Michael   Morning.

Harvey   Good morning.

Michael   My name’s Michael. I just moved in to number forty-three.

Harvey   Way-ell, welcome to the neighbourhood, Michael.

Michael   Thank you; ’preciate that.

Harvey   Good to have you.

Michael   And sorry, your name is …?

Harvey   Thom. Thom Harvey.

Michael   Good to meet you, Thom.

Harvey   Settlin’ in okay?

Michael   Yes, sir. So far.

Harvey   You take care now.

Michael   Sorry, Thom?

Harvey   Yessir.

Michael   It’s not … Dr Harvey, is it, Dr Thomas Harvey?

Harvey  

Michael   Pathologist Dr Thomas Harvey?

Harvey   Can I help you with something?

Michael   Okay, full disclosure: my wife and I are science nuts and we would love to take you out for dinner some time.

Harvey   That right.

Michael   You like sushi?

Harvey   Sushi?

Michael   Raw fish. It’s a –

Harvey   I, uh, I know what kinda food sushi is.

Michael   We know a great place.

Harvey   You lemme think about it?

Michael   Absolutely.

Harvey   Good meetin’ you, Michael.

Michael   You’ll let me know.

Harvey   You bet.

Michael   Pleasure meeting you, sir.

Jon   Hello Henry, how are you this morning?

Henry   I can’t seem to find my cigarettes.

Jon   I thought you’d given up?

Henry   Oh.

Jon   You’re not allowed to smoke in here, anyway.

Henry   I was almost certain …

Jon   How did you sleep, Henry?

Henry   Tell you the truth, I didn’t stay awake to find out.

Jon   Henry, do you know who I am?

Henry   You’re not related to Janet Fletcher are you?

Jon   I am definitely not related to Janet Fletcher, no. But what if I told you my first name was Jon …?

Henry   Um …

Jon   Take your time.

Henry   Williams …?

Jon   (genuinely excited) Henry, you clever bugger, well done. And what do you think it is that I do, Henry? What’s my job?

Henry   Surgeon …?

Jon   Ooh, not quite, but you’re very close. I’m a doctor; a professor, Henry.

Henry   I’m sorry if I get a little mixed up.

Jon   It’s not a problem.

Henry   I have trouble remembering things, you see.

Jon   Henry, I wondered if I might be able to ask you a couple of questions?

Henry   Certainly.

Jon   Some of these questions might seem a bit bizarre, but bear with me, alright?

Henry   I will do my best.

Jon   I’d like you to count to twenty please, Henry.

Henry   Certainly. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven … eleven …

Jon   (beat) Henry?

Henry   I’m sorry?

Jon   Hello Henry, I’m Jon.

Henry   Hello Jon.

Jon   Henry, I was wondering if I might be able to ask you some questions?

Henry   I wonder if you might be able to help me find my wife? Her name is Margaret.

Jon   Henry –

Henry   I’m starting to worry about her …

Jon   Henry, I’m going to read you a series of numbers, out loud, and what I’d like you to do, Henry, is to repeat each one in turn back to me, alright?

Henry   Yes.

Jon   Alright, here we go. Four six nine.

Henry   Four six nine.

Jon   Eight two six five.

Henry   Eight two six five.

Jon   Brilliant. Here’s the next one: ten three five seven two.

Henry   Ten three five seven two.

Jon   Yes, Henry. Okay. Nine seven three ten one six.

Henry   Nine …

Jon   Would you like me to give you the number one more time?

Henry   I think so.

Jon   Nine seven three ten one six.

Henry   Nine seven three ten one … six.

Jon   Henry: really well done. How do we feel about one more?

Henry  

Jon   Henry?

Henry   I’m trying to think!

Jon   Alright, fair enough.

Henry, is everything alright?

Jon   Alright, I think we should call it a day. Henry: you’ve done brilliantly. Alright? Bloody brilliantly.

Henry   I’m worried about Margaret …

Martha   Greg?

Greg   Yes. Martha?

Martha   I’m so sorry I’m late.

Greg   Don’t worry about it.

Martha   I had a call from my son just as I was about to leave.

Greg   Nice coat.

Martha   Thank you.

Greg   Looks great on you.

Martha   Thank you.

Greg   Think you’ve got something in your –

Martha   Oh.

Greg   Fly or summin’.

Martha   Odd.

Greg   What conditioner d’you use?

