Dirk maneuvered the team of horses up the driveway while Wade prattled endlessly by his side. Usually the boy’s lively words, mostly meaningless, distracted his thoughts, but tonight they wreaked havoc on his raw nerves. Jacob’s invitation to dinner this afternoon surprised him. He expected Mrs. Lewis to need several days to recover from her journey. She must be quite anxious to get settled. He wondered if life at the farm had already been too much for her. Julia could be brash and outspoken, but there was no one better under the sun. If Selena Lewis couldn’t live with Julia, then she was not the woman for him. He stomped the buckboard floor with conviction. He wouldn’t ask much in this marriage, but his wife’s acceptance of the only real family he had left was essential. He needed to determine this fact before his final verdict could or would be made. His decision in having Julia host this woman was not coincidental. Dirk relied on Julia’s intuition and insight heavily. He trusted her judgment implicitly. If Selena Lewis made it past Julia, he was quite certain all would be well.
A cloud of dust whipped into the air as Dirk swung the wagon around in front of the barn door. He pulled harder on the brake than necessary and locked the wheels. Hopping over the side agilely, he turned to help his son. He would take care of the horses first before heading up to the house.
The firm pounding on the door propagated a responding echo in Selena’s heart. Mercifully, the long skirt hid her quivering legs. As Julia trotted off to open the door, Selena remained in the kitchen, her ears straining to hear what her eyes could not see. Julia’s melodious laughter greeted her guests followed by a cheery response from the toddler. Selena pulled herself up emotionally and physically and approached the entryway. As she followed the voices into the hall, she saw Julia’s neck crooked back as she peered up at the man towering over her. Sensing Selena’s presence, Dirk turned from his conversation. His tall frame dwarfed the petite woman by his side. Jet black eyes scrutinized her from a rugged face already tan from the sun. Selena stopped abruptly while a sudden rush of color swept over her cheeks. She tried to gather her senses, but instead fumbled about, grasping for something intelligent to say. Thankfully, Julia took care of the introductions, and Selena, speechless, tipped her head in his direction. Why did his presence so unnerve me? What did I expect? Surely, someone much different. Old perhaps. Portly. Definitely unattractive. Why else would anyone be searching for a wife? But here before her stood a tall, handsome man; her mind reeled with questions. This she had not expected! She forced her eyes away from this enigma and turned her attention to the boy. He was adorable as predicted. She needed that distraction right now while she controlled her spiraling thoughts. Wade, capturing sight of this unknown guest, immediately turned his face into his father’s shoulder and hid.
Julia chuckled and said, “Well, when did Mr. Personality become so shy?”
A deep resonating voice acknowledged something about this new habit, but Selena barely heard the reply. There must be some mistake. What was wrong with this man? He could have had any girl in the county! Why would a man this handsome advertise for a wife, and even more so, for a wife without a picture? She excused herself to the kitchen to gain control. Surely, if something is wrong with this man, you have time to figure it out. Trying to calm her frantic heart, she dug down deep within, grasping for the same strength that allowed her to face the unthinkable ten years ago. She counseled herself into a clearer mindset and mentally imprisoned her fears to focus on the task at hand. Her breathing slowed down, her analytical mind engaged. To distract her thoughts, she made a mental list of items needing to be discussed over the next few days.
Julia noticed the difference when Selena returned to the room; she entered a new woman. A metamorphosis occurred in the kitchen. Perhaps not completely poised, a self-determined woman emerged, and Julia sighed with relief. Dirk wanted a self-confident woman, not a smitten school girl. Julia liked Selena, but this was a new side to her: the side that matched the rash letter, the side that drove a woman to leave everything to begin a new life out of the ashes of her past. Now that Julia understood Selena’s history, she liked her even more. Ushering the pair into the parlor, she left Selena to interact with Wade while she drew Dirk into the kitchen.
“This isn’t going to work, Julia. I am going to have to start all over again.” Dirk stated his mind immediately.
“Why, Dirk, you know nothing about her!” Julia responded, stalling for time. She’d foreseen this problem from the moment she met Selena at the train station.
“I see enough to know that she is not what I need!”
