One of my favorite quotes comes from the Reverend Henry Ward Beecher. He said, “A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs—jolted by every pebble in the road.” I love that quote because, in a way, it speaks to the essence of the don’t sweat philosophy. Most of us, at some time, take ourselves and our own personal dramas way too seriously. And when we do, the result is usually pain, fear, and frustration.
Whenever we get into our self-importance mode, we begin to believe that life is all about us. We believe that the things that happen are directed at us and against us. We take things personally. We think about ourselves and our problems too much and become too attached and invested in our opinions. We become totally stubborn, and we lose sight of our humanity and compassion. In a nutshell, we get too serious. All of this feeds into fear, selfishness, doubt, anger, frustration, anxiety, and unhappiness. Indeed, when you’re too serious, that’s when you sweat the small stuff!
What’s more, have you noticed how boring people are when they’re too serious and uptight? They’re no fun to be around—you feel their heaviness. Sometimes you want to scream out, “Lighten up already!” Do you want to become like that?
With a good sense of humor, our load is lightened. This is particularly true when some of that humor is directed at ourselves. When we can look in the mirror and see that we, too, are a little silly. Our quirks and the little things we attach significance to are just as ridiculous as those of the next person. The actress Ethel Barrymore said, “You grow up the day you have your first laugh—at yourself.”
While it’s easy to recognize when others are uptight and too serious, it’s much harder to see this in ourselves. I’m lucky in that I have two kids who remind me when I fall prey to this ridiculous habit. One will invariably say, “Dad, you’ve got that serious look again.” My older daughter, Jazzy, used to call me “a serious little man.”
It’s helpful to ask yourself: “Why do I take everything so seriously?” Having a good sense of humor and being able to laugh at yourself doesn’t mean you don’t care or that you don’t try hard. I’m passionate about many things, and I work as hard as anyone I know. I’m happy, however, because I have a good sense of humor. I don’t take myself too seriously. I know that a certain number of things are going to go wrong; they always do. Why should I be exempt from what happens to the rest of the world? I know that a certain percentage of people won’t like me or will criticize me. I factor that into my assumptions. I know that I will make a lot of mistakes. I don’t try to make mistakes, but it’s okay with me when I mess up—it means I’m human. I also know that others will make mistakes. I don’t always like it, but that’s just part of life too.
You have to admit that it’s a little funny when people get uptight about little stupid things. The advantage I have is that I think it’s funny when I do; I see myself as a character. If you can see the humor in life, you’re going to enjoy most of it. You’ll have more patience, acceptance, and perspective than most others. These feelings will enhance your joy and will keep you from burning out.
Humor is an interesting topic because, when you suggest to people that they take themselves less seriously, they often believe you are minimizing their troubles and frustrations. Of course, you are not. The truth is, we have many troubles, some of which are very serious. Life can be very hard and very painful. Yet a sense of humor helps us to keep those dramas in perspective. It makes life interesting and fun during easy times, and assists us when the going gets tough.
I hope in the midst of all the serious stuff around, you can maintain and develop a good sense of humor. It will serve you well.