Julia Smith pushed her way through the crowd of people gathering at the gate. At only 4’10”, her height proved problematic in these types of circumstances. Tenacity made up for her small stature though, and before long she reached the front of the roped off area where she could better view the arriving passengers. Dirk had provided few details of her charge. That didn’t surprise her in the least. What did surprise her was that he had taken such a rash step. She hoped the desperate man might move past his pain once and for all.
Evaluating each woman descending the train steps, she contemplated how best to vocalize the woman’s name over the boisterous crowd. She must time it perfectly, or she would be hoarse from the incessant repetition, like the magpie in the general store. A short, stout woman of thirty hobbled down the steps in front of her. Fitting Julia’s preconceived idea of Dirk’s correspondent, she yelled, “Mrs. Lewis”, but spun in surprise when an answer came from deep within the crowd to her left. She turned, peering anxiously at the myriad of flowing passengers to discover to whom the voice belonged. Crying out again, she aimed her voice and steps toward the suspected area. Rounding the corner she viewed a beautiful woman looking desperately around for the source of her name. Julia stopped, stunned. “Land sakes! This is going to be a problem!
Selena heard her name reverberating over the crowd, but for the life of her she could not see from whence it came. Pushing her way back toward the train, she saw a small woman staring up at her awkwardly.
”Excuse, me, are you Mrs. Smith?”
Julia, befuddled by the attractive woman standing before her, nodded briefly before remembering her manners. She stretched out her small hand in greeting. “Yes, yes, Julia Smith. Call me Julia.” Regaining her composure she continued, “How was your trip?”
“Agonizingly long, I’m afraid.”
“Well, stay close, and I will bustle us through this crowd in no time at all!” Julia was off without a moment to lose. Selena scurried after her, amazed that this woman’s short legs could move with such speed. True to her word, Julia maneuvered adroitly through the dispersing crowd until they reached a lanky boy standing by a wagon.
“I’m afraid you have yet another bumpy ride ahead of you until we reach our home.” Julia bobbed her head toward the indicated mode of transportation. “Johnnie, get us home.”
Selena’s head jerked up at the haunting connection to her past. She regained her composure quickly, but not before Julia noticed the agonizing pain that swept across the ivory skin. Acknowledging the boy with a weak smile, Selena accepted his hand as she lifted her aching body into the wooden wagon.
“Is the ride a long one?” Selena’s teeth chattered as the wagon rattled along the gravel road.
“All depends on your perspective,” Julia chuckled in spite of herself. “My neighbor and I both came across on the Oregon Trail, so we would have thought this a short, little jaunt. In reality it’ll take us half of an hour to reach our home. We live about five miles outside of Portland towards St. Helens.”
Too tired to say anything else, Selena smiled weakly and willed the time to move swiftly. She tried to focus on the landscape as they maneuvered the road. It seemed yet again to be paralleling a river, and she wondered if it was the same one that had mesmerized her from the train or the drearier version near the station. Fir trees covered the land here, so unlike the flat plains of Illinois. What a wilderness of beauty!
“Not long now,” Julia leaned forward from the back seat and pointed to a farmhouse sitting up a small embankment in the distance. The two story white house surrounded by fruit trees appealed to the weary traveler. The clapboard siding and black shutters reminded her of homes in the Midwest. As the horses turned up the meandering driveway, she took in the sloping front pasture which included a few grazing sheep and a dark red barn standing prominently to the left of the house.
“It’s beautiful,” Selena murmured.
“My husband worked hard to build up the farm; he’s gone now, but the boys and I manage.”
“I’m sorry,” Selena looked back at her hostess, scrutinizing the woman. Her darker complexion and slight accent insinuated a foreign background, but not recent. She looked to be in her forties given the streaks of gray running through her jet black hair, but her quick movements and spunky disposition belied her age. Selena found herself attracted to this woman’s spirited personality. Chattering relentlessly, Julia continued her description of the farm. Selena heard more information than her foggy mind could process, but nodded her head out of politeness.
“Johnnie, show her to her room.” Julia lumbered over the side of the wagon and marched toward the house. “Lie down for a spell if you wish. Dinner will be promptly at 6. My husband always liked to be timely, and frankly, it just rubbed off on me. Would you like me to call you around 5:30?”
“Yes, please. I’m afraid the lack of sleep on the train has muddled my mind. I hardly know the day of the week, never mind the time of day.”
