Chapter Three

 

Aileen told no-one about her mother’s letter. She needed to think it through carefully before making it an issue.

Dermot called most evenings wanting to take her out, and each time she declined.

‘You should do as the lad says, Aileen,’ Lizzy snapped. ‘Change of scenery will do you good.’

Aileen’s resentment towards the woman grew with each passing day, and she was close to telling her to mind her own business. But fearful of upsetting her da, she held her tongue.

Da had made no effort to go to the wholesaler’s, and she was tired of trying to get through to him. She could go for the stock herself. How hard could it be? She had gone with him many times. But the keys to the van weren’t hanging in their usual place.

What with the stock dwindling, and her mother’s letter foremost on her mind, Aileen’s head ached. She hated unanswered questions. If it was true, and she had a brother somewhere, what did it mean? Did her mother have him before her marriage to her father, or afterwards? Was it an affair? Or, even worse, had someone taken advantage of her? Was that why her ma had not mentioned it in all these years? Why would she want to bring it up now?

Her father was the only one who might be able to throw some light on it. But what if he didn’t know? What would it do to him? No, she couldn’t do it. For now, it would have to remain her secret.

* * *

When Aileen walked into the kitchen, Lizzy was dishing up stew on one of the hottest days of the year. Aileen stood in the doorway rooted to the spot, looking to where her mother’s blue sofa and easy chairs had been moved to the far end of the large kitchen.

‘Sit down,’ Lizzy said, ‘before it goes cold.’

‘I’m not hungry. And to be quite honest, I’m sick of stew.’ Aileen picked up her mother’s art deco vase from the centre of the table and placed it back on the mantle where it had been before. Then she turned towards her aunt. ‘What do you think you’re doing, touching my mother’s things?’

Her aunt grimaced. ‘Petulant young hussy! Jonny, are you going to let her speak to me like that?’

Her father shifted in his chair. ‘She’s upset, Lizzy. Give it time.’

‘Did you agree to this, Da?’ Aileen pointed towards the sofa.

‘Of course he did. You don’t think I would have done it otherwise.’

‘It’s just a change, Aileen. Lizzy thinks it helps to move things around a bit.’

‘Oh, she does, does she?’ Aileen cried. ‘I don’t want Ma’s things moved. She has no right to touch them.’ Turning, she left the room.

It wasn’t yet six o’clock when Aileen arrived outside Brogans butcher’s shop. Dermot had just finished serving a customer, so it was easy for her to catch his eye.

Dermot’s father shook his head. ‘Go on,’ he said. ‘Clean yourself up first, that young woman won’t wait around forever.’

‘Gizza minute!’ Dermot winked, whipped off his apron, and went through to the house.

‘How are yea coping, love?’ Mr Brogan asked.

She shrugged. ‘It’ll take time.’ She heard a tap running out the back. ‘I’m sorry to call him away so early.’

‘Ah, sure, we’re just about shutting up now, love, and it’ll get him out from under me feet.’ He chuckled. Dermot’s father was a cheery soul, not unlike his son—a good sort—and although she had only been seeing Dermot a few weeks, she liked his family.

‘Right, I’m all yours.’ Dermot was back, running a comb through his black hair, and looking smart in a grey jacket.

He placed his arm around her shoulder as they walked down the street. Most of the shops were closing and putting up shutters, but the street was cluttered with buses, lorries, trucks and bicycles, all making their way towards O’Connell Street.

‘I know it’s early, Dermot, but I had to get out. Aunt Lizzy is driving me crazy. I don’t know how much longer I can put up with her.’

‘Ah, sure don’t let her get to you, Aileen. You’ll get wrinkles and spoil your lovely face.’

Her mother had once told her she had a face like a china doll. Aileen didn’t think that. Lately, she couldn’t get any colour into her cheeks.

‘What’s your da doing about your aunt?’

She shook her head. ‘He doesn’t appear to care. Most of the time he’s in a world of his own.’

