How often do you feel misunderstood, or as if someone isn’t giving you the benefit of the doubt? Most teens I’ve asked tell me it happens all the time. We do something and someone takes it wrong. Or we feel like someone is being too hard on us, or too judgmental. Sometimes we do something wrong or mean, but we didn’t really mean it. Other times we’re exhausted and don’t respond in a friendly enough way or with enough gratitude or patience. Or we’re in a really bad mood and we overreact to someone. Have you ever been in an enormous hurry, running really late, and cut in front of someone? Have you ever said to yourself, “That wasn’t really me?” or, “I don’t know what got into me?” Don’t you wish that people would understand that, despite your occasional mistake or mess-up, you don’t mean any harm? Don’t you wish people would see you as you really are—innocent?
When you’re dealing with people, whether you know them or not, it’s often easier to see the guilt instead of the innocence. On the surface, people are doing all sorts of things that could either offend or irritate us. After all, people make mistakes, cut you off on the highway, use bad judgment, say the wrong thing, forget to express gratitude, blow smoke in your face, spill things, fail to apologize, make too much noise, act weird, and dozens of other things. Everywhere you look, people are being all too human!
Seeing the innocence in people is a very freeing experience. It helps to transform you from a person who is irritated, frustrated, or bothered by others to a person who is rarely stressed out. It really helps you to stop sweating the small stuff!
Seeing the innocence doesn’t mean you excuse all negative behavior or allow people to take advantage of you. Rather, it means you cut people some slack and allow them to be human. It involves acknowledging the fact that, like you, a vast majority of the time people aren’t out to ruin your day or frustrate you. Instead, they are doing the best they can to make it through their own day. They might be having a tough day, or be in an enormous hurry, or in a horrible mood, or be dealing with a crisis. Who knows? As in your case—and in mine—there is usually a good reason why people are acting the way they are.
Looking for the innocence in the behavior of others is a huge relief. Instead of reacting so harshly or abruptly to events, you’ll be able to keep things in their proper perspective, maintain a sense of humor, and not allow so many things to adversely affect your day.