Chapter Forty-Two

It was a big day, or a big night at least. Perhaps the biggest of his existence, if all went well. With his doting nurse’ help Karl prepared for it carefully.

They did the new bowel routine, flirting (quite woefully and sweatily on Karl’s part) as they emptied that most important cavity completely. With an extra and extended hosing afterwards they cleaned him thoroughly up there too, so that no gloves or wipes might detract from the intended mood. He was bathed and shaved and groomed especially impeccably, even his nails trimmed and filed. Nurse Drake finished with the braiding of his hair.

Karl had actually come to appreciate this; it kept stray strands out of his face and mouth better than a ponytail. He also liked the way she used the braids as reins when fucking his face, and even guiltily enjoyed the rapturous demeaning of willingly being turned into her ‘cute little sissy’. They fantasized together about completely feminizing him, about the kind of elaborate uniforms she’d make him wear as her chambermaid, the kinds of bondage she would keep him in around the clock and how it would make his various duties especially trying but just barely possible in the most degrading of ways.

They discussed whether solder in the keyhole of his chastity device would be sufficient to ensure his eternal impotence or if welding the whole thing permanently together would be for the best. Perhaps they could even have a deliberately lockless device lined with spikes custom-made, like in the dream he’d had, the one that almost surely most accurately presaged his destiny…

Still uncertain whether Doreen was just having fun with him or seriously considering all this, Karl played the game with black titillation and fascinated unease, wondering how it would be to live such a selfless, devoted existence. That would atone for Karl One far more fittingly than the state home, that’s for sure. With a wicked snicker his mistress confirmed his guess that the only sex such a life would offer would be constant brutal buggery in bondage and whatever servicing her many lovers needed before and after she enjoyed them right in front of him. Still giggling at his sick mixture of rapture and horror, Nurse Drake catheterized her patient, took her time to do a particularly extensive medical check, stretched him out and put him through a reasonably hard but not too debilitating PT session.

After a light and yet freighted lunch they used the FNS on him some, caned his feet to weeping and reddened him up all over with the strap. Then Karl not only got his face fucked good and proper for a couple of hours, but Doreen finally allowed him to actually make voluntary love to big pink, to orally pleasure her as though she was as real as she looked.

Aping all of his lover’s expert techniques, Karl flamed with shame but flung himself ever more eagerly into the job. He needed to seriously cultivate his feminine side for tonight, get totally empathically immersed in it. So he sucked and tongued and skewered himself with a passion, feeling sexy and slutty and ever more excited by his performance.

Beaming Doreen rewarded him with lavish kissing after, rubbing his nipples and bung and murmuring about how much she couldn’t wait to introduce him to the real pleasures of being a woman. He shivered and moaned and began to honestly look forward to this despite lingering qualms and the memory of weeks of abominated distress. Later they spoke of the coming coupling in more immediate terms, Doreen still carefully reassuring and preparing him.

Their romantic candlelit dinner was finished, along with the first exquisite vintage. George Winston quietly played piano for them, and the skylight had been completely opened in anticipation of the yearly meteor shower. To keep from luring insects inside or flushing the rhodopsin from their eyes they left only a few candles burning back in the bathroom. With the head and foot both elevated some they lounged side by side on the king-size, watching the darkness deepen and the stars come out overhead.

Doreen was wearing that gauzy silver teddy that had led them into disaster the last time. Another of the best bottles in the cellar had been opened, they’d shared a smoke and a heady if tremulous anticipation was in the air. For a while they drew out the suspense by talking about the meteor that detonated so spectacularly over Russia not long ago, along with other notable cosmic bullets. Doreen had seen the mile-wide Barringer crater near Flagstaff for herself when younger. They tried to imagine the distance that three hundred thousand-ton iron slug had come, and the explosion upon impact. Being buzzed was always good for discussing the awesome and the infinite. Karl couldn’t evade his own approaching impactful event forever however, be it another shattering cataclysm or an apocalyptic renaissance. Hating the quaver in his voice but unable to control it, he accepted another drink and then spoke into a mostly comfortable lull.

