If you look carefully at the people who tend to sweat the small stuff the most, you’ll find that most of them are, to one degree or another, pessimists. They are either convinced or at least expecting that things will turn out badly. They’re looking for “what’s wrong.” They are a little skeptical and cynical. When things do go wrong, they’ll say, “See, what did I tell you?”
If you think about it, the characteristics of a pessimist are very consistent with someone who would sweat the small stuff: picky, negative, easily upset and bothered by things, frustrated that life isn’t perfect, and often critical of people who are trying to do good in the world. Pessimists spend a good deal of energy complaining that life isn’t meeting their expectations.
Interestingly enough, pessimists usually don’t call themselves that. Instead, they will refer to themselves as “realists.” They will insist that the only reason they expect things to go wrong is that so much does go wrong in the world. They usually are very good at validating their beliefs with concrete evidence. Therefore, they will almost always call an optimist “unrealistic.”
It’s fascinating, however, to consider that optimists and pessimists live in the same world. So, the question becomes: “Who is right?” The answer, of course, is that both are right. It all depends on what you choose to focus on. You can focus on what’s right with the world: the good, the beauty, kindness, compassion, and thoughtfulness. You can notice the wonders of nature and the beauty around you. You can marvel at success, possibilities, miracles, and the gift of life itself. You can look at all that’s right.
Or you can focus on what’s wrong with the world: the ugliness and cruelty. You can complain about the jerks in the world, and, when you look at nature, you can see the litter and graffiti that exists. It’s all up to you.
Becoming more optimistic is a choice, plain and simple. You merely have to see what’s in it for you: happiness, less stress, better relationships, more gratitude, and more fun. The rest will take care of itself.
Don’t be concerned that being or becoming an optimist will make you unrealistic. That’s just a myth. Optimists acknowledge that there is plenty of pain and suffering in the world and that there are endless problems to overcome and deal with. In fact, because optimists are less bogged down by the negative events and conditions of the world, they end up doing more than pessimists to solve those problems. Rather than giving up or remaining hopeless, they know that their small acts of love make a big difference to the world they live in. So, remain optimistic. You’ll not only be sweating the small stuff less often in your life, but you’ll be making an important contribution as well.