Julia nodded and headed toward the back of the house while Johnnie hauled Selena’s luggage up the steep wooden staircase in front of her. She glanced over the banister into the adjoining room, taking in the simple features of the cozy home. Somewhere a clock ticked away the minutes with authority. Lifting her dress, she ascended the creaky stairs adeptly, highly experienced from her previous years of attic life. Ahead, Johnnie walked to the end of the hall and entered a room at the front of the house. Selena followed him into the prettiest room she had ever seen. White chiffon curtains encased the twin windows at the front where the sun now gleamed in welcomingly. A small, cedar trunk covered by a calico cushion rested underneath, inviting anyone to sit and enjoy the pasture outside. To her left, a massive bedframe stood like a throne draped in a quilt crafted in blue hues. Directly across the room, the owner had placed a bureau with a matching looking glass attached. To a woman accustomed to poverty, the overwhelming beauty brought tears to her eyes. She stood entranced.
“Everything alright?” Johnnie asked flushing with color.
“Yes, yes, it’s just lovely.”
Taking one more look at her teary eyes, Johnnie bumbled his way out of the room. Selena leaned her back upon the closed door scrambling to gather her feelings, but the battle proved fruitless. After years of living a bleak, colorless existence, the inviting warmth of the room released a torrent of pent-up emotion. The reaction surged against her stolid reserve until it crested the invisible barrier, and she wept. The tears streamed down her face. A dam had been released by the small gesture of hospitality, and she could not hold it back. Years of buried pain erupted into convulsing sobs. She sunk on the bed to muffle the sound and cried her exhausted body to sleep.
Hours later her eyes flickered open into a pitch dark room. Realizing that dinner had long since passed, she slipped out of her clothes, turned back the covers, and slid between the crisp cotton sheets. Exhaustion overtook her once again, and when she next awoke, sunshine flooded the room. Her aching stomach urged her to fill the empty void.
Dressing, Selena tidied her belongings and headed down the stairs trying desperately to deaden the moaning sounds from the old wood, but her precautions were needless. The kitchen revealed that the rest of the household had come and gone much earlier. Only Julia remained standing at a washtub full of bubbles.
“Morning Julia, I’m sorry for missing dinner last night. I’m afraid I slept right through…”
“Mercy’s sake, you startled me!” Julia spun from her post trailing a stream of bubbles across the floor behind her. “You’ve been so quiet, I forgot you were here!”
“I knew I was tired, but I had no idea that I could sleep that long.” Looking at the last remnants of breakfast strewn across the table, she added, “May I help you?”
“No, sit right down and get yourself a bite to eat. You must be starved.”
Nodding her head in agreement, Selena obeyed.
“I came upstairs to wake you. I called several times and even peeked in the room, but it was evident that you were asleep for the night. Now, help yourself to anything my boys left, and if that isn’t enough, I can fry you up a few eggs.”
Selena looked around at the tempting options and restrained the urge to shovel the food into her mouth like a beggar.
“Coffee?” Julia tipped the pot in her direction. As Selena nodded, her hostess added, “I was just ready to set myself down with a cup to charge me up for the day. Why don’t I join you, and we can get acquainted.”
Filling both mugs to the brim with the steaming black liquid, Julia sat down across from Selena and plopped her small frame into the chair with decisiveness. The older woman’s penetrating eyes sized up the newcomer before her: beautiful, but seemingly unaware of the fact; simply dressed, but neat; orderly; considerate; but shy, very shy; or perhaps, very good at play-acting. Suspicion overtook Julia’s lively mind, and she blurted out, "So, Selena, tell me what brings a beautiful girl like you half way across the country to marry a man she never met with nothing more to go on than a letter?”
Selena blinked as the forceful words hit her like a pail of cold water.
Watching the girl’s shocked response, Julia said, “Sorry, if I seem blunt, that’s just my way! Dirk’s like family to me, and I care for him and his son like they were my own. Just can’t bear to see him get hurt.”
Selena looked intently at Julia. How much could or should she share with this woman she barely knew? She wavered, struggling to overcome her private nature forged by the recluse existence of her past. Julia’s face betrayed her true feelings for this stranger, and Selena succumbed, anxious to unfold her life to the first person who cared enough to ask. She began hesitantly, but as she proceeded, the story flowed from her like the cascading river that guided her train to Oregon. When she finished, she felt a wave of relief flood through her body. The freedom that came from voicing her past surprised her with its palliative effect. Glancing up at her hostess, Selena noticed Julia completely unmoved, but the acceptance in her eyes told the young woman that she had been approved, at least for now.
“Well, that helps me put some pieces of the puzzle together. I appreciate your candid story. You’ll find most people out West have a story or two of tragedy interspersed throughout their lives, so you won’t find sympathy perhaps, but understanding for certain.”
“If you don’t mind, Julia, I’d prefer keeping this story between the two of us for as long as possible. I’ve lived a rather private life and would really rather keep my past to myself for now.”
“Does Dirk know?” Julia characteristically maneuvered past the present conversation and immediately to her concerns.