Martha   Sorry?

Greg   Conditioner.

Martha   John Frieda?

Greg   Nice. Listen I hope you don’t mind standing?

Martha   It was like this last time I was here.

Greg   You’ve been here before?

Martha   With Patricia, Pat, yes.

Greg   Great place, right?

Martha   Mmm.

Greg   So thanks for meeting with me, Martha. Pat speaks very highly of you.

Martha   How do you know Patricia?

Greg   We were at law school together.

Martha   Yes.

Greg   Back in the day.

Martha   Right.

Greg   Pat’s so great.

Martha   She is.

Greg   We used to go out. Put that out there.

Martha   Oh, okay.

Greg   Those were fuckin’ wild days.

Martha   Really.

Greg   I fuckin’ love Pat. Mean she fuckin’, she was fuckin’. Up for it. D’you know what I mean? And I mean not in a slutty way or anything.

Martha   No.

Greg   Not in a slutty way At All. Mean that’s what I like about the whole bisexual movement. Mean I’m straight, don’t get me wrong. But. Honestly some of the nicest people I’ve spent time with often swing both ways.

Martha   Interesting.

Greg   So look, Martha, obviously I don’t need to tell you that anything you and I discuss this afternoon is –

Martha   No, of course, I understand.

Greg   It’s a juicy case, Martha, I’ll tell you that much. Married couple, mid-fifties, husband is on anti-depressants, has been for the best part of twenty years. It’s their thirtieth anniversary so they decide to go away. Only problem is, y’man’s medication has one particularly unfortunate side effect. Kills his libido, dead. Dick’s as limp as roadkill. Has been for best part of ten years. So he comes off.

Martha   Comes off the anti-depressants?

Greg   Comes off the anti-depressants so him and his wife can have a right good session, if y’see what I’m saying?

Martha   Loud and clear.

Greg   So off they go. They drive for I don’t even know what, four hundred miles, ’cross the country, and they stay in some remote bit of Scotland. At this point, y’man’s been off his medication for approximately a week.

Martha   A week?

Greg   A week. And as far as we know, so far no issues. After two days, he starts having trouble sleeping. On the third night, he wakes up, early hours of the morning, and stabs his wife of exactly thirty years eleven times. Next morning, he wakes up and he’s fucking horrified; devastated. Calls the police and says his wife’s been attacked.

Martha   Jesus.

Greg   He’s been on remand for six months since the arrest. Crucially, he has no memory whatsoever of the attack.

Martha   Wow.

Greg   So bringing it up to date, we’re looking to plead automatism and we’re after an expert witness to help us with an MRI, EEG and a full written assessment. So look –

Martha   I’m … I’m sorry but I don’t think I’m the right person for the job.

Greg   Oh no?

Martha   No, I’m sorry.

Greg   From what Pat tells me –

Martha   I – I suppose the problem is I disagree with the basic –

Greg   Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that?

Martha   I’m not sure that I could say with any great confidence that this man was any more or less in control of his actions than he ordinarily –

Greg   Let’s track this back for a moment.

Martha   If I could finish –

Greg   Course.

Martha   I don’t – I don’t necessarily agree with the legal view of responsibility.

Greg   Get you.

Martha   I’m sorry?

Greg   I’m windin’ you up.

Martha   Why would you do that?

Greg   Do what?

Martha   I thought we were having a serious conversation.

Greg   We are.

Martha   Then why are you making jokes?

Greg   Okay. Wow. Sorry, okay; my bad. Why don’t we

talk about fee?

Martha   I’m not interested in money –

Greg   You’re not?

Martha   I don’t want money.

Greg   D’you not believe in money either?

Martha   I’m – I’m sorry; I don’t know what Patricia told you –

Greg   Martha: calm it down. Just hear me out. That’s all I’m asking.

Martha   I understand that, but I don’t want to waste your time, that’s all.

Greg   Maybe we should head somewhere else?

Martha   What?

Greg   I know a great Mexican place literally hundred yards away.

Martha   I don’t want to eat Mexican food with you.

Greg   Why not?

Martha   Because I don’t want to.

Greg   It’s on the firm.

Martha   I’m not hungry.

Greg   Coffee then.

Martha   I find you strange and I don’t like the way you talk about Patricia.

Greg   What?

Martha   You’re strange, you’re weird – You touched my hair when I arrived which was a strange thing to do –

Greg   Martha, mate.

