I thought the title of this strategy might get your attention! No one likes to be bored, and we live in a time when boredom is often seen as completely unacceptable. Most people can’t stand it—even for a moment. Something has to be going on, or turned on, or being planned. There must be some type of stimulus going on every waking moment. We’re spending time with someone else on the phone or on the Internet, or we’re watching television. Many people have cell phones so as not to lose touch while away from home, and radios in the shower so as not to experience silence. It seems to me that people often define a good life as being a series of stimulating activities, one right after another, with the goal of having as little space in between as possible.
Unfortunately, the only way out of this frenetic maze is to see it as a trap. There is nothing wrong with computers or cell phones, or television or beepers, or game machines or fax machines, or any of the rest of it. Yet if you are dependent on ongoing stimulation, you actually set yourself up to be bored a great deal of the time. Think about it for a moment. What happens to most people you know when there is nothing going on? Anxiety, boredom, or some degree of lack of satisfaction? But the conclusion most people come to is that the solution is to be sure you never, ever, have nothing going on.
When you are overstimulated, your mind keeps looking for more, more, more. There is constant pressure to always be entertained and busy. The ante keeps rising so that it takes more and more to keep you satisfied.
Fifteen-year-old Robert started out with a video game he loved to play on his television set in his spare time. Pretty soon he needed more games; better ones with more action. When he’d mastered the games, he needed to have one with him all the time so he wouldn’t be bored. He was able to get a hand-held version, which solved his boredom for a very brief time. He learned to play it while at school in such a way that no one could see him doing it. Now he plays while the television is on, and his parents have trouble getting him to turn it off during dinner. He carries it with him on his way upstairs to use his computer, which he is on several hours a day, playing games and chatting with others. He loves the phone too, and stays in close touch with his buddies, who all do the same thing with their time.
At some point Robert started getting into trouble because he thought it was fun. It was stimulating. He needed more action, more things to do. If Robert was alone on a beach, he wouldn’t know what to do. He’d be bored stiff. If he was sitting next to a running river, he’d be bored too. His inner creativity had disappeared, replaced by an obsession with outer activities.
I’m not bashing or blaming technology. I’m only suggesting that when you decide that it’s okay if something isn’t going on all the time, you train your mind to be more easily satisfied, which always translates into happiness and joy. Very quickly, you’ll learn to feel more peaceful. When you’re peaceful, you can have fun on a computer, at an amusement park, or while you’re all alone, sitting on a bench. You’ll be free.
Practice having a little space in between activities. If you can learn to sit still with nothing going on, even for a few minutes at a time, you’ll be way ahead of the game. You’ll not only become happier, but you’ll actually enjoy the things you already spend time doing much more. You’ll feel a sense of relief, as if you’re off the hook.
Making peace with boredom doesn’t mean you stop doing things or that you seek out boredom. It also doesn’t mean you stop achieving or winning. It simply means that you become comfortable with a little space and a little silence.