I once asked a group of teens, “What is the most rewarding part of life?” The initial answers were things like being popular, being cool, having a boyfriend/girlfriend, fitting in, having fun, succeeding at something, winning, and looking good. Then a young woman at the back of room stood up and said, “To be honest, the most rewarding part of my life is when I remember to be kind.” She went on to tell two stories. The first was about a time when she had befriended a new student at school, and the second was when she was with her grandmother, holding her hand, as her grandmother died.
From the moment she told her stories, the emotions in the room went through some sort of almost magical transformation. It was as if everyone began to reexamine what the word “rewarding” really meant to them. The same people who, five minutes earlier, had said that “being popular” was the most rewarding part of their life, asked if they could share something different, something having to do with kindness. All the teens were able to remember a time when they were really kind to someone, and they all agreed that it had made them feel really good.
If you think about the times you’ve been extra kind to someone—very thoughtful, generous, respectful, or just plain old nice—you’ll probably be able to see the link between simple acts of kindness and a feeling of genuine satisfaction. In fact, chances are, many of your fondest memories will involve an act of kindness, either by you or by someone else.
This topic is a very important one to spend some time thinking about because most of us spend a huge percentage of our time, all throughout our lives, chasing things that we believe are going to make us happy—success, the ideal boyfriend or girlfriend, good looks, achievements—when in fact the one thing that brings us continual, guaranteed, ongoing satisfaction is old-fashioned kindness. And what’s more, being kind is simple, natural, effortless, and free.
It’s difficult to sweat the small stuff very often when you’re tuned into kindness because your mind is geared in such a positive direction. You’ll be easier on yourself, more patient, easier to get along with, and more optimistic. In addition, you’ll give people a break when they are less than perfect, and you’ll take yourself a little less seriously.
So whether you do nice things for people, act courteous, are compassionate, are polite, are grateful, or, I hope, all of the above, think kindness. Everyone around you will benefit, and the greatest reward will be yours.