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ALLOW A NEW IDEA
TO COME TO YOU

Have you ever noticed how tempting it is, when you’re uncertain about something, to struggle with or get “stuck” in your thinking and to try even harder? Or to force your thoughts or think too hard? If so, you’re not alone. It’s a universal problem.

I like this strategy because it’s one where the idea is to try less, not more! In fact, the less effort, the better.

All of us have within ourselves a great deal of wisdom, something you might call innate mental health. Unfortunately, however, this inner wisdom is often interfered with by all the confusing and conflicting thoughts, ideas, plans, and fears that fill our minds. Yet just as the sun is still up in the sky even when all you see are clouds, your wisdom is in there somewhere, waiting for you to call on it.

Wisdom is best called upon for issues pertaining to the heart—for example, when you need to know how to mend a relationship, get along better with your parents or siblings, help a friend who is struggling, move forward after making a mistake, make a difficult decision—or when you can’t figure out what to do next. These types of issues, and others like them, require not a brilliant intellect but a sense of softness, a clear mind, and plenty of wisdom.

The next time you need help with a matter of the heart, try something a little different. Rather than sorting through the pros and cons, filling your mind with facts, and going back and forth with your thinking, over and over again, allow your thoughts to settle. You might imagine your mind to be one of those toys filled with water and fake snowflakes. When you shake it up, there is snow everywhere and plenty of confusion, but when you allow it to be still, the snow settles calmly to the ground. In a similar way, you can relax your mind, let your thoughts go, and allow them to be calm. Then, with a clear mind, tell yourself that you need a wise and appropriate answer to your problem, issue, or dilemma. Then, again, clear your mind and let go of your thoughts. For a few minutes, don’t even concern yourself with the outcome.

What sometimes happens is quite fascinating. Instead of your having to actively pursue your best ideas by trying to come up with them, instead, new ideas will begin to come to you, as if from out of the blue. Rather than actively thinking, forcing, or struggling, you are simply allowing the ideas to percolate and surface on their own. The entire process may take only a few minutes, sometimes a bit longer. Other times nothing will come to you right away, but later, when you least expect it, an answer will pop into your mind.

The reason this works so well is that you’ve already stored the facts in your mind. The answer is in there somewhere. All you’re doing now is allowing the answer a chance to surface!

A couple I knew many years ago had a seventeen-year-old daughter who was having a hard time. She was so caught up in the dramas of daily living, the confusion of not knowing what to do after high school, and the fear of leaving her friends that she had become unable to make virtually any decisions regarding her future. Her parents, instructors, counselor—even her friends—had all encouraged her to “think it through,” “figure it out,” and so forth. The problem was, the more she thought about it, the more confused and frightened she became.

After hearing about this simple idea and experimenting with it themselves, her parents gently suggested she give this a try. All they said was, “Forget about making decisions for a while. Something will come to you when you least expect it.”

To make a long story short, they were right. With the benefit of a clear mind, their daughter knew, within a few days, that what she really wanted to do was attend a local community college. What was most interesting to her parents was both the certainty of her decision and the fact that she hadn’t even been actively considering attending college. She had discussed the possibility of modeling, acting school, and getting a job, but hadn’t considered or discussed college for more than a year. Yet, with a relaxed mind, her answer was easy and clear.

Some of your answers may be dramatic or surprising; others, very simple and ordinary. However, one thing is certain. If “figuring something out” is going to work, it usually does so pretty quickly. If that’s not working, you might want to experiment with this strategy; it may help you sort things out.