If your goal was to create a ton of unnecessary stress for yourself, one of my suggestions would be for you to burn as many bridges as possible. Burning bridges is a phrase that means interacting with people so as to ensure that they won’t like you ever again and that they won’t want anything to do with you ever again. It’s like closing a door permanently.
A bridge represents a connection between you and the other side. If you burned a bridge, you would be eliminating a means of getting across. Likewise, when you burn a “human bridge,” you’re destroying your connection with another person, often forever.
There are many ways to burn bridges. One of the ways people do so happens when someone is mad at someone else. Rather than finding a constructive way to express that anger and work things out, a person overreacts and uses very strong, absolute statements: “I’ll never talk to you again,” “I’ve always hated you.” Sometimes, as you can imagine, they say something even worse. People also can burn bridges by doing mean-spirited things to others and then compound the problem by failing to apologize. Whenever you wound people, offend them significantly, or seriously question their honor, you’re risking the possibility of burning a bridge.
If you’re aware of the importance of not burning bridges, you’re more likely to avoid doing so. This awareness can help you bite your tongue when you might want to scream or overreact—and it can help you keep things in perspective when you’re about to blow something way out of proportion. It also can help you walk away when you feel like fighting, or come up with a more creative way to get something off your chest.
One of my personal goals is to never burn any bridges. However, like everyone else, there have been times when I have been tremendously angry with someone. On more than one occasion I’ve written a very harsh letter to someone, expressing exactly how I feel. But rather than sending the letter, which probably would have burned a bridge, I’ve thrown the letter away. Then, after cooling down, I would either discuss the problem with or write the person again, this time using better judgment. The only thing that prevented me from burning the bridge was my awareness that burning bridges is generally a bad idea and a destructive thing to do. In fact, I can’t think of anything good that could possibly come about as a result of a burned bridge.
The good news is, it’s usually possible to restore a burned bridge with genuine humility. The key is to be willing to be the first one to act loving or to reach out. A sincere apology is a very powerful remedy and has a way of bridging the gap between even the most damaged “bridges.” So, while it’s never a good idea to burn a bridge and it’s a good idea to try to never do so, if you do “start a fire,” there’s always the possibility to restore the connection.