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DON’T EXAGGERATE YOUR TROUBLES

This is a hard strategy to write about because all of us—including me—believe that our troubles are significant. If we didn’t, they wouldn’t bother us so much.

I’ve noticed, however, that many people tend to exaggerate their troubles and the hassles they must deal with. The problem with doing so is that it encourages you to sweat the small stuff and to imagine that your life is even harder than it actually is. This prophecy becomes self-fulfilling, encouraging you to focus on the difficult and negative aspects of your life.

The tendency to exaggerate your troubles comes out in many ways. People will say things like, “I work fourteen hours a day,” or, “I have five hours a night of homework.” The truth might be more like ten hours a day or three hours of homework. Still a lot of work, but not quite as bad as someone can make it out to be. The problem here is that if you convince yourself you work even more hours than you actually do, you’ll start to believe you have no time and that you’re exhausted. Your imagined frustration will feed on itself, and you’ll become more irritable and less patient, thus causing you to become even more stressed out.

Thirteen-year-old Stephen claimed that he had “no friends” and that “everyone at school hated him.” That was the exaggerated version of the truth. The actual truth was that he only had a few friends and that he wanted more. Further, he had been teased at school by a few bullies and had interpreted that to mean that “everyone hated him.” In truth, the bullies were selfish and self-centered jerks who teased anyone who couldn’t defend themselves against them.

I certainly wouldn’t deny that Stephen was having a hard time. Yet his gross exaggeration of his problems made it seem to him that his life was falling apart. It wasn’t. He simply needed to keep his problems in perspective and try to find more like-minded friends.

It’s hard to admit to yourself that you might be exaggerating your troubles. Yet if it’s true that you are doing so, and if you can face the truth, you’ll be rewarded with less stress and a happier life.