Martha   Please don’t touch me.

Greg   Martha – Martha – Seriously –

Martha   If you touch me again I’ll break your fingers. I’m serious, I’ll break your fingers and then I’ll walk off, I’ll walk off and no one will know it was me who did it.

Greg   Mate, fuck’s sake, calm it down.

Martha   No, you calm it down. Goodbye, Greg. I hope we never see each other again.

Greg   Jesus, what a cunt.

Harvey   Come again?

Michael   A road trip.

Harvey   Okay.

Michael   You and me. You and me, we go see Evelyn, and we show her the brain.

Harvey   Evelyn Einstein?

Michael   Evelyn Einstein.

Harvey   You wanna show –

Michael   I wanna show Evelyn Einstein the brain. I called her, Doc. I called her up and I told her ’bout you, ’bout the conversations you and I had been having, and she said, ‘Okay: tell me more.’ So I did, I said, I said, I said, ‘Look: it’s all bullshit. All of it. You wanna know the truth? Thomas Harvey is a decent guy. Now how do I know that? Because I met the guy and we ate sushi together, that’s how I know.’

Harvey   Michael –

Michael   I wanna write about the whole history. Not some shitty, tell-all bullshit piece o’ junk; we’re talking reportage, Doc.

Harvey   You curse too much.

Michael   I wanna write about family, about heritage; about science.

Harvey   You wanna innerview me?

Michael   In part, sure. I wan’ us to spend some time together. I wanna get to know you, Doc.

Harvey   What you see is what you get, Michael.

Michael   Bullshit.

Harvey   We oughta get you some soap.

Michael   Listen. I know you don’t like talkin’ about it, and I respect that. I do. But, okay, look, here’s the thing: next year is gonna be the fortieth anniversary of the professor’s death.

Harvey   (beat) Huh.

Michael   Y’see what I’m sayin’? It’s a great time, Doc.

Harvey   You spoke to Evelyn?

Michael   You better believe it.

Harvey   Called her up?

Michael   Called her up.

Harvey   She still livin’ in Albany?

Michael   Berkeley.

Harvey   Berkeley?

Michael   Exactly.

Harvey   Hell of a distance.

Michael   Exactly.

Harvey   Lotta gas.

Michael   Well –

Harvey   That’s some expenditure.

Michael   The magazine’ll cover it.

Harvey   The magazine …?

Michael   Sure. I gotta run it past my editor, but sure.

Harvey   Huh.

Michael   Y’see what I’m saying? Harper’s, Doc; we’re talking quality.

Harvey   Huh.

Michael   Listen, take some time to think about it.

Jon   Henry, I’d like to introduce you to someone. This is Sharon.

Henry   I’m not …

Sharon   Hello Henry.

Jon   Henry –

Henry   I’m sick of having this argument with myself.

Jon   Henry, Sharon works at Queen’s Square. In London.

Sharon   I’m a brain donation nurse.

Henry   I am sick and tired of having this same argument over and over –

Jon   Okay, Henry –

Henry   I am asking you to stay out of my way.

Jon   Understood.

Hello Henry. Henry, I’d like to introduce you to someone.

Sharon   Hello Henry, I’m Sharon.

Henry   We haven’t met before, have we?

Sharon   No.

Henry   I have trouble remembering things you see.

Sharon   I know. It’s why I wanted to come and speak to you.

Jon   You’re famous, Henry.

Henry   I’m …

Sharon   Neurological royalty.

Henry   No, I’m …

Sharon   You’re a very important person, Henry.

Jon   VIP.

Henry   I’m no good to anyone.

Jon   Don’t be ridiculous; we’d all be out of a job if it weren’t for you.

Sharon   Which is why I wanted to come and talk to you about tissue donation. Do you –

Henry   No, I’m no good to … I’m in the way. I’m in the way. I’m in the way.

Jon   Okay –

Henry   Where is she? WHERE IS SHE? You’re lying to me –

Jon   Nobody is –

Henry   You are lying to me, you are, you are lying, and you are –

Jon   Henry, I need you to try and –

Henry   Stay out of my way.

Jon   Understood.

Henry   Stay out of my way.

I’m going to kill myself I’m going to kill myself if I, if I …

Jon  

Henry   (to Sharon) Margaret.

Jon   Henry, this is Sharon.

Sharon   Hello Henry.

