Larry was out of the tepee pissing before the sun came up.
“Goddamn, son. You gonna sleep all day?”
Jesse knotted up in his bedroll. “Hell, man, it’s dark out there.”
Under a marbled sky in a chilled morning mist, they gathered a mixed herd of Herefords and Brahmas and drove them into the pole-fenced arena that looked like it’d been there since 1896. Roxanne rode down from the barn trailing a string of horses to be worked and some for the guests who wanted to ride
Larry was a warm and generous host, just not long on formality. He’d ride over to the fence and shake hands, then go back to cuttin’ or turning back cattle for Jesse as they worked several horses.
Bowls of pasta, salads, beans, bread loaves, and rolls covered the big wooden table in the house. Out on the porch, a home-welded barbecue spewed plumes of chicken and beef-scented smoke rising to the rafters. Among the porch group scattered around tables, benches, and railings were the CEO of an airline sponsoring the event and his young son, neighbor ranchers, a veterinarian and his cowgirl wife, a TV star and his actress wife, two more actors, a lady country western star, and Bear and his wife Ruby. Digger and Brantley, unshaven Texas Rangers who’d stopped on their way back to Texas from a hunting trip, were tending the meat.
A galvanized tub filled with beer, soda pop, and ice stood against the wall. Larry fished out an armload of Coors and passed them around. Jesse and Larry greeted Bear and Ruby who jumped up and gave them each a hug, shining her smile on them.
Jesse was standing at the barbecue with Digger and Brantley when he heard the screen door behind him open and shut. He made the slightest movement with his head and turned. Then he turned back to the fire. His head snapped back to the door again. She was carrying a plate of food and looking for a place to sit. She wore Wranglers, boots, a good black hat, and a pale blue silk shirt, shy and tentative about the way it contacted her body. With the help of a light breeze it would touch her breasts, cling for a second, then flutter away. She focused on Bear and Ruby and walked toward them. Even in the smallest movement there was something hauntingly familiar about her and yet he knew he’d never seen her before, or anyone remotely like her.
She squeezed in next to Bear who was in an intense discussion with the airline executive, and balanced the plate on her knees. Bear stopped to introduce her with customary paternal pride. She smiled and nodded politely with genuine interest in whatever he was saying. As she turned toward Ruby to answer a question, she caught Jesse staring at her and smiled at him, then spoke to her mother.
He felt immediately clumsy but his eyes would not leave her. He took in every point of her. The face, the figure, the honey-colored hair, the way she was dressed. He could smell her from where he stood. He took it all in and stored it as quick and keen as lightning. Under the black brim of her hat, the smoky blue-gray eyes caught him again and for the briefest part of a second she smiled easily while turning from an inquiry by Rosie about the food to something Bear was saying about the upcoming event.
“Jesse!” It was coming from behind him and finally broke through his trance. He turned to see the unshaven, unbreakable jaw of Digger saying, “You want ribs, a burger, or ‘gospel bird’?”
“Gospel bird. Thanks.”
“Chicken?! You’re a Texan, aincha son? You need to eat beef. We’re in the cattle business in Texas. We don’t raise no damn chickens.”
“Tell you what. I’ll eat whatever you put on that plate.”
Jesse had turned back to what drew him like the moon draws tides. What was it that haunted him? Yes, he could see her mother’s smile and the cheekbones and that she got her tallness from Bear and the fineness from Ruby. But there was something in the way she moved.
He was depositing bones in a trash bag when Bear stood beside him popping a Coors. “Have you met my daughter Holly?”
“No, sir.”
They moved to where she stood in a circle. Bear put his arm around her and puffed up. “This is my daughter Holly Marie. Holly, this is Jesse Burrell. Larry says he’s a great horseman. Holly has just come in from New York. She’s been working back there as a fashion model. Holly wants to learn to ride a cutting horse.” It was something Bear had done ever since she was a child, get his children right out there. “Go and shake that hand. Look ’em straight in the eye.” Holly was used to it, but what was natural for Bear wasn’t always easy for her.
She took his hand in hers and held it warmly. Smiling the brood mare of all smiles, she looked into his eyes. “It’s an honor to meet you, Mr. Burrell.” She bowed slightly at the waist as a yogi or Buddhist might.
No one had ever said it’s an honor to meet you, Mr. Burrell. He felt his face flush and found it almost impossible to look at her directly. “Please, call me Jesse.” And in that instant he was seized by a fever of the flesh he had never in all his life experienced. How could such a thing happen? She was probably younger than Zack would be. But this was a feeling over which his mind had no power. She let loose a flight of elaborate bright balloons in his heart.
“Well, we’re gonna ride some more. Maybe rope a little bit. C’mon down to the arena, we’ll get you on a horse.”
It was ever so slight but her face pinked a little and she felt an agitation inside of her as the molecular structure of the space between a man and a woman was altered. She hesitated for a second then said, “Really?”
“Sure. Have you ridden at all?”
“As a girl in the Midwest, I used to ride hunters.”