‘Look, I haven’t eaten, and I’m not dressed to take you anywhere posh.’ He smiled.

‘Will the café across in O’Connell Street be okay? They’ll do us egg and chips.’ They paused for traffic and then hurried across the busy street.

‘Anywhere is preferable to being at home right now. I don’t know what I’ll do if she doesn’t go home soon, I…’ She felt bad to put all this on Dermot, but she had no-one else to talk to.

‘Here we are.’ He held open the door. ‘You’ll feel better once you’ve had something to eat.’ Dermot had a way of making her feel like she wasn’t alone, and she was grateful for his company.

‘Here, sit down.’ He pulled out a wooden chair with a red plastic seat. ‘Egg and chips twice,’ he said, removing his jacket. ‘Is that Okay for you, Aileen?’

She nodded. ‘I couldn’t stomach stew three days in a row.’

‘I could always tell her we’ve run out of stewing beef next time she comes in.’ He walked towards the jukebox in the corner and slotted in the coins. A burst of the Everly Brothers’ Wake Up Little Susie brought a smile to Aileen’s face.

The girl brought their food, along with a plate of bread and butter and a pot of tea. Aileen poured, then milked and sugared the drinks while Dermot tucked in. He stirred his tea and leant back in his chair.

‘I’m sorry about your Aunt Lizzy, Aileen. You know, we couldn’t manage without the three of us. Ma never comes into the shop; she hates the sight of blood. She sticks to the house cooking and cleaning. We employ a boy to help with deliveries on Saturdays.’

He put down his knife and fork and looked up at her. ‘I’m sure Mr Maguire will get back into things soon. Your mother’s death hit him hard.’

‘I know.’ She glanced down at her plate. ‘But he knows the shop is our bread and butter.’

‘Perhaps that’s why he wants your aunt to stay on, you know, to help. You can’t do everything, Aileen.’

She prodded a chunky chip with her fork and dipped it into the centre of the egg. The bright yellow yolk ran out over the chip, and she popped it into her mouth. ‘I’d work my fingers to the bone if it meant getting rid of her.’

‘That bad, eh?’ He fondled his ear. ‘What's happening with your secretarial course? You were quite keen a few weeks back.’ He began eating again, mopping his plate with bread.

‘Well, that was before, you know, Ma’s heart started playing her up.’ She placed her knife and fork together on her plate and bit her lip.

Dermot rummaged in his pockets and paid the bill. ‘Come on, let’s take a walk.’

They ambled happily arm-in-arm. City lights were coming on, but the town was quiet for a Tuesday. ‘O’Connell Street’s not the same without Nelson’s Pillar. I still can’t believe it’s gone.’

‘It was criminal. Now the dust has settled, I wonder what they will replace it with? Whatever it is, it won’t be the same,’ Aileen concluded.

Dermot took her hand. ‘Look, Aileen, if you’re doing nothing Friday night, we could go to a late night showing at the Adelphia, if you want?’

‘Yes, I’d like that.’ Anything to keep her out of the house and away from her aunt was agreeable.

That night, outside in the shop doorway, Dermot kissed her for the first time. It was so unexpected it caught her breath. He drew her close and looked into her eyes then gently pressed his lips to hers. Surprised at how it made her feel, she relaxed against him. He kissed her again, more passionately. She drew back, her face flushed.

‘I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,’ Dermot said.

Aileen smiled. It felt good to have someone care about her. Her life had become lonely since her ma’s death.

 

When Aileen went inside, the place was in darkness, so she switched on the kitchen light. Her father had gone to his bed. Her aunt was asleep in the armchair, her hand around the neck of a beer bottle. The fire was out.

The room had been rearranged back to how it was before. Aileen switched off the light and went to her room.

She lay awake for some time, going over things in her head—her ma’s last wish, and the lovely warm feeling she had experienced when Dermot kissed her.