I’m thrilled at the number of people who have told me how much this suggestion has helped them. I’m confident that, once you see the logic behind it, it will seem as obvious to you as the need to eat or sleep! The problem is, before you convince yourself of the importance of getting ready early, you’ll see dozens of really good reasons why you “can’t.”
We live in busy times. Most of us feel that we’re too busy and stretched for time. When you ask teens and adults alike what their perceived sources of stress is, many will say, “Not enough time,” or, “I’m always in a hurry.”
Usually there are certain times of the day that are even crazier than the rest. In our family, for example, it’s the early morning. Although there are only four of us, it seems there are a hundred things to take care of and prepare for each and every day. If we’re rushed, it’s extremely stressful. If we’re not, it’s a nonissue.
It’s fascinating to see how the same number of activities is experienced very differently, depending on how much time we allow. I’m convinced that one of the reasons people feel in such an enormous hurry is that they fail to give themselves adequate time to get ready. For example, if it takes an hour to do everything they need to do, most people will give themselves a maximum of one hour in which to do it. Never more, often far less. So, if everything goes smoothly and there are no unexpected problems, hassles, phone calls, lost items, or other timeconsuming constraints, they will just make it if they hurry. The entire day is set up to be stressful, even if everything goes smoothly.
The nature of being in a hurry is stressful. You’re rushing around, wondering if you’ll make it and thinking about how busy you are. You might be thinking about what consequences there will be if you’re late, or who might be mad at you. This type of thinking is stressful. It’s also when you’re hurried that you’re most likely to misplace things, make mistakes, or forget something when you walk out the door. This too causes stress.
It’s interesting, however, to listen to the excuses of people when they are late. “I didn’t have enough time” is the number-one excuse. Number two is “I had too much to do.” Seldom do you hear the truth, which is “I didn’t give myself enough time.” See the difference? In one instance you see yourself as a victim of time. You’ll probably continue to do the same thing often because you see the problem as being out of your control. In the other instance, however, you see yourself as empowered, as having the capacity to give yourself additional time.
Sometimes we do allow ourselves enough time, but instead of getting all the way, 100 percent ready, we get what I like to call “almost ready.” Then, at the last minute, we scramble to do those remaining few things—make a lunch, find our books, shave, gather our stuff, search for our shoes, make that urgent phone call, or whatever. We scramble and we feel pressured. This feeling of pressure can affect our entire day, encouraging us to feel uptight and to sweat the small stuff.
Most of this time stress can be eliminated from your life forever. All it takes is your willingness to see that the problem is self-created. As hard as it is to admit, it’s usually not a lack of time that is the problem—instead, the problem is not giving yourself quite enough time. It’s not getting all the way ready early enough.
If you usually give yourself an hour, for example, to get ready to go somewhere, experiment with 50 percent more time, or in this example, an extra thirty minutes. (You can adjust as needed.) Notice the difference in the quality of your experience—the lack of feeling pressured and stressed. Notice how the identical routine, with the same number of things to do, feels less stressful. And be sure, while you’re at it, to get all the way ready (rather than almost ready) well before it’s time to go. It’s strange, but often as little as five or ten minutes can be the difference between a stressful day in which you’re constantly “catching up” and a peaceful day in which you have plenty of time.
You can apply the same logic to longer-term projects as well. There is something quite peaceful about doing a book report, for example, well before the actual due date instead of cramming the night before. Or sending a birthday card a week early instead of hoping it will arrive on time. The number of actual applications for this strategy are vast. However you choose to use it, I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me.