I’ve been a San Francisco 49ers football fan for many years. And why not? After all, the 49ers were arguably the best team of the 1990s, winning several Super Bowls and always being competitive. But in 1999, it was a little tougher. The team lost twelve of its sixteen games! I learned that the measure of a good fan isn’t whether you can cheer for your team when it is on top—that’s easy. No, the true measure of a good fan is whether you can continue to root for your team when it’s down, or losing.
In the same way, it’s easy to root for popular people, those on top. Anyone can do that. It makes you feel like you fit in and are going along with the crowd. When you cheer for, are respectful of, and are nice to popular people, no one questions your motives. You don’t have to take a stand against anyone; nor do you risk your own popularity.
Indeed, the true measure of how kind you are as a human being isn’t whether you can be friendly to your existing friends and those who are already popular—that’s easy—but whether you can be nice to other people too.
It can be a little tougher to root for someone who isn’t as popular or someone who is a little different or who doesn’t have as many friends. To do so could mean that you’re breaking free from a group or risking disapproval from your existing friends. On a very superficial level, rooting for the underdog appears to be risky.
If you reflect for a moment, however, on the upside of rooting for the underdog, I think you’ll agree that the benefits far exceed the risks. Many teens have shared with me that reaching out to someone a little less popular, or new to their school or group of kids, had earned them the best friend they’ve ever had. In other words, the person they reached out to (the underdog) appreciated their effort and became a very loyal and trusted friend. The fact that people aren’t yet “popular” has nothing whatsoever to do with whether they are nice people who would make great friends.
When you reach out to someone, particularly someone who doesn’t have a million friends or who might be a little lonely, it demonstrates that you are a kind person who sees beyond what’s “in” at the moment. It’s a way of contributing to the world—making it just a little bit friendlier. Reaching out makes the other person feel good and does the same for you too. In my entire lifetime, I’ve never heard of anyone saying, “I’m really upset because I was nice to that person who needed someone to be nice to them.” On the other hand, hundreds of people have told me that being nice to people who need friends has brought them a great deal of personal joy and satisfaction.
Rooting for the underdog doesn’t mean you feel sorry for the person. It simply means that you recognize that the person hasn’t yet been blessed—as you already might have been—with the approval, acknowledgment, and friendship of others.
In no way am I suggesting that you stop being nice to popular people; you can do that too. I’m only suggesting that you open your heart and widen your circle to include others as well. In doing so, you’ll make those people happy, set an important example for others, and feel good about yourself. What a great way to make this world an even better place.