Selena shifted her eyes away from Julia’s probing ones and glanced uncomfortably down into her lap like a small child punished for a disobedient action. “No, he didn’t ask, and I didn’t tell.” Gaining courage, she raised her eyes and continued, “I really didn’t think that it pertained to my ability to care for his son. He made it evident that he wanted only a marriage of convenience, and as that met my needs, I …” Selena faltered in her defense and gave up her explanation with a shrug of her shoulders. “Do you think that I should have?”
Julia expelled a sigh of her own and blurted out, “Well, time will tell, I suppose.” Standing up briskly, Selena heard her mutter “So much for your well-intended logic, Dirk!”
“Julia, tell me about the little boy. Traveling on the train gave me plenty of time to think, and I realized how little information Mr. Johnson and I exchanged. It all happened so quickly.”
“Hmmph, if that’s not the truth! I just couldn’t believe the risk Dirk took in this whole process- so out of character for him. Guess that I am just a little peeved, nothing personal mind you, just in general; this could have been quite a disaster. Meeting you has made me…,” she wavered momentarily. “Well, I feel better about the whole idea.”
Julia persisted with her deep probing stare a moment longer, then giving a small nod of approval as if to convince herself, she continued, “But you asked about Wade,…” her face brightened with the thought, “…quite a cute little fellow. He’s tall for his age, has dark brown hair, much the color of yours actually, with eyes so black that you cannot tell the difference between his pupils and his eye color. Looks like Dirk, just a bundle of energy and cuteness. ‘Course, I favor boys; had my fill and like them. You know just what you get with a boy. No emotions or drama; just energy, dirt, and fun. Yup, he’s cute alright. Just turned two recently; took his time talking but now he adds a new list of words every time I see him. Just tried ‘butterfly’ yesterday, annunciating every syllable.” She chuckled again.
“Julia, when did you first meet Mr. Johnson?”
“My husband hired Dirk on as a farm boy to help with the chores and such, just shy of twelve years ago when he was sixteen and alone. Our boys were younger then, and Joe needed a few strong arms for the haying and cattle. Dirk moved up over the barn at first but became part of the family real quick. He’s smart. My husband required him to go back to school while he lived here, and that boy’s determination graduated him at the top of his class. His teacher recommended him as a writer to The Oregonian, our local newspaper. He advanced rapidly,” pride flowed with her words.
“Is that where he works now?” Selena asked. “I really know so little about him.”
Julia tried hard not to roll her eyes in response, but she had little hope that her frustration didn’t show.
“No, no. Dirk left that job over a year ago to look after his son. He went back to farming, but found it difficult to do everything. I guess that’s what prodded his advertisement for a wife.”
Selena struggled to find a discreet way to inquire about Wade’s mother. She hated to seem forward or too quizzical, but how could she not wonder? His wife’s death prompted his search for a new wife, for her. Try as she might to formulate the question, she felt invasive and regretfully put the request aside for another time.
Julia’s devotion for Dirk was evident. Selena’s respect for the older woman grew in leaps and bounds. Not having a family to love for many years made her appreciate this deep-rooted bond between two families not even related.
Selena spent the rest of the day helping Julia work around the farm: weeding, feeding chickens, peeling potatoes and the other numerous responsibilities that life demanded of a widowed mother of three boys. Being useful and busy bathed Selena’s nerves. Work she knew. Work focused her rambling mind.
Selena decided she would send word to Dirk to meet her on Saturday. She hoped to be rested by then and ready to discuss his proposal, but a sudden turn of events altered her plans sooner than expected.
Late that afternoon Julia’s oldest son, Jacob, pushed open the screen door. “Ma, I bumped into Dirk at Bale’s Hardware. I told him Selena arrived and that he should come over for dinner tonight. He’ll be here around six.” The message conveyed, Jacob headed back out to the barn, the screen door slamming behind him. Sheer panic washed over Selena’s face.
So, she was nervous. Julia suspected as much. “Selena, it looks like we have some company coming. Why don’t you head upstairs and get yourself ready? When you’re done, come on down, and you can help me finish setting the table.”
Trembling, Selena rushed upstairs to gather her courage and her comb. She switched into her one good dress, a light golden brown that enhanced her dark hair and green eyes. She yanked the comb through her curls and wondered frantically if she had done the right thing. Well, I really haven’t done anything, at least not yet anyway. I don’t have to marry him. Thankfully, Dirk had allowed for that stipulation in the contract, and the small coins in her purse assured her escape if necessary. But suppose he decided she was unacceptable? Could she face another disappointment in her life? She stared at her reflection in the mirror, her posture cowered from anxiety. Taking a deep breath, she forced her shoulders back. She descended the stairs minutes later, stalwartly determined to finish this chapter of her life.