Chapter Forty-Three

Entering with supreme ease and overcoming just the perfect amount of resistance, Doreen’s penis slid smoothly up and in until pubis met perineum. As that single slow stroke stuffed him up Karl sobbed not with the agonized rejection of the past month and a half but with the climactic reconfiguring of self he’d so badly needed.

Every previous tease from fingertip on up only hinted at this. Every cruelly domineering entry of big pink gave him a tantalizing taste of it before that big butch bitch bludgeoned him into subjugated misery. (Imagine that, indeed). This time he finally had the chance to appreciate the compulsory appeal of being so intimately invaded.

He didn’t truly understand it yet. More accurately, he understood it on some level but had failed so far to articulate his intuitions into awareness. That revelation was surely imminent, he could tell just by the currents being churned up inside. For now though it was all about effect and affect: indescribably compelling physical stimulation and the emotions thus spawned.

There was pain but only just enough to satisfy his rapture – he’d been perfectly prepared for this. There was a delicious slick friction: the sliding pressure of that knob and curve rubbing along his love-nub, squeezing so much need into his penis that the monster drooled like Karl with a cock in his mouth.

There was the irresistible stretching of entry, the incredibly fulfilling filling and finally the bug-pinned-to-a-board possession and ultimate domination of total occupation. Surfeited with so much ecstatic reward, Karl Jensen Almost-Four felt the last stubborn remnants of benighted post-pubescent asshole Karl One eradicated for good. Denial and locker-room idiocy couldn’t possibly stand up to experiencing the truth Hera had been so pissed to have exposed.

Sweet Doreen gave him the leisure Nurse Drake had denied him, allowing Karl to wallow in every incredible sensation and internalize each therapeutic perception. She waggled inside him a little as she settled herself, dredging another sob from him at the almost orgasmic intensity of his abnegation. Slowly she withdrew until the knob just popped out and then with exquisite deliberation repeated that momentous salient. From undefended entry until perineum kissed pudendum she slid in again, eased out and back in again and then again and again and again in the heavenly genesis of the oh-so gentle rhythm promised.

Karl Almost-Four cherished every impalement. Groans like he’d never known were ripped from him after his sobs expressed too much distress. If there was any distress here it was of the inexpressibly welcome sort. Aching to open himself wider, to lift his hips higher, only the monster responded to his whole-body straining. In the dimness its quivering tip glistened like the snout of a breaching plesiosaur.

Doreen stopped popping teasingly out. Instead she opted for full penetration and rocking sedately against him. Taking even this first step toward a proper copulation carefully, she smiled warmly down at her freshly-pegged adolescent and let the young virgin-slut both enjoy the awakenings of this true deflowering and appreciate the long-guessed benefits of face-to-face sex in the submissive position. His eyes were heavy-lidded but avid as they studied her breasts. They were filled with worship, love, and an incredible intensity of undreamed-of ecstasy along with the glimmer of belatedly cohering understanding when they sought out her face. It was time.

“This feels good too, doesn’t it darling? Tiresias was right, yes?”

“It feels better than any heaven ever. Thank you, Goddess.”

“You’re welcome. Yes, sex feels good from either side – what a surprise. Are you ready for a little more pleasure then?”

“Yes, please.”

Nurse Drake leaned forward, propping herself on her palms so she could gaze directly down at him as she incrementally increased the pace of her thrusting. She let Karl groan his heightened appreciation for a dozen or so strokes, and ogle her now dangling, jiggling breasts before recapturing those windows to a beloved and wholly owned soul.

“Yes, it feels very good, fabulous in fact, that slippery-hard spike driving repeatedly in so deep. And feeling good is usually good enough. But it feels good to my mixed-up little slut for far deeper reasons than just firing nerve-endings, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“That’s because in your deepest heart of hearts your worst regret isn’t causing Krista’s death, which was the result of a reckless gamble. It’s something far more personal, is it not?”

“Yes, Goddess.” Lost in ecstasy and revelation, Karl found he could discuss his epiphany with only muted anguish. “The worse sin was my sexual selfishness. I made her die without ever climaxing. I wouldn’t make oral love to her or even let her get on top. My idiotic macho bullshit was a pervasive and long-standing crime compared to a single stupid decision. And if we’d gotten home all right I never would have changed.”

“Go on.”

“Being raped was the ultimate payback for that.”

“Yet it still wasn’t enough, was it darling?”

“No ma’am. I have to offer her more than just involuntary agony and supreme degradation. I’ve had the punishment I sought at the state home, safely and hygienically under medical supervision, thank you. But even that doesn’t satisfy the ghost fucking up my machine.”

“What will, darling?”

“This will, Goddess. I have to offer myself willingly, as loving gift, peace offering, and a way to beg her forgiveness. In lieu of everything I so stupidly, obstinately refused her out of macho insecurity I need to offer this absolute macho anathema. It’s the only way to sufficiently expiate my crimes: by trading my former selfishness and bullying for the quintessence of selflessness and submission. That’s why I’ve been so subconsciously driven toward this even while my awareness tried to deny it. That’s why I find it so profoundly satisfying now. My unconscious offer has been accepted in love at last. Can the forgiveness I need follow?”

