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BE AWARE OF THE LAW
OF DIMINISHING RETURNS

The law of diminishing returns says that, while there are many great things in life, some of them have less and less value the more you do them. At some point, in fact, the value or benefit disappears and the activity begins to work against you.

Some obvious examples: It can be fun to stay up really late, but without some sleep, you become so tired that you ruin the experience. A chocolate sundae may be delicious, but eating three of them might make you sick. Having friends is one of the greatest gifts of life, but if you had a hundred good friends, you wouldn’t be able to keep track of them. It’s great to use the Internet, but what would happen to your life if you did nothing else?

One of my personal favorite examples is drinking coffee. I love to have a cup, maybe even two. But if I drink much more than that, I begin to feel agitated and hyper. Taken to an extreme, I’d become a nervous wreck.

You can extend the same idea to the mental aspects of life. It’s probably important, for example, that you’re able to identify flaws and weaknesses. Yet if you do this too much, that’s all you’ll see. You’ll end up disappointed, unhappy, and stressed out. But as soon as you’re able to identify a behavior as being subject to the law of diminishing returns, you can eliminate this problem because you’ll know better when to back off.

I was talking to a teen about this very issue regarding his parents. Specifically, he said, “I’ve learned that negotiating with my parents is a good thing to do. However, at some point, if I push too hard, it’s predictable that they will begin to feel badgered. They will then shut down and all my efforts begin to work against me.” He was learning the delicate art of knowing when to back off and soften. Without this skill, life with parents and everyone else becomes adversarial.

I try to use the same logic when parenting my kids. Obviously, I have to teach them certain things—but I also try to recognize when my good intentions become yet another lecture! Or, when a friend asks for advice, I try to know when enough is enough. It’s all about finding that line—knowing when to pursue something and when it’s time to relax about it or try something new. It’s also about knowing when something isn’t working well and perhaps when it’s time to try a new approach.

This understanding has been immensely helpful in my life and in the lives of many others. I hope you’ll give it some careful consideration, because it can assist you in preventing many of the most stress-creating habits in life.