Bear had gone back to discussing the event with a circle of supporters. Jesse and Holly started down the steps to the path that led to the arena. “I think riding the hunt seat is about the best foundation there is. Lot of cowboys are scared to death of a flat saddle. If you can ride that, you can ride anything.” He suddenly realized he was talking about three times more than he normally would and was sure he sounded stupid. Yet he couldn’t seem to stop his mouth. “I’ll tell you one thing. You look the part.”
She may not have been on a horse in a while, but it didn’t appear that way. She was tall and lean with the unflared hips of a teenage boy. She sat up straight but relaxed, an extravagant natural arch in her back lending an air of elegance. Jesse sat the big buckskin and trotted alongside giving small hints and elaborate praise as they went, his mind a chaotic blizzard of thought.
Holly knew well how to suppress nerves and function under stress while appearing cooler than a glacier. She tried to concentrate on what he was saying but found distraction in the easy rhythm of his flowing with the horse. And there were his hands. Large, longfingered, as articulate as a guitarist’s, the reins draped loosely between them, as he seemed to command the big horse easily by virtue of his will.
As she watched the horse move, an image came to her of the huge heart pumping within the vaulted cathedral of ribs between his knees and blood pulsing to muscles and sinews that articulated the legs and drove the hooves to imprint the earth.
His glances were quick, furtive, like a child hoarding contraband sweets. A pearlescent sheen appeared beneath the down along the pout of her upper lip and caused his tongue to moisten his own. He trotted close beside her feeling the warmer air. For an instant his knee brushed hers. They were both aware.
She had a light touch, a willingness to be soft. She was balanced and poised as they cantered a big circle around the arena. He showed her how to ride for the hard stops that were a big part of a cutting horse’s defensive maneuvers. Jesse said, “You wouldn’t be putting me on, would you? You look like a ringer to me.”
“It’s been more than fifteen years since I was on a horse.”
He shook his head. “Let’s get you in there and cut a cow.”
“You think so?”
“You’re ready.”
“Oh, my God. I can’t believe I’m going to do this.”
She rode into the herd with a white-knuckled grip on the saddle horn. Jesse said, “Relax, concentrate on the cattle and trust the horse.”
She did a helluva job for a first-timer, and delighted in Jesse’s praise. She could barely contain herself as she glanced toward the fence to see Bear and Ruby, beaming and Bear giving her a thumbs-up.
In high spirits, she extended her hand. “Thank you so much, Jesse. That’s the most fun I’ve had…” She puffed out her plump pink lips and blew away some tension as he took her hand and held it for what seemed a week. He was the first to let go. “That was just great,” she said. “Thank you so much.”
“You did a good job.”
“Well, thank you.” There was something unique about the way she said thank you, an uncommon dimension of sincere connection and appreciation. “Bear’s got a couple of horses at our house but he and my mom never seem to have time to ride lately. You got me started now. I’m going to have to go out there and get the old gray mare back to where she used to be.” Then she gave him a look he could have poured on his pancakes. It wasn’t playful and it wasn’t designed. It just was.
He felt that his life had just doubled in value. A bolt of fear shot through him. Then a part of him wished he hadn’t met this woman, that she hadn’t looked at him like that. Like what? Maybe there was no like that. Maybe he’d added that.
Larry called him. They were ready to rope. When Jesse got his horse backed into the box, Larry grinning across at him said, “You better catch. She’s watching.” The young longhorn fired out of the box and damn near outran them, but they cowboyed-up, caught the steer, and made a hell of a run out of it.
After a few runs, Bear called across the arena saying they had to get back to town. Larry and Jesse rode over to say goodbye. Bear said, “We’ve still got to play host to some of the celebrities and press at the hotel. Thanks for a great day. We’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
Holly reached her hand over the fence toward Jesse. “It was very nice to meet you. And thanks again for the lesson. That was so much fun.”
“Will you be at the rodeo tomorrow?”
“Oh, yes. Bear’s got me working. We’re doing a video on the whole thing. So I’m the official interviewer and camera operator. Maybe you’ll let me interview you?”
“I’m not real good at…”He saw a look of disappointment at the thought of him refusing and immediately said, “okay, why not. If I make a fool of myself, you can always cut it out, right?”
“I’m sure you won’t make a fool of yourself. Are you staying at the hotel?”
“Tomorrow. Gonna stay out here tonight.” He simply could not look at her.
Taking in the surrounding panorama, she said, “This is the most beautiful place.”
And all the more so because of you, he thought. “It is that,” was all he could say.
“Well, see you tomorrow then. Bye.” She smiled and the sun brightened. Then she turned and headed up the hill following Bear and Ruby. As he watched her go the tense bob of her buns pumping her arched back up the hill, the swagger of her arms, he suddenly realized what it was that haunted him. Though totally feminine, and Zack completely masculine, she moved like his son. That’s what it was. The thrusting bounce of his heels off the ground and the easy swing in his shoulders. The thought chilled him. He watched her all the way to their car, daring to wonder if she might look back. She did not. He was almost glad.