Henry   Hello my love …

Jon   No, Henry, this is Sharon.

Martha   Anthony?

Anthony   We met at a party. That’s the good thing about the first year of undergraduate study, you get to interact with students from other subjects. I went outside to have a cigarette. I asked her what her subject was and she said physics. She was quite drunk, we both were.

Martha   Anything else?

Anthony   I remember she told me her father had died when she was very young. He had a heart attack. She told me he used to read to her from The Time Machine. She said to me that she was obsessed with that book and that that was what drew her to physics. She committed to the idea that she could build a time machine and go back to him. And she loved Albert Einstein.

Martha   Did she?

Anthony   Oh yeah. She fell in love with him because of how he changed our understanding of time. Deborah told me that before Einstein, time seemed like a river, flowing in one direction; yesterday the past is upstream and we can never get back to it, and tomorrow is downstream and we’re constantly being swept along by the tide. But Einstein said no, it isn’t like that.

Martha   Anything else?

Anthony   I can remember our first night together.

Martha   You do?

Anthony   Oh yeah. I was sick. I’d had too much to drink. I threw up all over her bathroom. I blocked the sink. It was so embarrassing.

Martha   What did Deborah say?

Anthony   She … Do you know, I’m not quite sure.

Martha   Don’t worry.

Anthony   She made a pot of coffee, I remember that. The morning after. We ended up talking about Einstein. He died when he was seventy-six. I can’t remember what it was that killed him, but it had the most extraordinary name. She told me that the person who did the … I’m not sure what you call it? You examine the, to try and work out what the problems were …

Martha   Don’t worry.

Anthony   The bloke who did the thing on Einstein took his brain. And his eyes. And Einstein was cremated. He was cremated without his brain and without his eyes. Awful. The bloke was a lunatic; he threw himself off the Brooklyn Bridge. We’re only aware of a tiny amount of what’s happening was what she said.

Martha   What do you mean?

Anthony  

Martha   Anthony? Anthony.

Anthony   Yes.

Martha   Alright?

Anthony   I think so.

Martha   Anthony, I don’t know if I can help you, do you understand? You’re not going to see Deborah again. And I, I don’t know what to do with you. (Beat.) Maybe we ought to stop …

Anthony   Margaret, can I ask you a question?

Martha   Martha.

Anthony   What?

Martha   My name is Martha.

Anthony   What did I say?

Martha   Margaret.

Anthony   Have I told you about Deborah?

Martha   You have.

Anthony   Is she on her way, do you think?

Martha   No.

Anthony   I’m starting to get a bit worried about her.

Martha   I know.

Anthony   Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world – do you know who said that?

Martha   Who?

Harvey   It’s a real honour to make your acquaintance.

Evelyn   Well aren’t you a peach. Evelyn; it’s a pleasure. Get you fellas something to drink?

Evelyn   Then let’s talk brains.

Harvey   You bet. Well. I brought some photographs with me, if you would like to see some of those.

Evelyn   Alright.

Harvey   (shows Evelyn photographs) The majority of these were taken way back when – 1955. We took over two hundred photographs of the professor’s brain. From a variety of different angles, different aspects. That one right there (photograph) is the olfactory nerve, I believe.

Evelyn   You performed the whole autopsy single-handedly, Dr Harvey, correct?

Harvey   You bet.

Evelyn   May I see it?

Harvey   Yes ma’am.

Evelyn   What was that like?

Harvey   Humbling.

Evelyn   Albie loved goose.

Harvey   Is that right?

Evelyn   He loved the fat of the goose. He loved fat. Whenever we ate ham, he would cut off the fat and fry it.

Harvey   Coupla weeks before he died, professor came to see us. His, uh, his cholesterol was through the roof.

Evelyn   He was a real drinker too.

Harvey   Huh.

Evelyn   Cheese, and wine, you name it … You weigh the brain?

Harvey   You bet.

Evelyn   How much’d it weigh?

Harvey   Just over two and half pounds.

Evelyn   That it?

Harvey   That’s a pretty normal weight for a brain.

Evelyn   Oh yeah?

Harvey   You bet.

Evelyn   May I see it?

Harvey   Absolutely.

Careful now.

Those are, I believe, from the professor’s hippocampus. We attribute short- and long-term memory to this particular region of the brain.

Ma’am?

Evelyn   No thank you.

Dr Harvey, may I share something with you?

Harvey   Please. And call me Thom.

