| |
“You see any light at the end of the tunnel because I sure as hell don’t.” Sierra tossed the fork on the table. “How did my life get to this? How did I go from being the ‘it’ girl and now people won’t even let me clean the toilets?”
“You’re a damn good actress.” Dash wiggled his leg. “You worked hard to conquer alcoholism and you’re doing great.”
“They don’t care. All they remember is how I screwed things up.” She played with her ponytail. “If I were a man, I wouldn’t get this treatment. You got actors on drugs and running women and they still get A-list parts. Athletes beat their wives and make sex tapes and they stay on the team.” She let out an exasperated sigh. “Let me fart and I’m blacklisted. What did I do that was so wrong? I crashed some parties, said things I shouldn’t have and acted a little reckless but I’m an alcoholic. I was sick.”
He nodded.
“All they see are my actions and not what caused them.” She put her elbows on the table. “It hurts to have people make fun of you when they used to worship you.”
“Stop letting these Hollywood dicks define you. Who cares what they think?”
“I gotta care if I want a shot again.”
“No one works harder than you, Sierra. I’ve always respected how serious you take the craft. How dare Ian not see that?”
She smiled.
“I respect him as a producer but as your father he’s lost points with me.” He pushed the cheesecake box out of his way. “Sometimes I sit at home and I wonder if fame is worth it. You don’t realize how much you lose.” Brightness left his eyes. “I’m so lonely, Sierra.”
“Lonely?”
“I don’t have friends. All I have are people who want to be around me because of who I am. If I didn’t have money or fame, then they wouldn’t care.”
“Welcome to Hollywood, Dash.”
“It’s funny I worked so hard to get to this point, and I’m not happy.” He took the shades off his head and looked at her. “I’m grateful for the fame, money, and opportunity but it’s not enough. I can’t trust getting close to anyone because they always want something from me.”
She touched his leg. “I didn’t know you felt this way.”
“That’s why I miss you, Sierra. I could talk to you about anything. I’ve never been that happy and all the money and fame in the world can’t compete. That’s why I can’t let you go. I’m miserable without you.”
“Dash—”
“I love you.” He moved closer, caressing her jaw. “I know you miss me too.”
She moved when he tried to kiss her. “We can’t.”
“Please, don’t turn me away.” He laid his forehead to hers. “We need each other. Hugh’s not the man for you.”
She pushed at his grip despite desiring his hold.
“Hugh can’t make you happy the way I can.” He tried to kiss her again, bottom lip extending.
“No.” She closed her eyes, fighting to keep fighting. “We can’t go back, Dash. Not to how it was before.”
“Why not?” He got on his knees in front of her. “Please, come back to me.”
“Stop.”
“Please?” He held her head to his. “We can be so happy. Please—”
“I can’t, Dash.” She pushed him away and stood. “You’ve got to stop torturing yourself and move on.”
“I can’t.” He stood, grabbing her. “I want you back.”
She walked from the table. “Unless you commit in front of the whole world, then I’m never coming back to you.”
“You’d rather be miserable with Hugh than happy with me?”
“I don’t wanna be your lover in the shadows. Can’t you get how it makes me feel as a woman to know you’re ashamed of me?”
“I’m not ashamed of you.”
“You are. You can admit it. I’m ashamed of myself and what I let my life become.”
He walked toward her. “I am not ashamed of you.”
“Then call the media right now and tell them you love me.” She pointed to the doors. “Shout it from the rooftop. Put it in the fucking newspaper. That’s what you have to do if you want me back. Can you do that, Dash? Are you willing to do that?”
“I love you with all my heart.”
She sighed, rubbing her head. “Guess I got my answer, huh?”
“You’re just as lonely as I am.”
“Maybe so but I won’t put myself in the position for you to hurt me again. I got too much other shit to deal with.” She got her iPad and sat on the sofa. “Thanks for the cheesecake.” She sniffled, trying to put her earphones in with shaking hands. “But, I want to finish meditating now.”
“Sierra—”
She turned away from him, sitting Indian-style. “Please leave.”
“Fine.” He went to the doors. “But, you’re hurting yourself as much as you’re hurting me. I hope you can live with that.”