It has been long recognized that there is tremendous value in putting your thoughts on paper. Whether it’s a formal journal or diary, or simply random thoughts on scraps of paper, the act of writing (or typing, I suppose) is a healthy and harmless way to sort through, ponder, reflect upon, or express your feelings.
Once, when I was thirteen years old, I was furious at someone whom I discovered was talking behind my back. I was about to confront him when my mother gave me an alternate suggestion. She said, “Why don’t you write a letter and really let him have it?” “Really?” I answered. “Sure,” my mom said, “but don’t send it. Write down exactly how you feel, then throw it away.” I remember thinking “Yeah, right,” but I agreed to give it a try.
The weird thing was, she was right on the mark! The simple act of writing down my feelings got them off my chest—and allowed me to let go of them. Even as I threw the letter in the trash, I felt loads better. There was no need to take the next step and actually send it; writing it was enough. The same principle applies to a diary or journal—write down your feelings and, surprisingly, you’ll feel more peaceful or more complete a good percentage of the time. I’m not exactly sure why it works—it just does.
An even more powerful application of this idea is to write down your positive feelings. A popular thing to do is to keep a “gratitude journal,” focusing on all that’s right with your life. The reason this is so helpful is that it keeps your mind geared toward the positive aspects of life and reminds you that, although life can be difficult, there is indeed plenty to be grateful for.
In Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff . . . and It’s All Small Stuff, I made the simple suggestion to write a heartfelt letter once a week. I said that it wasn’t so important to whom the letter was written—only the fact that it was written. The idea was to focus on something really positive about the person and to let him or her know of your gratitude and other feelings. You can write to someone you know—a relative, friend, teacher, or neighbor—or to someone you don’t know but do admire or respect.
The response I’ve received from teens has been overwhelmingly positive. Teenagers from around the world have written to me telling me how helpful this idea has been. (A good number even wrote their first letter to me.) Many said it pulled them out of a funk or a bad mood; almost all said it had become a welcome and regular part of their lives that made them feel better virtually all the time. The act of putting down positive feelings on paper and sending them to someone has made a world of difference. If you think about it, give it a try. You too may be surprised at how good it can make you feel.