“That’s the big question, my love. May I expand upon your understanding”?”

“Please!” Still a willing captive of glorious rapture, Karl nevertheless hung on his Goddess’ every word.

“Even the offer of your willingness may not be sufficient. To truly placate the ghost of your girlfriend, you have to prove to her – to yourself – that you really have changed.

“If you not only freely offer the use of your sissy-pussy but actually love that use, if it’s not just a forgiveness offering you endure out of devotion but as good for you as it is her, well that just repudiates the uptight, selfish asshole you used to be even more definitively.

“It epitomizes the truth that you’re no longer him and that you never will be again. And if you establish this new truth incontrovertibly by ejaculating during this most significant ever sex act, perhaps that moment of apotheosis after so much tortured denial might finally break your subconscious block.”

Dawning realization filled Karl with hope and euphoria.

“You mean…”

“Yes darling. You have my permission. If you feel that wonderful, emancipating climax coming on, don’t you dare stop me. Give into it with everything you’ve become. Maybe we can spend the next six weeks doing this and so much more on the beach.”

“Yes!”

“Okay darling, here we go. Let me know if I’m using you too hard for pleasure. And don’t ask me to go all out unless you’re ready to enjoy everything you’ve been taking and more.”

“I understand, my Goddess.”

“Okay, little slut. Let’s make love.”

Divine beneficence smiled on Karl.

Hands gripping the mattress to either side of his elevated head, teddy belling on its chain to fall away from unfettered breasts, Doreen leaned into him. The slow thrusting of her hips rocked his body easily. Her purrs of enjoyment and proprietary eyes were as heartwarming as the rhythmic plumbing of her prick and jiggling of her tits were fulfilling and thrilling. Yes, he loved this already, and could become as hopelessly addicted as his mistress had said so easily. Oh-so sedately she enjoyed him, making a torment now of her promise to be gentle. But at long last almost imperceptibly she began increasing the pace, allowing Karl’s lifesaving (he prayed) euphoria and ecstasy to climb along with it.

Five minutes of swooning pleasure and swelling excitement later they were going at it like proper lovers – if not crazed weasels just yet. Doreen had begun to pant with the exertion of her pumping, Karl with the emotional and physiological arousal flooding him.

Whimpers leaked from his lips. His cock was so sore and hard, the neglected monster still straining up raging. He was so crazed already he felt sure the briefest of jerks would spill his spouting seed. That would be too easy for their purposes however. Karl needed to climax just from being fucked, and how would he manage that without the requisite friction?

It didn’t matter. Goddess would provide. All he had to do was relax and enjoy and submit to femininity unthinkingly and everything would work out for the best.

Split wide, doubled-up, pinned to the mattress by his beloved and finally beginning to be pounded properly, Karl did just that.

As the pain began to build he welcomed it with masochistic avidity. Each especially effective jab into him spiked his excitement accordingly, and it seemed they never stopped coming. Though they were already edging into an intensity equal to what had made him bite the pillow and bawl and rebel barely a month ago, it seemed will and context were everything.

Making consensual love like this with a long slow build-up first had Karl urging her on with the tenor of his grunts and occasional sob, not begging her to stop. When Doreen sank from palms to elbows above him, levered his ass higher and rode up on it more in order to further empower her fucking he suddenly found her beasts dancing and slapping together bare inches from his nose. Buried under a landslide of warm, fleshy, ceaselessly working woman his rapture soared in tandem with the relentlessly stabbing agony.

Each time the feeldoe rammed demandingly home now the nubbled saddle that rubbed so effectively on her clit pressed his perineum too. The battering into the mattress he took had his insanely deranged monster slapping rhythmically against him, leaving more wetness on his belly. Still their mutual passion escalated until both were crying out their urgency as they coupled.

Karl’s need to ejaculate was as extreme as can be conceived. He felt like he might die if he didn’t finally get off after all this time, and that was close to the literal truth. But then in his mad extremity Goddess indeed finally provided.

Dropping from elbows and knees to flat atop him, she crushed him down and began escalating toward a pneumatic hammering he recognized woefully well. Permission or not she was going to all-out pound him to her usual excruciating climax soon. Sensing he had to get on board or be left behind forever, Karl cried out acquiescence even as he realized the flesh smothering him was her breasts.

“Do it Goddess! Make it savage!”

Savage it was, and sweeter than can be believed. After all this time his face was smushed and slapped and nipple-scraped all over. His incomparable lover was chanting that nonsense mantra as she lunged and plunged viciously against and into him. At long last his apoplectic monster was enveloped in hot flesh, squashed between Karl’s compressed abdomen and the wildly undulating one of the woman so ecstatically ramming herself into him.

