for your health, I simply smile, shake my head and tell them, “ice cream saved my life.”
Xo
TK
P.S. I still love my morning coffee and love notes. They still get me through the day.
**Author note: Tonya refers to her husband as My Eddy and he always refers to her as TK.