Evelyn   Two months ago now, I had a telephone call from a gentleman working on a book. About Albie. The gentleman, a fella named Brian Schulman, put it to me that I had not been told the whole truth about my lineage. He put it to me that the man I thought to be my father, Hans Albert, was in fact my brother. The theory goes, when Albie was sixty-two, he had an affair with a ballet dancer. When he was alive, Albie’s executor did everything he could to keep my … father’s indiscretions well and truly buried. But as soon as he died, Thom … Well, you get the picture. Dr Harvey, I wonder if you might be kind enough to bring your research to a close? I fear there is nothing whatsoever remarkable about Albie’s brain. But, more importantly, I would greatly appreciate it if you would be so kind as to return the brain. To me. In its entirety.

Harvey   I, uh … I’m sorry, I’m, I’m not quite sure I … quite …

Evelyn   My hope is that the brain can be used to perform a DNA test. I hope you will understand.

Harvey   I can … I can certainly give you a portion of the … But I’m, I’m sorry, there is still a great deal of work still to be done, that needs to be done.

Evelyn   How so?

Harvey   Studies, there are still … We have, we have portions of … all over the world. Some of the, some of the top guys in … We have guys in, in Tokyo, Germany, Canada –

Evelyn   Dr Harvey –

Harvey   And, and, and recently, I’ve been working with a gentleman named Britt Abraham from the University of Alabama and, and Britt and I, we, we have a paper coming out. We have a paper coming out. Alterations in cortical thickness and neuronal density in the frontal cortex of –

Harvey   And, and, and Steven Pinker, you know Steven Pinker? He’s going to be –

Evelyn   Dr Harvey –

Harvey   In the New York Times, he’s going to be writing about –

Evelyn   Thom, I think you and I both know that there is nothing whatsoever remarkable about Albie’s brain.

Harvey   No.

Evelyn   Albie worked like a dog and he treated his family like crap.

Harvey   No.

Evelyn   He worked and he worked and he worked day after day after day and he found the time and the energy required to do so through sheer neglect. Most of my family, Dr Harvey, they hated Albie. They loathed him. They found him to be arrogant, selfish –

Harvey   No. Your grandfather –

Evelyn   Albie was not a genius because of his brain; he was a genius because he worked himself to death.

Harvey   A hundred years ago we thought the universe was static. We had no idea of its scale, its extraordinary scope. But he changed all that, your –

Michael   Doc –

Harvey   No, we, we went from being the centre of the universe to just some little piece. But it sure as hell didn’t happen overnight. Science proceeds and confounds and enlightens through its continued and systematic observation of our world, exactly as it is.

Evelyn   Dr Harvey, please stop.

Harvey   Favours – You know – ‘Chance favours the prepared mind’, you know who said that?

Evelyn   It’s time to stop, Thom.

Harvey   I’m … I’m sorry, but I, I cannot do that. I’m sorry.

Evelyn   That’s okay.

Harvey   I disagree. I’m sorry.

Evelyn   Don’t apologise.

Harvey   I cannot share your point of view. (He is growing upset.) I’m sorry. That I cannot do. I wanna help you, Evelyn, but stopping is something that I cannot … I’m sorry.

Evelyn   I understand.

Jon   Martha?

Martha   Yes.

Jon   Jon.

Martha   Jon, hi.

Jon   Thank you for meeting with me; I know you must be very busy.

Martha   Occasionally.

Jon   Occasionally; I like that. So … I have absolutely no idea where to begin. So I’ll start at the start and you just tell me if you want me to hurry the hell up and get to the end. Now, and this is going back, God, donkey’s years, I was given the opportunity to meet a patient named HM.

Martha   Wow.

Jon   I know; turned out this bloke I’d read about during my PhD was in a home half an hour down the road. Since that first meeting, I’ve met with Henry, on and off, once or twice a month across virtually the whole of my career. Some months I see more of Henry than I do my own wife. Henry recently turned eighty and, as such, one thing I am very personally keen to do is ensure that we are given the opportunity to study Henry’s brain following his death.

Martha   Of course.

