30
BECOME 25 PERCENT
LESS CRITICAL

This is a helpful strategy for two reasons. First, virtually anyone can become 25 percent less critical if he sets his mind to it. And second, with each lessening of criticism, you’ll experience a corresponding increase in your own level of satisfaction. You’ll also find yourself being more open-minded, and your learning curve will sharpen. You’ll be more fun to be around too.

As you embark on this strategy, be prepared to be a little shocked. You’re likely to discover that you and your friends expend a huge amount of energy on criticism. Most of us find ways to be critical of practically everything. We’re critical of the world, politics, people who see things differently from the way we do, those who look different, act different, and so forth. We’re often critical of our family members, our school and teachers, people who do well in life as well as those who struggle.

The way to go about becoming less critical is very straightforward. You simply begin paying attention to what you think and talk about, particularly when you are being critical. As I said, at first it’s a real eye-opener. Thirteen-year-old John may have said it best: “It was weird. I found myself being critical of other people who were being critical.” I have to admit that I’ve done this too.

That’s pretty much all you have to do; the rest will take care of itself. You may start saying things to yourself like, “Wow, I’m critical a lot of the time—maybe I could be less so,” or something like that. You’ll begin catching yourself when you’re being too critical—and dropping the criticism. You can even think of it as a game you play with yourself. When your mind drifts toward inappropriate, unnecessary, or unfair criticism, you simply dismiss it before it has a chance to develop.

This has nothing to do with letting go of appropriate criticism, because certainly there are many times when it’s important or appropriate to be critical. However, I’m referring to the habitual, mean-spirited, or simply knee-jerk types of criticism that usually stem from gossip, or habit, or simply from a dose of too much negativity.

A vast majority of teens whom I’ve asked to try this have said that, since being less critical, they like themselves much more than before. My guess is that you’ll find this strategy eye-opening. But whatever you do, don’t be too hard on yourself. What’s the sense of being critical about your own tendency to be critical? Keep in mind that you’re doing something about it.