One of the secrets to staying calm and happy is to remain hopeful. And, without question, one of the best ways to remain hopeful is to see the possibilities.
It’s easy, of course, to lose hope and to be unable to see the possibilities. This happens whenever we get overly absorbed in the difficulties that we are facing and lose our perspective, when our optimism is overshadowed by fear. We forget how many times we’ve overcome obstacles in the past and just how resilient we really are.
The best way that I know of to see the possibilities—whether it’s the possibility of meeting a challenge, winning, achieving a goal, or overcoming a problem—is to think back on your life and remember how many times you’ve done it before. Think back to all the times you felt certain you wouldn’t be able to do something, yet, in the end, you succeeded. Remember how convinced you were that you’d never be able to figure out a math procedure, or meet any new friends, or survive your parents’ latest fight, or a consequence levied on you. Think about all the times you convinced yourself, “This challenge is different—I’ll never get through this one.”
Yet here you are. You’ve made it through every single challenge you’ve faced—and each one of them helped you become the person you are today. It’s pretty awesome when you think about it. And when you look at it like this, it’s illogical to think you can’t do it again—because you can!
Beth, a sixteen-year-old, had moved three times in three years. Just about the time she made some new friends, her dad would be transferred again and that would be that! With barely any notice, she would be in a new town, at a new school, not knowing a single person.
It would have been really easy for her to give up and feel sorry for herself. Instead, she decided to stay focused on the possibilities and to always keep in mind that she had been able to meet new friends before.
She told me that this simple decision was the very thing that saved her. Rather than burying herself in her own misery and sadness, Beth kept her hope alive for meeting new friends. And guess what? She did. Each time she moved, her eyes and heart were open to meeting new people and her optimism led the way to new friends. Here’s the best part. When she looked back on those last three years, she wouldn’t have changed a thing. There wasn’t a single friend she would have missed along the way; her moves were worth it, the pain and all.
When you focus on possibilities instead of limitations, a whole new world will open up to you, a world of optimism and new opportunity. Because you will be less distracted by your worries and fear, it will be much easier to get through things, no matter how difficult. And, because your spirit will be filled with optimism, you’ll be happier each and every day.