Julia’s quick mind calculated the best way to approach the determined man by her side. Her jaw protruded slightly to one side as she bit her bottom lip. Dirk was stubborn, produced from the many hard knocks throughout his lifetime. She had to approach this situation delicately. Appealing to his pragmatic side, she began, “Seems kind of prejudiced to judge a book by its cover. It doesn’t hurt to spend a few days evaluating the situation before pronouncing your final verdict. I mean, you’ve already spent the money on the ticket. Why don’t you take the time to talk with her? By so doing, you’ll be better prepared to rework your next advertisement to your specific desires.” Julia accentuated the word “desires”, but the specificity produced little effect on the man.
Smiling at the short bundle in front of him, he bent down and squeezed her. “Well, there’s some sense in that I guess. I feared things weren’t going well when I bumped into Jacob this morning.
“Oh, that!” Julia exclaimed relieved, “Jacob just took it into his own mind to get things moving, I guess. You should have seen the panic on Selena’s face this afternoon when she heard you were coming. Kind of comical actually,” Julia snickered.
Dirk’s smile broadened. He loved this lady like his own mother he lost so many years ago. These two selfless women impelled him to find such a mother for Wade. Their impact on his life influenced decisions he made every day. He had learned early on that life couldn’t be trusted; a man had to take matters into his own hands. He had to prepare for the possibility that Death’s greedy grip could snatch his life as well as those around him. As much as he would love Julia to take his child in such a circumstance, she had her hands full with her own boys. She would be a great resource for Wade, but his young son needed his own mother, a woman who could teach him integrity, perseverance, and hard work.
He brought his thoughts back to the present. “What’s your initial impression of her?”
“I like her,” Julia commented and then changed the subject before he could probe any further, “Come on; help me get this food on the table and let the inquisition begin.” Julia handed him the bowl of steaming potatoes she had scooped out of the pan and motioned him toward the table.
Dirk strolled into the room and glanced over to where his son sat curled up next to this stranger. That did not surprise him in the least. Wade loved everyone, but unbeknownst to most, his playful act of shyness proved a useful tool to trap his innocent prey. The more the victim tried to reach out and make the shy boy feel comfortable, the more the quarry fell directly into his son’s scheme. The prey now was at this little master’s beck and call. Dirk shook his head at his son’s conspiracy. He would have to work on this habit. It came so natural to the young lad that it worried his father slightly. He set the serving dish down upon the table and walked into the living room. Standing over the pair sitting on the couch, he towered above them, but when Selena rose to meet him, he realized how surprisingly tall she was.
“How was your journey out West, Mrs. Lewis?” Dirk tried the small talk that he abhorred.
“Call me Sellie. Everyone does.”
“Sellie?” Julia echoed from the dining room. “Who shortened a beautiful name like Selena to Sellie?”
Selena opened her mouth to say ‘Johnny’, but caught herself in time. This left an abrupt gap in the conversation that lingered in the air until Wade broke the awkward moment by stating his own version of the name, “Ellie”.
“Well, we’ll try for Sellie, but Wade may truncate the name into a version all his own. You can call me, Dirk.”
After the initial uneasiness, dinner went smoothly. Wade monopolized the attention of all at the table with his cute antics. He copied each of the older boys like a monkey Selena had once watched at a circus, but by the end of dinner, Wade’s chubby hands reached up to rub the clinging mashed potatoes into his sleepy eyes.
“Dirk, why don’t I just clean up Wade and put him down here for the night?” Julia said. “You could bunk in with the boys, allowing more time to visit with Selena.”
Dirk paused, longing for a way to procrastinate the impending decisions, but Julia’s idea appealed to his logical side. The dinner quelled some of his initial fears causing him to face his own original prejudices. Staying the night would allow him uninterrupted time to speak with Selena without the incessant interruptions of a two year old. He nodded his head, “Well, let Mrs. Lewis… Sellie,” he corrected himself, “and I clean up the kitchen while you put Wade down to bed. Plopping a small kiss on the top of his son’s brown head, he said, “Ra-ra will clean you up, while Papa helps Ellie with the dishes.”
Selena stared at the sentimentality demonstrated in front of her skeptically. Her father had never interacted with the love she just saw displayed. Her eyes swept to Julia’s face searching for some reaction that showed this to be a farce, some role acting for her sake, but Selena noticed nothing notable except admiration for the pair. Rising from the table, Selena excused herself into the kitchen to begin the formidable mountain of dishes. She was glad for the chance to channel her thoughts back into ordered submission before her helper arrived to assist her.
