7
GET OUT OF THE
EMERGENCY LANE

You’ve undoubtedly heard of the “fast lane.” It’s that destructive, hyper path that many people turn to for excitement or to fill some void in their life. It’s usually associated with a very fast pace, lack of sleep, too many commitments, and too much partying. Those who survive it almost always regret taking it in the first place. It wears you down and makes you feel frazzled.

There’s another “lane” to be wary of that I like to call the “emergency lane.” This is a less obvious, more socially acceptable lifestyle path that many people find themselves on—often without even knowing it.

In a nutshell, living life in the emergency lane means you treat virtually everything as—you guessed it—an emergency! Every decision seems critical, every mistake is looked at as monumental. There is an almost total lack of perspective. You’re usually in a hurry, anxious to get somewhere other than where you are. In a way, it’s as if you treat ordinary events like they were front-page news in the newspaper. For example, if I were in the emergency lane and someone criticized me, I’d automatically overreact, as if to say, “RICHARD CARLSON IS CRITICIZED.” I’d give the event too much attention, significance, and importance.

The emergency lane is socially acceptable because so many people seem to be in it. When you look around, you’ll notice that many people do indeed treat life like an emergency—one drama after another. When you ask someone how she is doing, you’ll probably hear, “I’m really busy” as a response. If someone cuts in front of her on the highway, it becomes a federal case in her mind. She discusses the event with others, thinks about how awful it was, and may even try to retaliate with some dangerous driving of her own. If such people have to wait in line, or if something goes wrong, or if someone makes a mistake, or whatever, it’s treated as a really big deal and given a great deal of significance.

The reason the emergency lane is so destructive is that inherent in it is dissatisfaction and a great deal of stress. The very fact that you’re on edge and in such an enormous hurry means you’re stressed out. The fact that everything seems so critical means there’s a great deal at stake, a lot on the line. This creates anxiety and fear. You’re rarely satisfied because you’re keeping track of your own mistakes and those of others. Everything seems to matter.

In addition, when everything is a really big deal to you, it’s almost impossible to have any fun. How can you? You’re too busy being upset, wishing you were somewhere else, or criticizing life.

I think that the best way out of the emergency lane is to see the humor in it. Try to think about how silly and futile it is to be upset so much of the time. The truth is, I am going to be criticized, and so are you. And we’re going to be cut off in traffic and we’re going to lose things and make mistakes and our plans are going to be jolted from time to time. But that’s life. When you make peace with the fact that life is okay just the way it is, you free yourself from a great deal of frustration.

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do our very best to make things work out the way we would like them to. We certainly should. Yet what’s the point in getting uptight and frustrated due to things you have no control over?

The point is, life is just one event after another. It’s never going to be perfect, and it’s never going to go as smoothly as any of us would like. The nice thing is, as soon as we make peace with these facts, we’ll be able to get on with our lives without stressing out over relatively minor things. I hope you’ll agree that the emergency lane should be reserved for broken-down autos and that the rest of the time we should steer clear!