The TV was on in my parent’s room when I walked in the house. I slowly closed the door behind me.
“You’re back already?”
I jumped at the sound of Axel’s voice behind me.
“What the fu—”
I slapped my hand over his mouth. “I don’t want Mom and Dad to know.” I paused. “Seriously.”
He nodded, and I moved my hand slowly away from his mouth, ready to slap it back if he started yelling again.
“Who did that to you?”
Axel was in protector mode. He reverted to it whenever I was hurt or being picked on. I prayed for patience. “Can you please find wherever Mom put the first aid stuff and meet me in my room?”
He narrowed his eyes at me. Yup. There was no way he’d let this one go, but he went in search of the kit anyway.
My shoulder was full on throbbing by the time I got upstairs. This night had been a disaster of epic proportions. If I could get into my room without Mom or Dad checking on me, I’d be happy. I couldn’t face telling them that come Monday, life would go back to status quo in Tessaland.
I crept up the stairs, desperately trying to remember if there were any squeaky boards.
“I’m home,” I said from my bedroom door.
The TV muted. “You’re early. How was the party?” Mom’s voice came from their room.
“Fine, but I’m pooped. Can we talk about it in the morning?” I held my breath as I waited for her to answer.
There was whispering back and forth as they debated. “Okay. Get some rest,” Mom said finally.
I breathed a sigh of relief when the TV’s sound came back on. I threw my belt and shoes in the closet. In the light I could see the blood staining my gloves. I chucked them in my trash.
What was I going to do now? I couldn’t lift my arm up to take off my dress.
Oh well. It was a nice dress while it lasted. I grabbed a pair of scissors from my desk. There was a soft knock on the door. I had a moment of panic before Axel opened it.
“Get in here, and help me,” I said.
He closed the door and dumped the first aid stuff on my bed. I handed him the scissors. “You’re going to have to cut the dress off me.”
I could feel his breath on my back. He was investigating my cut without touching it himself.
He sighed. “This looks really bad, Tess. You need stitches.”
“Don’t say stitches. That involves needles and I don’t do needles.” The thought of them made me queasy. “It doesn’t even really hurt. A few butterfly bandages will do. Just cut the strap and move the material away from it. Then pour a bunch of peroxide on it until it stops fizzing.”
“Yeah. Yeah. I’ll do it. But Mom’s going to find out in the morning and she’s going to say you need—”
“Don’t you dare say the ‘s’ word again. I really don’t need them. I’ve had cuts worse than this.”
“No. You haven’t,” he muttered. The scissors sliced through my strap. “Stay still. This is probably gonna burn like a motherfucker.”
He poured it down my shoulder, and tears filled my eyes. “Shit. Blow on it or something.”
“Seriously? I don’t want to get that close to it. It’s bubbling up like crazy.”
“I don’t care what you do. Just do something!” I dug my fingernails into my hands to take my mind off of it.
“Okay. Okay. Hang on.” He grabbed a book off my shelf and started fanning it.
It totally wasn’t helping. “The peroxide was a bad idea.”
“You know what a good idea is? The emergency room. In fact, it’s a fantastic idea.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’ll take hours. No way. I already said it twice, but I’ll say it again. I don’t need stitches. You can’t make me get them.”
“Fine. But you’re just being a stubborn baby.” He poured more peroxide on it.
“Fuck! That burns,” I said when I could get air enough to talk again.
“See. You’re such a baby.” Axel started digging through the clear plastic bin that had all the first aid supplies in it. He came back with a tube of antibiotic ointment.
He showed me the Q-tip in his hand. “Please. I want to touch that as much as you want me to.” He rubbed it on and put an extra-large bandage over the cuts. “So you going to tell me whose ass I need to kick?”
Nope. Not a chance in hell. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It definitely matters. No one hurts my sister and gets away with it.”
I wanted to cry and scream and hit something, but none of that would help me right now. “Can we talk about it tomorrow? Please. I’m hurting and tired and sad. Really, really sad.”
He stood there, staring at me for a while. “Okay,” he said finally. “We’ll talk tomorrow.” He handed me an ice pack.
“Thanks,” I whispered.
“Take care of your lip. Okay?”
I nodded.
When he left, I grabbed the scissors again, and cut down the front of my dress. It was one of the only dresses I actually liked. It was a damn shame to have to destroy it completely. Once it was off, I studied the material and saw four inch-long rips where my left shoulder blade was.
How did Dastien manage to do that with his bare hands?
I snorted. It didn’t matter how he’d done it, but it sure sucked that he had.
I threw it in the trash and grabbed a giant sleep shirt, slowly easing my arm into it. As I put peroxide and ointment on my bottom lip, my mind drifted back to Dastien. Something was off about him. Okay, so maybe the biting and scratching thing was it, but I couldn’t get over the fact that I didn’t get any visions when we kissed. And that connection. Intense didn’t even begin to cover it.
