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BE CAREFUL TO AVOID
THE “I’LL SHOW YOU” TRAP

A friend shared with me a story about a teen named Sean who was angry with his parents. He wanted to teach them a lesson or get back at them in some way. He thought the best way to do it would be to fail his math class. He felt this would “show them” because both of his parents were high school math teachers.

The problem was, he actually liked math and was really good at it.

My friend offered the following solution. She asked him, “Is it possible to go ahead and try hard in the class and then convince your school to give you two report cards—one with your real grade and one with an F? That way, you get it both ways—a good grade for yourself and a failed grade for your parents.”

Sean laughed so hard and thought it was such a great idea that he got the point.

The point, of course, is that all of us get frustrated. When we do, it’s tempting to become vindictive and fall into the “I’ll show you” trap. The problem is, it really is a trap because it’s self-destructive. It’s true that Sean would have shocked and disappointed his parents. Yet he, not his parents, was the one who ultimately would have had to pay the price. He would have created tons of catch-up work for himself and greatly reduced his long-term options for his life after high school.

All of us have made this mistake, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. I knew a young woman in high school who loved to sing. She wouldn’t be in the choir, however, because she was determined to “show her parents.” I’d bet any amount of money that today, looking back, she wishes she hadn’t been so stubborn.

I know it’s tough when you’re mad—it is for me too. It’s tempting to lash out and prove a point. Yet if you can take a step back and avoid this trap, you may be able to prevent your own goals and passions from being destroyed or adversely affected. You’ll actually get a ton of satisfaction in knowing that you’re too strong to fall for this one. You’ll get the last laugh after all.