I love this strategy and try to remember to apply it every time I feel myself getting too uptight or stressed out. It’s certainly not scientific, but it seems to work pretty well. It’s based on the assumption that not all, but many, of the things we treat as a really big deal aren’t quite as important as we make them out to be. This is a simple way to stop sweating the small stuff!
Since I travel a great deal, I’ve learned a few packing tricks, especially pertaining to my tendency to overpack. Essentially, the key is to pack as little as you think you can possibly get away with. Then close your suitcase and walk away. A little while later, open the suitcase and remove exactly half of all that remains. I’m not exaggerating—half. I’ve found that if I do this, I usually still have more than I need on my trips. Most times we think we’re going to need far more than we actually do.
The 1–10 scale works with a similar perspective. The idea is that not always, but often, things aren’t as bad as we initially think they are. And if we remind ourselves of this, especially when we’re starting to get stressed out, often we can put things back into their relative scale of importance.
The 1–10 scale has to do with the relative significance you give to something that is bothering you. Suppose, for example, you’re annoyed that a friend forgot to do something she had promised. You feel a little hurt and bothered, and start to think about the other times she’s done the same thing. You feel yourself getting uptight.
Now is the time to apply the first phase of the 1–10 scale. Think about the issue and apply a number between one and ten, indicating how important you think it is. One would be very unimportant and ten would be monumental. For argument’s sake, suppose you choose #4. Now, for a few minutes, try to forget about it. Walk away and do something else.
Awhile later, think about the issue again and the number you applied to its importance. Now, just as you do with determining how much to pack in your suitcase, cut the number in half. In my experience, not all but most of the time you’re going to be right on the mark in terms of its actual importance. So, in our example here, you would apply a value of two to your friend messing up. And if something is a #2, it’s not worth losing any sleep over—or sweating!
After a while, this will become second nature. You’ll cut your initial assumption in half virtually without even thinking about it. More important, you’ll begin to believe that the lesser of the two assumptions is usually the correct one. What seems to happen is that you start to assume that blowing things out of proportion is a natural human tendency, and you begin to factor that assumption into your everyday reactions. As a result, you’ll become a little suspicious of your initial (over)reactions. So, rather than becoming so upset about things and remaining upset, you’ll start to assume that whatever it is you’re so upset about probably isn’t quite as bad as you’re making it out to be. Congratulations! You’re learning to stop sweating the small stuff.