He was different from everyone else I’d ever met. And, even accidental biting aside, I was still drawn to him.
This was stupid. Why was I pining over some lame guy who I kissed and then who ran away? I couldn’t lose my shit over one kiss. Hopefully the cuts would be better in the morning, and I could forget this whole thing ever happened.
A shiver rushed down my spine. Something was watching me. Someone was waiting for me outside. Dad had put curtains up on Friday night, so no one could see in, not that anyone ventured down our road, but I couldn’t shake that feeling.
I slid the curtains silently along the rod and leaned close to the window and jumped back.
Oh crap.
A wolf was in my driveway. I stepped back toward the window to double check.
It was sitting there. Watching me with its golden eyes. I wanted to go out to it, but that was crazy. It was a wolf. A dangerous, wild, totally not-tame wolf. I threw the curtain closed and slid into bed.
It wasn’t until that moment, as I waited for sleep to come, that I realized how much I wanted friends. I liked to think I was fine alone, but sometimes being alone was flat out lonely. Axel was great, but he had his own life to live. With him gone soon, I was going to be the outcast again.
The wolf howled outside, and I wanted to howl with it.
***
“Tessa!” Mom was yelling through my bedroom door. “I know you went out last night, but you are not missing church!” The alarm clock glowed 9:45 AM in red.
I moaned, feeling more than a little groggy and nauseous. Probably from that stupid shot of tequila. “I’m not feeling so good.”
Mom opened the door and peeked through the crack. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.”
“I feel like shit on a stick.”
“Language!” She came over to my bed. “Did something happen to your lip?” She ran her cool hand against my forehead.
I tried to tune out all the thoughts she was having, but failed. Worried that I’d caught something. Worried that my father would get sick and have to miss work after only just starting. Then worried that I’d pass it along to my brother who had to leave soon.
The woman worried way too much.
“You’re burning up.” She hurried out of the room, and came back seconds later with a glass of orange juice and a couple Tylenol in her hand. “Sit up.”
I winced and grabbed at my left shoulder.
Mom’s eyes narrowed. “What’s wrong with your shoulder?”
“Nothing.”
“Take off your shirt.”
“Mom, it’s fine real—”
“Take off your shirt, Tessa. Or I will take it off for you.”
That was her patented you-better-do-what-I’m-telling-you voice. Once that showed up, there was no arguing with her.
I sucked in air as I slid my arm from my sleeve. I left the shirt dangling in front of me. It was too much work to take it off completely. My eyes watered as she pulled off the bandage. “Gentle please.”
She was going to flip out in three…two…
“Who did this to you?”
My cheeks heated.
“Was it someone at the party?”
“Please, don’t tell Dad.”
“God, Tessa. This looks bad. Your skin is so hot, which means it’s probably infected. Why didn’t you tell us last night?” She brushed her finger against the skin next to the wound, and I saw what her next move was going to be.
Yep. That’s what I thought. She was thinking about how to tell Dad. He was going to be extra pissed when he found out that someone from St. Ailbe’s—let alone his bosses second in command—had hurt me. And when I told him how the Cedar Ridge High kids wanted nothing to do with me now, he was going to flip. We moved all this way for nothing.
“Well, let’s get it cleaned.” She looked at my shoulder again and then back at me.
“I cleaned it last night.” Tears welled, but I wouldn’t let them fall. “The kit’s still on my desk.”
Somehow Mom taking care of my shoulder made it real. I had actually kissed Dastien last night. Thinking about him made me anxious to see him again. Which was beyond stupid. The guy was obviously dangerous.
“Turn around.” The second the peroxide filled cotton balls touched my shoulder I nearly threw up. Last night was nothing compared to today. Mom held my shoulder still when I tried to move away. The pain was enough to block out anything Mom was thinking. It was getting worse, not better.
“You need stitches.”
God. Not the stitches talk again. “Can’t we put the Band-Aids on it and see what happens in a day or two?”
“We’ll see.” The pain exploded, radiating across my back as she rubbed the Neosporin into the cuts and put on the band-aids. Gently, she helped me back into the shirt.
“Let’s see the lip.” She gave my lip the same treatment, going light on the Neosporin and leaving off the band-aid.
She sat down beside me on my bed and gave me that look, the one that said that if I even tried to lie I would be in serious trouble. “Did someone hurt you?”
“Please, Mom. Can we talk about it later?”
She pressed her lips together as she thought about it, and then finally sighed. “Fine. Go back to bed. I’ll come check on you in a bit.”
It was humiliating the way everything always went wrong for me. I lay back down and Mom tucked me in.
“We will talk about this after you get some rest.” She kissed my forehead and left my room.