When Dirk entered the room with the first stack of plates, Selena had aligned her emotions in compliance to her will. She directed the conversation back to her journey. “You asked earlier about my trip. It was lovely. I’ve never seen such beautiful terrain. The Columbia River was breathtaking.”
“Did you see the mountain when you arrived in Portland?” Dirk asked.
Shaking her head, “No, I saw a massive waterfall though. It was so tall, I could only see the bottom from my side of the train, but I could hear passengers on the other side exclaiming over its height. It rained hard that day, but …”
“That’s why she couldn’t see the mountain,” Julia’s voice bellowed from the mud room.
Dirk smiled to himself and noticed that Selena responded in like manner. Julia’s inquisitive temperament evidently won over her sleuth eavesdropping. Gracefully, Selena continued on with her sentence “…the falls looked so powerful. What are they called?”
“Multnomah Falls. I haven’t traveled that way since I was small, but I’ve heard them mentioned as quite spectacular.”
“Oh, they were. Why would the rain have inhibited my view of the mountain?”
“Mt. Hood stands so tall that it remains covered with snow all year long. When the clouds surround the area, they shroud the mountain top from view. I live farther up the hillside and on a clear day you can see not only Mt. Hood but several other mountains as well, far in the distance. They say that one of the mountains lies more than 200 miles away.”
Selena paused at her task before looking up at Dirk, “You may not believe this, but I’d never even seen a mountain until the train reached the Rocky Mountains. I mean, I’ve seen pictures, you know, in books, but Illinois is flat, flat as a pancake. Not that it isn’t pretty,” she interjected, “but the trees here tower so high and are green and lush. Illinois is dry with lots of wheat as far as the eye can see…” Selena stopped, realizing she was prattling, but Dirk seemed not to notice. His mind dwelled elsewhere. A dark shadow passed over him. He looked up to find her staring at him intently. “I’m sorry; you said Illinois was flat. Please, continue.” Dirk said.
“Oh, I just stated how diverse the terrain seemed to be from one state to the other. I look forward to seeing that mountain one day when the sky is clear.”
Dirk tried to smile, but the deep-seated pain clothed him noticeably. They quietly continued their work in silence until Julia appeared. It took her only a few seconds to realize that a fog of gloom hung over the room. With her maternal nature, she immediately surmised the situation and set out to remedy it. “Dirk, if you plan on spending the night, why don’t I finish up here with Selena, and you can go bed down the horses. When you’re done, I should have the coffee brewing and a large slab of gingerbread waiting for you.” The motherly kindness and direction immediately focused Dirk, and he nodded and headed out the door bumping into Jacob who was just entering. Glad for some manly bonding time with this man who was like an older brother, the younger man turned back to join him. Jacob’s bellowing laughter, so replicative of his mother, flooded the house.
Turning towards Julia, Selena struggled with her thoughts. Should she bluntly ask Julia the reason Dirk advertised for a wife or mention the darkened mood that had just permeated their discussion?
But Julia tentatively broached the subject herself, “Looks like things got a bit quiet while I was gone.”
“Yes, I think I said something that bothered him, but frankly I don’t know what. We were speaking about mountains and then I mentioned the terrain and crops in Illinois, and well, something seemed to, perhaps, bring up a painful memory. At least that’s all that I can figure…” Selena’s sentence hung questioningly in the air.
“You’re probably right.” Julia acknowledged the statement but left the enlightenment undisclosed. “Like I said previously, Dirk’s had some tough times and sometimes they come flashing back. I’m sure as you spend time together, both of your stories will clarify your past and the painful memories that come with them. Dirk’s a good man; I can vouch for him.”
“Julia, I just need to ask, why…” but at that moment the door swung open, and Johnnie and Thomas barreled into the house with Dirk and Jacob right behind them.
“Boys, you grab your cake and scramble upstairs to finish your schoolwork.” Julia instructed.
“Mom, tomorrow’s Saturday,” Thomas groaned.
Not used to being wrong and caught in her error, Julia came back with a curt, “Do you think I don’t know that? I want you getting a head start on that paragraph for Mrs. Parker; Sunday might be busy.”
“What are we doing Sunday, Ma?” Jacob probed the suspected ploy on behalf of his younger brothers.