Jon   In order to secure a donation, we’ve had to explore various, how do I put this, ‘avenues’. One of which, of course, was whether or not Henry has any living relatives. Now I have to be honest with you, Martha, I have agonised over the appropriate – Let alone – Anyway, the best thing might be to just …

Henry was married to a lady named Margaret who very sadly died giving birth to their first, well, only I suppose, daughter. Henry’s pre- and post-operative consultant, a bloke named Victor Milner, made various attempts, according to his notes this is, to break the bad news to Henry. But of course Henry’s condition meant that he couldn’t even remember to forget. He asks for her even now.

Martha   Jesus.

Jon   Henry and Margaret’s daughter was adopted and, in 1971, at the age of eighteen, she gave birth herself … Well, you can, you can read the rest for yourself I’m sure.

Martha   (beat) Can I hang on to this?

Jon   My God – please. I thought for the sake of clarity I’d try and condense everything into a single document.

Martha   No – Thank you – It’s very … Clear. Christ, I – (Laughs a little perhaps.)

Jon   I hope it’s not too much of a bombardment?

Martha   I don’t suppose you have any cigarettes do you?

Do you mind?

Jon   Not only do I not mind, I might even join you.

Martha   I’m trying to give up.

Jon   Have you tried those e-cigarettes?

Martha   I haven’t.

Jon   Are you alright, Martha?

Martha   I think so.

Patricia   You have a son.

Martha   (bit drunk) What?

Patricia   You. You have a son.

Martha   Who says?

Patricia   Don’t fuck around.

Martha   I’m sorry.

Patricia   Don’t fuck around and make jokes.

Martha   I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Yes. I have a son. I am mother.

Patricia   Fuck’s sake, Martha.

Martha   His name’s Ben.

Patricia   How old is he?

Martha   Who – how do you know?

Patricia   How old is he?

Martha   Why does that matter?

Patricia   I don’t know but for some reason it does.

Martha   Is it better if he’s younger or older?

Patricia   Nothing makes it better.

Martha   How do you know?

Patricia   Greg.

Martha   Who the fuck is Greg …?

Patricia   The guy who you told you were gonna break his legs, ring any bells?

Martha   Actually it was his fingers, it was his fiddly fucking fingers.

Patricia   Are you drunk?

Martha   A bit.

Patricia   Greg is a friend, do you understand?

Martha   Greg is a misogynist.

Patricia   I think you have a problem. I think you have a problem with drink and I think you have a problem with telling the truth.

Martha   What?

Patricia   And I know you don’t believe in free will, but I think you seriously need to exercise a bit of, like, self-fucking-control.

Martha   I’m sorry, I’m sorry, ‘self-control’? Do you have any idea – No, you know what, when you’ve – When you’ve actually – Because I can’t imagine what it must be like being you, how hard it must be being young, and brilliant, and funny, and fucking, with things actually ahead – So I’m sorry if I’ve had a bit to drink and I’m sorry if I lied to you but I’m afraid the truth is, the real truth is, I don’t know anything about it, I don’t know anything about anything, and I have to look at these patients and these people and their families, while they babble on and on and on, I have to look at them, in the eyes, in the eyes, and I have to tell them it’s going to be alright – But really what I wanna say is, what I really wanna say is: we’re pointless. We are pointless. We’re a blip. A blip within a blip within an abyss. So, yes, I have had a bit to drink because, otherwise, frankly, I think I’d be tempted to drive a fucking hammer through my head.

Patricia   (beat) I literally don’t even know what to say to that.

Martha  

Patricia   I’d like you to leave.

Martha   That’s fair enough. That was probably a bit much.

Patricia   It was.

Martha   I think you’re amazing, Patricia, and I’m sorry I lied to you.

Patricia   Yeah.

Martha   I mean it, I think you’re amazing.

Michael   Hey, buddy, how’s it going? Good news –

Harvey   Not too good, actually.

Michael   Oh.

Harvey   I read your article.

Michael   What’d you think?

Harvey   Who the hell do you think you are –

Michael   Whoa, Doc –

Harvey   Reportage; are you kidding me?!

Michael   Doc, take it easy.

Harvey   You have embarrassed me – You have embarrassed my family

Michael   Okay, Doc, you need to –

Harvey   I had a call, I had a call from my son, my son Robert –

Michael   Doc –

Harvey   Elouise is, is, is, inconsolable –

Michael   I’m sorry to –

Harvey   What does any of what happened between –

Michael   Okay, look –

Harvey   What does any of what happened with me and you have to do with Elouise?

