CHAPTER 19

Harpreet sat in her office at Simmons and Jones, looking out of the window. The view was not anything to admire, only dark stone walls, and old tiled rooves, against the dullness of the sky. But she was not really looking at anything. She could not concentrate. This place did not feel the same since Michael had left. There was many a time that she had had the urge to pick up the phone and call him. But she did not know if he would answer.

Amanthi had gone too and she did not have a connection to anyone else. Besides, there were too many memories here. Occasionally, she would hear his name mentioned, either by Sylvie or one of the Partners, who had been in contact with 12 Gosforth Park. She heard that he had not been around much. She looked back at the screen now. She was in the middle of a job application. She had tried to focus on finding a new job.

All the days ran into each other. There was nothing remarkable about this Friday from any other. Baljeet and Dave had kept a close watch on her, Dave from a distance. He had telephoned but said he would not come round for a while to give her some space. He was there if she needed him. She thought about what he had said to her the last time she saw him. It did not make sense. She had had no idea.

Harpreet left the office at five. Gurmeet was to be collected by his father and would be back the following evening. She just wanted to go home and rest. As she prepared her food in the kitchen, she could hear the sound of the rain, hard against the window. It was after she had eaten and cleared away, that there was a knock at the door. She was not expecting anyone. She thought that maybe Baljeet was in the area and had decided to see if she was in.

She opened the door and was taken aback. It was Michael. She did not know how long he had been standing there. He was drenched. He looked dishevelled, not his usual immaculate, flawless self. She immediately felt pity for him.

“Michael!” she exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?” he asked.

She did not speak, just opened the door wider for him to come in.

They sat in silence for a while. She thought that maybe he looked like this because he had suffered without her.

“Harp, my father died. It tore me apart. It was awful, the funeral, everything. He was buried next to my mother. I did not tell you because I knew that I hurt you. I did not know if you would want to see me again.”

He looked so vulnerable and helpless. She sat next to him and held his hand. After everything he had done, she still loved him.

“I am so sorry, Michael. Why didn’t you tell me? I could have been there for you at the funeral. You didn’t need to go through all this alone.”

He turned to her and looked into her eyes. She melted.

“I didn’t think I deserved you Harp. I said some awful things to you. I’m so sorry. I made a mistake. I do love you.”

She put her finger on his lips.

“Shush, you don’t need to say any more. You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

Michael put his arm around her. She saw his eyes fill with tears and then roll down his face.

“Harp, I’m never going to see him again. Being at the funeral, reminded me of my mother’s funeral. The pain cut through me like a knife.”

He was weeping now. She did not know how to comfort him and just held him until he stopped.

They did not speak any more. She breathed in the familiar scent of his body as she held him close. He turned his face to her, tracing her lips and kissed her gently at first and then with an increased passion. His eyes were intense, filled with desire for her.

“I want you,” he whispered in her ear. “I have missed you so much.”

He lifted her up and carried her to the bedroom, laying her on the bed while he undressed. They made love in the darkness, each hungry for the other. Afterwards, they lay together, embracing. She had missed the passion, the intensity of their lovemaking. This always made up for the loneliness and emptiness when he was gone.

He looked into her eyes, smiling.

“Are you happy to be back?” she asked, stroking his arm affectionately.

“Of course” he replied. He did not get up to leave and she did not ask him if he was staying. She felt secure for once. He had come back because he loved her.

“Can I get you some water to drink?” he asked as he got up. “I am going to get some.”

She nodded. As he moved past the bedside table, he knocked against it and his wallet which he had placed there, fell to the ground. He picked it up and said he would put it in his coat pocket so that he did not forget it in the morning.

He did not hurry to leave in the morning. They had breakfast together and he told her about how work had been. He promised that he would try harder and would never hurt her again. She smiled as she closed the door behind him. He had said that he would come and see her in the week or she could go to Chambers to meet him for lunch.

Gurmeet would be back in the evening. She busied herself, cleaning the flat and preparing food for them to eat. She only had her own bedroom left to clean before she was done. She hoovered the room, around the bed and then moved the vacumn to hoover under the bed, when she stopped. There was something lying on the floor near the bed on the side where Michael had slept. It must have fallen out of his wallet.

She bent down to pick it up. It was a photograph of a female holding a new born baby. The baby was dressed in a blue baby grow, a boy. The female was beautiful. Her hair was mahogany in colour and was tied up in a ponytail. Her green eyes stood out from the picture. She held the baby proudly in her arms. Behind her was a man. His arm was on her shoulder and he smiled broadly. It was Michael. Her gaze focused on his hand, on the bright gold wedding band, which stood out on his finger. Tears fell from her eyes onto the picture.

She ran to the bathroom and was sick. Her body felt as though it was going to shut down. Her mind was buzzing. She felt as though she was going to faint. It was a while before she was able to cry and then she let out a scream which echoed throughout the small flat. She felt paralysed, frozen. How could he have betrayed her like this?