“If you don’t all skedaddle, it may be to paint the whole house! Shoo,” Thomas grasping his mother’s motives, got a goofy smirk on his face. Whispering something to his younger brother; the pair stampeded up the staircase like a herd of cattle. Jacob looked back at Dirk thoughtfully, and followed his brothers.
“Can boys not do anything quiet-like?” Julia sighed. “Now, you two set right down there on the couch, and I’ll go get the coffee and cake. Start a fire in the fireplace if you feel chilly.”
Glad for some menial task with which to keep busy, Dirk headed out the door to haul in some wood. In a few minutes he was back, his arms fully loaded. He kicked the open door closed with his foot. Trying to make conversation, he stated, “Would you believe, Julia chops all this wood herself? The boys fell the trees and cut them into lengths, but she finishes the job by chopping the pieces into firewood.” The pride he felt for this woman was evident.
As the fire sputtered to life, Dirk sat in the chair across from Selena. He watched as she played with the tassels of the pillow by her side, twirling the threads back and forth tightly between her fingers. Forthright, Dirk immediately came to the point, “Well, I wanted to discuss the logistics of my proposal and give you time to voice your own concerns. As we previously agreed, at any time over the next month if you have concerns, you may terminate the agreement. But moving forward, I wanted to let you know how I hope to proceed while we’re both making our final decisions. Julia graciously offered to extend you her hospitality for the next month while we continue to get to know each other. I hope this allows ample time for you to spend with Wade. Of course, it would be expected that you pitch in around the house to ease her load while you remain here.
Julia piped in from the kitchen, “Not to worry, it will just be a few chores!” Selena smiled and glanced up at Dirk cautiously. He shrugged and continued.
“If neither of us has concerns and things continue to progress, I’ll take you up to my place to see the farm.” Dirk pulled the pillow from behind his back and tossed it on the floor. Moving far back into the seat, he sat upright stiffly and said, “Wade’s mother passed away this past winter. I made it clear in my advertisement, but I wish to reiterate, I am looking for a mother only for my son. Of course, that requires a marriage. I want you to impact Wade’s life daily, but I want no misunderstanding in this arrangement.” Pausing momentarily he continued intently, “Frankly, Selena, you are not the type of person that I expected would answer my advertisement.” Selena’s eyes intensified their already locked position on Dirk’s face. “I am afraid that you,” he paused searching for a delicate way to proceed, “may regret your decision in the future, wishing for a different type of relationship, and I cannot take that risk with Wade’s future in mind.”
The room echoed with the silence that prevailed. Finally, Selena spoke. “You can be assured that if I decide to go forward with my decision to marry you, Dirk, I will be fully committed to that decision.” Selena’s frank and forthright response made Dirk divert his eyes away from her face; however, he was impressed by her display of strength and her passionate response.
“Good,” Dirk responded in like manner. “I like to know where I stand, and I see you do as well. Do you have any other questions?”
“What characteristics are important to you in a mother? I would like to know your expectations for me.”
He was taken back by the depth of her question. He thought briefly before continuing, “Personally, I think Julia epitomizes my idea of a great mother. Obviously, your temperament is different than hers, but she loves her children while still maintaining obedience and control.” Lifting his head toward the kitchen, “You hear that, Ra-ra?”
“I heard it, Dirk, but don’t think you’re getting a bigger piece of gingerbread, they’re already plated.”
Selena smiled before continuing pragmatically through her memorized list of questions, itemized during her long journey. “Do you have any neighbors near your home, or will I be isolated alone in the country?”
“Yes, I’ve one family within sight of my house. Laura and Chris have four girls. Nice family; Laura’s a gem and will enjoy having another woman nearby. There are a few other families down the hill but I haven’t taken the time to meet them all yet. Wade and I…haven’t lived there very long.”
Selena nodded her head in mock understanding.
Julia entered with the goodies, and the conversation veered from the future to the present and eventually turned into stories from the past. Selena’s eyes began to burn from her lingering lack of sleep. Finally, exhausted she excused herself for the night.
After Julia heard the bedroom door close upstairs, she searched Dirk’s face for some clue as to his decision. It remained stoic and unreadable. He smiled at her, “No decisions yet.” Standing up, he planted a quick peck on her head and left Julia to her own deductions.