94
REMEMBER THAT EVERYONE
HAS THE RIGHT TO BE HAPPY

Someone once asked me, “If you were to single out a phrase or saying that has helped you to keep your perspective during times you might otherwise be annoyed with others, what would it be?” The words that came out of my mouth were, “Everyone has the right to be happy.”

Think about it for a minute. Everyone wants to be happy—people you know and those you don’t; people you like as well as people you can’t stand. Good people, bad people—everyone wants to be happy and everyone, in his or her own way, is trying to be happy. Even people who do bad things often are doing those bad things in some weird attempt to make themselves happier. It’s just part of being human.

When you factor this knowledge into your life, it’s amazing what can happen to you. Rather than being upset or bothered by people when they say or do things that you wish they wouldn’t, you’re able to keep your perspective and sense of humor while remaining compassionate.

I asked Rachel, a sixteen-year-old, if she could apply this wisdom to her life. After only a few seconds of thought, it hit her. She said that a few days earlier she had become furious with a friend who was bragging about her new clothes and her boyfriend. She said that she hated it when people bragged or acted self-centered.

For the first time in her life, however, she could see what has happening in a new way. All of a sudden, she understood that her friend, like everyone else, acted this way simply because she wanted to be happy. For whatever reason, her friend felt that showing off or bragging made her feel better about herself. And although Rachel still felt she could “do without the attitude,” she did see the bigger picture. Despite how annoying it was, she could see the innocence in her friend’s behavior. Her anger softened, and she even smiled as she said to me, “Well, you know, she really does have the right to be happy. I don’t think that’s the best way to go about it—but she does have the right.”

While Rachel certainly would prefer that her friend would act differently, she did feel compassion for her friend for feeling the need to be that way. As you think about it, you’ll see that the same thing applies to practically anything else you’re feeling annoyed or bothered by. I’m certainly not suggesting that you excuse all negative behavior, but remembering that everyone has a right to be happy does provide a “mental shield” against taking things too seriously.

The next time someone does something that bugs you, rather than reacting as usual, see if you can remember that everyone has the right to be happy. You might find yourself free from irritation for the very first time.