Michael   Doc, you’re missing the p—

Harvey   She is an extraordinary human being, whom I loved, whom I loved, Michael, you understand that, and you have reduced her to –

Harvey   Can you please stop shouting at me for, like –

Harvey   It is BS, Michael. It is a joke. A joke. You’ve turned this whole, this whole thing into a, into a –

Michael   Can I please –

Harvey   A freak show, you turned it into a freak show.

Michael   In what universe is you carting around some dead guy’s brain in the trunk of your car not –

Harvey   You son of a bitch, it is my life!

Michael   Oh gimme a – Where’s the proof? Huh, Doc? Where’s the evidence, where’s this hallowed research –

Harvey   The reason … The reason we haven’t published, yet, is because –

Michael   Doc, Jesus Christ, admit it: you got it wrong. You made – You took some guy’s brain – You went, okay, gee, maybe there’s something in this –

Harvey   You are a liar.

Michael   Yeah, well, you’re deluded, so.

Harvey   There is not one ounce of truth –

Michael   Truth, you wanna talk about truth? How about the fact you met some guy once, once, Doc – you drained his piss and then you cut him open and you stole his fuckin’ brain, and then, then, you had the nerve to act like some –

Harvey   I did not –

Michael   Evelyn was right, Doc: leave it the hell alone.

Harvey   You have –

Michael   Move on.

Harvey   The goal –

Michael   Are we done here?

Harvey   The goal of science is to eliminate the subjective viewpoint in order to reach an objective –

Michael   What in God’s –

Harvey   We had a deal!

Michael   Yes, we did. And I stuck to that deal. I paid for the gas and I got you a meetin’ with Evelyn. Oh, and by the way, a little company you mighta heard of called Paramount Pictures might have a little something to say about my –

Harvey   You, sir –

Michael   Paul Newman, Doc, hearda him?

Harvey   I’m not interested –

Michael   You know how much money they wanna throw at this thing?

Harvey   You lied. You lied to me.

Michael   Yeah, well, maybe I did. Maybe I did. But you lied to yourself, and I dunno which is worse.

Beat.

You shoulda just let the fucking thing be cremated.

 

Martha   Hello Henry.

Henry   Hello.

Martha   I’m Martha.

Henry   Hello Martha.

Martha   How are you?

Henry   I’m waiting for Margaret. Margaret and I are newlyweds.

Martha   Congratulations.

Henry   Thank you. We’re going to London.

Martha   I’m from London.

Henry   We haven’t met before have we?

Martha   We’ve not, no.

Henry   I wasn’t sure. I have trouble remembering things, you see.

Martha   I see.

Henry   I’m waiting for an operation. Once that’s all done and dusted, Margaret and I will be able to take our honeymoon.

Martha   Do you know where?

Henry   Brighton. Margaret wants to visit the West Pier. She wants to see the starlings. The formations. I don’t suppose I might be able to trouble you for a cigarette?

Martha   Is that allowed?

Henry   I think so.

(Beat.) Hello. Martha?

Jon   He’s, um. Henry, I’d like to introduce you to someone: this is Martha.

Henry   Hello Martha.

Martha   Hello Henry.

Henry   I’m waiting for Margaret.

Martha   Yes.

Henry   Margaret and I are newlyweds.

Martha   Congratulations.

Henry   Thank you. We’re going to London.

Martha   Yes.

Henry   We haven’t met before have we?

Martha   Um, we have. Actually we have.

Henry   I’m sorry. I have trouble remembering things, you see.

Martha   Yes.

Henry   I’m waiting for an operation. Once that’s all done and dusted, Margaret and I will be able to take our honeymoon.

Martha   Do you know where?

Henry   Brighton. Margaret wants to visit the West Pier. She wants to see the starlings. The formations.

Martha   Henry, um. There’s something I wanted to speak to you about, if that’s alright.

Henry   Please.

Martha   Okay.

Henry   Hello.

Martha   (beginning to pull herself together, as it were) Hello Henry.

Henry   Here –

Martha   Thank you, Henry.

Henry   We haven’t met before have we?

Martha   We have. But don’t worry.

Henry   I have trouble remembering things, you see.

Martha   Don’t worry. Henry?

Henry   Yes.

Martha   Jon tells me you’re a bit of a pianist?

Henry   I don’t know.

Martha   My son’s a musician. I’d love to hear you play. If you didn’t mind.

Henry   Alright.

What do you want me to play?

Martha   I don’t mind. Whatever you want.