“Can you really make it good for me, mistress?”

“Darling, you’ll be lucky not to be struck blind.”

“What…what do you mean?”

“You’ve never heard of Tiresias? According to Greek myth he was the seer of Thebes.”

“Okay.”

“He was out walking and saw two snakes mating. He struck them with his staff, separating them, and as a result was transformed into a woman. He lived seven years that way, bearing children and running a whorehouse. Then one day he saw the snakes mating again, did the same thing and changed back.”

“Better than reassignment surgery.”

“You know it. Anyway, when asked whether male or female sexual pleasure was better, he said the woman’s was ten times better. So the secret was out forever, and the goddess Hera struck him blind in punishment for blabbing.”

“Ah, thank you.”

“Yes. And you will thank me. I guarantee it.”

Loving silence reigned a while.

“And…and other guys really enjoy it, normal guys?”

“Darling, search ‘pegging’ next time you’re on-line. There’s a whole subculture devoted to it. Some kinky folk enjoy it as the ultimate act of female domination, true. Imagine that. But most couples add it to their bed repertoire simply because it feels so good, it’s so thrilling and fulfilling and they like it so much. They’re open-minded and enlightened enough not to let silly religious proscriptions or infantile ideas about acceptable gender roles get in the way of their love of enjoying each other emotionally and physically to the limit.”

“You have a very convincing way of putting things, m’ lady.”

“The truth is convincing, that’s all. Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll be gentle with you, at least until you beg me to be otherwise. Then all bets are off, baby.”

“I get it…or I guess I will soon.”

Giddy with the dope after such seriousness, they giggled at the double entendre. Then they melded together to watch their own private sky show while the suspense built on and on.

The good news was that there was no moon. Light pollution would be at a minimum and Karl wouldn’t be bothered by any Diana-fancies. As purple darkened to jet the existing stars sharpened while others steadily joined them. Though they could see only a limited swath of the sky, they were soon able to identify the constellation Perseus.

Karl’s favorite character of myth (though he might be supplanted by this Tiresias guy anytime), Perseus avoided being turned into stone, won the princess Andromeda and then accidently killed his heartless human father. Now he designated the section of sky from which the meteors were expected to arrive.

This was all heavenly serendipity – and a tribute to the wisdom of keeping up with the news and weather reports. The Perseids were predicted to be particularly profuse this year. The number of visitors visibly incinerating in the atmosphere was expected to peak at around two or three a.m. but was already beginning. In the comfort of their own bed with a bottle of wine they fell mostly back into silence. Occasional murmurs of animal contentment were exchanged, as well as kisses and quiet giggles and joke-groping. These petered out after the first few oohs and ahhs. Then they awaited each next streak of fire across the night with almost reverent awe.

Karl was no more superstitious than he was truly religious. And those weren’t falling stars at all but prosaic bits of burning rock and dirt. Still he caught himself wishing on them over and over, just as he used to do with Krista on stolen nights together, spread on an old sleeping bag in the middle of the empty soccer field.

Then he’d done so indulgently, humoring his girlfriend’s fancy. Now he did so fervently, and his wishes were all connected: to get through this night with honor, for it to be as good as promised and he needed, and most of all for it to work and get him back on his damn feet again!

Lying entwined with the divine kept inspiring Karl to one more wish of course: to be with Doreen forever in whatever capacity it took. The way she kept petting and stroking his now almost completely bare and hairless body (only his forearms remained furred) and squeezing him with excitement at each fresh spate of fireworks kept his attention torn between the glory in the sky and the one by his side.

Eventually the balance inevitably shifted. Without remarking on it Doreen pressed to get him to void. When nothing came out she peeled off the condom so she could play with him while they lay together in the dimness gazing up.

Gradually rapture eclipsed all. Once in a while Nurse Drake interrupted her almost constant slow stroking to rub on his perineum, the spot just between his bung and balls. Clearly this affected the prostate too: Karl ached harder and seeped sweetness for her. He knew if she kept it up she could milk him again without even insertion, which he murmured unconscious protest against. That was not her intent however.