Shit! All that pressure on his bladder suddenly triggered a need to pee. He’d had all that wine, and none had worked through him earlier. Without even thinking about it (there was no time; they were skyrocketing together toward apotheosis) Karl quashed the urge. Then Doreen was screaming and stabbing into him like never before, and he was screaming too even as his balls were clenching and hot squirts of sperm were jetting all over their bellies.

It was his third orgasm of the year, the first in six months. It was the only one he was really worthy of and the most galvanically powerful and satisfying he could ever remember. Yet when it had finished, when Doreen was collapsed gasping atop him in a wonderful loving crush, her still fully embedded feeldoe connecting them so intimately together, he knew that it hadn’t worked as planned. He could still feel everything yet move nothing. He was still locked in hysterical paralysis.

Karl Still-not-Four was about to start bawling like a baby again in his despair. If this didn’t work, what would? But then post-orgasm his bladder cramped painfully again. Reflexively Karl again suppressed the need – this was not the moment. It was only as the cramp passed a second time that he realized what he’d done.

The stunned gasp that escaped him alerted Nurse Drake. Even in her own post-coital exhaustion she pulled back, out of and off him to peer concernedly down. Beyond the shape of her head Karl saw a whole fusillade of meteors streak across the sky.

“What is it, darling? You climaxed, did it…”

“Not quite,” Karl gasped again. “But…something…wait…yes…oh honey!”

He blinked a second to find his composure.

“I have to pee, but I’m controlling it. I mean I need to go bad, but it’s not just running out of me. I can hold onto it while you get the urinal.”

“Really?” Now it was Doreen gasping again, and with unaffected glee this time.

“I felt it first when you dropped on top of me, and in the heat of the moment didn’t think about it, just fought it off. Now it’s back, and I’m holding it again, just like everybody else does. Oh Goddess, it’s not a cure yet but it’s something at least.”

“It’s a spectacular breakthrough is what it is!” Nurse Drake enthused, as another spate of meteors heralded her pronouncement.”This is fabulous! We’re definitely getting somewhere now! We just have to keep this up, which will be heaven, not hardship. You are one succulent young fuck, my little slut-boy. I could indeed do you for eternity, or at least six more weeks. What do say, my delightfully pegged princess?”

“I say I’m addicted already, mistress, the little ass-nymphomaniac you’ve been cultivating all along. Please do me until all the stars fall down.”

“You’ve got it, slave. Let me just get you the urinal first.”

After she held this for him to pee (which he did so naturally and easily he wanted to cavort and cry “No more catheters!” to the sky), Doreen put the bed down flat. As she poured more wine and rejoined him all sissy-split and eager she spoke seriously a moment.

“Darling, now that you understand how good it can be, I really have to apologize for making it so bad for so long. You needed that though, and none of this would have worked if you’d enjoyed it from the first. Please believe me that I sorrowed for you despite the supreme ecstasy fucking the absolute shit out of you gave me.”

“Of course, Nurse Drake! I understand completely. You said I’d thank you for it someday soon, and so now I shall. Thank you for raping me so badly mistress. I indeed needed it. I’m glad you loved it, and touched that you pitied me. How about we forgive each other – you for hurting, me for hating – and consider it even?”

“Excellent suggestion, darling. Thank you. Now there’s one other thing I want to suggest before we make love some more.”

She held up his head so he could sip some wine. Then she began gently re-lubing his other opening.

“It’s a new therapy I want you to try now that we’re so close to success. It’s called directed dreaming. Do you know of it?”

“Vaguely perhaps. I recognize the term from reading but the concept is elusive.”

“Well, it goes back to that day after the hurricane. Remember when I had to leave you alone for so long that you got worried for me? Unbidden fantasies of me in danger plagued you.”

“I remember.” Karl’s crippled body shivered, either from the memory, the rubbing, or two together.

“You conquered your fears by taking control of your fantasy, by entering into it and altering its course to a successful, even wonderful outcome.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Directed dreaming is a little tougher, but it works the same way. Often when you are dreaming, you are aware that you are dreaming, yes?”

“Yes.”

“These are called lucid dreams, and they go all the way back to Aristotle in the literature. The point is, it is often possible, once you are aware that you are dreaming, to exert control over the dream, to influence its course the way you did your fantasies.”

“You know, you’re right; I’ve done that myself, with dreams of playing soccer and stuff. It’s the night before the big game, you dream you’re getting killed, that competitive desperation rises up, you say no fucking way, and next thing you’re scoring like Leo Messi.”

“Exactly, darling. Try that with these dreams of Krista. Try to get her to forgive you next time; don’t just passively let whatever happens happen. Okay?”

“Absolutely ma’am, thank you! It’s a brilliant idea. Got any more brilliant ideas?”

“How about I explore your wormhole some more? There are whole universes of painful pleasure still waiting to be discovered.”

“Make it so, my number one love. Engage!’

“Resistance is futile!”

Grinning with intimidating zeal, she fell on him.