The next time my eyes opened, the clock read 1:56 PM. Mom was back in my room, sitting on the bed with her hand to my forehead. A million of her unasked questions slammed into me. She wanted to know what happened, who did this, and why. But she was mostly worried about me and angry that someone had hurt me. Angry was the wrong word. She was furious.
“It’s really high,” she said to Dad who was standing over us. “Definitely over 100.”
He raked his fingers down his face, and then patted Mom on the back. “We’re going to take you to the hospital, Tess.”
Dad left my room, shutting the door quietly behind him. Mom grabbed a pair of jeans from my closet. I sat up and picked up my bra from on top of the comforter.
“Don’t worry about the bra. It’ll only make your shoulder worse.” She crossed her arms. “You ready to talk?”
I cleared my suddenly dry throat. “Not really.” I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready. It was too embarrassing. Only Tessa McCaide would have to get stitches because of a kiss.
“It was a boy at the party?”
God. She wasn’t going to let it go.
I nodded.
“He can’t get away with this. Tessa.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “Did he do anything else to you? Hurt you—”
My face burned. “Jeez, Mom. No. He kissed me and got a little carried away. I don’t know how he did that to my shoulder. He must have had something in his hand or I dunno…”
“Sweetie. They’re deep. There’s no way it wasn’t on purpose.” She sat back down on the bed, putting her face on my level, so that I was forced to look her in the eyes. “We’re going to have talk to your principal about this. Get a meeting with the boy’s parents. He could have really hurt you. What if he does this or something worse to another girl?”
The thought of Dastien with another girl made me monumentally pissed off. I tried to rein my anger in, but my shoulder burned, deeper into my arm and torso.
Somewhere underneath it I knew I was losing my mind over a boy who hurt me. “I don’t want to make a huge deal out of this. It’s fine. Really. It wasn’t even one of the guys from school.”
She crossed her arms. “If it wasn’t someone from school, then who was it?”
Perfect. She thought I was trying to lie to her. “Dastien,” I whispered. Saying his name felt equal parts relief and betrayal.
“Madre Santa. The teacher from St. Ailbe’s?” She sucked in her breath. “Teresa Elizabeth McCaide!”
And now she’d used my full name. Only I could manage to get in trouble for being hurt.
“I hope this doesn’t mean…” She paused for a second, and my heart started to pound. “We’re going to have to talk to Michael Dawson when we get back from the emergency room. This could be really bad, Tess.”
That was so not cool. “Mom. Seriously. It’s fine.”
“No. It’s really not. You’re a minor.”
“Only for like a few more weeks! And he’s only two years older than me. That’s like nothing. Let’s not make a national disaster out of this. He was really nice. I’m not even sure how it happened. He seemed pretty shocked. He apologized and everything.” I don’t know why I was defending him.
Mom sat there quietly, waiting for me to continue.
It wasn’t embarrassment anymore. I was mad. Furious even. Those people at the party had been flat out rude to me. For no reason. It wasn’t even something I could blame on my weirdness. I was physically hurt, bleeding, and they kicked me out. Not even an “are you okay” or “do you need some ice for that” before they shoved me out the door.
I willed myself not to cry. “I wanted to have friends and go to parties like everyone else. Not be Freaky Tessa who sits at home on the weekends reading books and watching TV with her parents. Begging her brother to hang out with her.”
Mom sat down next to me, holding my good side. “I know it’s hard, but you’re here for a reason. You have to have faith in God and in yourself. If there is anything I’m sure of, it’s that you’re meant to do something great with your gifts.”
I snorted. “Right. Because these ‘gifts’ are so useful for oh, I don’t know, nothing.”
She kissed my forehead, and her guilt surged through me before she could block it.
I felt like a real jerk for not being nicer about what she said. But I couldn’t get my hopes up that one day I’d find my curse was useful.
“This is my fault. I’ve kept you away from my side of the family for too long. You are meant for something.”
What the hell was she talking about?
“I have something to tell you later. First, let’s get you to the hospital.” She started for the door.
“Mom,” I called after her. “I’m sorry. Thank you for taking care of me.”
“Anything for my baby.”
I’d make it up to her. Tomorrow. When my shoulder wasn’t hurting so bad. Sliding on my sweatpants and flip-flops took all the energy I could muster.
I was so out of it that I nearly forgot my gloves. Number one place I didn’t want to have a vision: the emergency room. Talk about a minefield of pain and drama. I grabbed a pair of white cotton ones that stopped halfway to my elbow.
Axel was waiting with my parents at the door by the time I got down the stairs.
“Ready?” Dad’s arms were still folded in front of his chest. No hint of a smile on his face.
“Yeah, but I’m feeling a little—” Gray dots filled my vision. Then, there was nothing.