She was merely adding lassitude to his rapture, easing him toward submission and acceptance without totally entrancing him. Muscles limp and flaccid, inhibitions eased by alcohol and post-hypnotic suggestion, he soon felt so turned on and submissive and turned on by feeling submissive that he could only moan and throb and answer everything she asked him with unthinking candor.

“Are you feeling good, little slut?” For the first time that finger on his perineum slid lower to caress with the gentlest pressure.

“I feel heavenly, Goddess.”

“What have you been wishing for as the stars fall?”

“You know.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“I’ve been wishing that you would stick your big hard penis in me. That you would turn a crude fuck-hole into a wonderfully responsive sissy-pussy. That you would salve the memory of endless pain and rape by finally making it a joy, and in the process giving my most ashamed secret self what it seems to need the most.

“Maybe that way you can heal me with your prick, somehow fuck me back to life with it. But mostly I’ve just been hoping that I don’t let you down somehow.”

“Not good enough. What else, my darling slave? I know there’s more.”

“What else is there to confess? You know my darkest heart. I pray that this is the first of only a million times, if that’s what it takes for me to remain with you forever. I pray to be your tortured sissy ass-bitch for eternity.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear. Shall I grant these wishes now, or at least many as I can? Shall I answer these prayers to the best of my abilities?”

“I beg you to do that with all my beholden soul.”

“Very well, little slut. It’s time to earn your nickname for real. Sluts don’t just take it, after all. They love to take it, they live to take it, they are uncontrollably addicted to endlessly taking it. So it shall be for you too.”

The bed motor purred. The foot went back down flat, the head almost so but stopping slightly elevated. Expecting to be rolled onto his belly with his raging monster enveloped in a pillow, Karl instead felt his moderately splayed legs lifted above his head and spread to their limits. Padded cuffs secured his ankles thus, not for restraint but convenience. A pillow was wedged under his kidneys for support, and in his languorous rapture he realized he was finally going to be fucked face to loving face. What he’d dreaded before now promised ecstasy and communion unimaginable. A moan of anticipatory joy escaped him.

A sliver of trepidation remained, yet that was integral to the thrill. When Nurse Drake bowed before him to perform foreplay he was already nearly in a delirium of love and need.

Shame had joined fear in the almost-irrelevant category and he reveled in his hugely receptive spread. Again he felt girlish and slutty and now as eager as if six weeks of agonizing rape had never tested him. Goddess had promised this time would be different. And she always kept her word. That was one of at least ten billion things he loved about her.

Another was her way of proving that despite the necessary asymmetry of their love she truly believed they were both human and equal in the end. She unhesitatingly put her tongue to use just as she still so often demanded of him. Taking her slow sweet time she licked and swirled and probed and gently coaxed him ever more open, all the while massaging his perineum on. Honored and exalted and aroused beyond expression, Karl fought back the lassitude to use the slight incline to watch with rapt disbelief until she returned to squatting upright.

Between her bunched haunches, below the diaphanous flounce of her barely-there teddy, starlight gleamed on the feeldoe already curving up. When did that happen? She had not her usual tube of hospital lube but a small squeeze bottle of strawberry-scented baby oil in her hand. Beginning to hum ‘their’ song in an irresistibly lulling way she inserted and squirted warm slippery wetness up into him. More was drizzled around the perimeter, and those loving fingers took over for her tongue.

More dilated and receptive by the second, Karl tossed his head unconsciously and groaned more enraptured than ever. Somehow he sensed the ghost within finally coming forth from the machine: lured in hopes of sating the sick (or not) hitherto unassuaged imperative that he sensed was somehow key to being banished for good.

Shameful and bizarre or not, that need was suddenly overwhelming, making Karl keen and teeter on some inner precipice, his monster a bar of iron on fire.

Goddess bless or be her, Nurse Drake didn’t bother with superfluous words or gestures. She just pushed him. Seizing the moment instinctively she dropped the bottle and shifted swiftly closer. Then she accepted his open invitation.