I had long forgotten who I was. Like everyone, experiences in life chipped away at what made me simply sacred—my union with God. It’s a subtle sickness that eventually takes you over. Mostly a confident child, I grew to become utterly confused about my place in this world. Avoiding and hiding were tactical choices I made that only reinforced my proverbial weak spine. Why was I hiding? Who was I hiding from? Who was I? I was haunted by these questions—that is, until Holy Spirit showed up with better questions, questions that had the power to propel me somewhere new.
God knew me. He had never forgotten. So, He armed with me a pen, and I suddenly felt ten—no, twelve feet tall. Flattering me with questions, He showed me that my mind was creatively articulate and the light He created within me was brightly exposing—illuminating what had long been forgotten. He told me that as I wrote, my voice would grow stronger, wiser; God—such the exhorter.
He believed, so He spoke, and it was so.
I believe, so now I write; now I sow.
If you know me, you know I’m a narrative non-fiction junkie. I specifically like documentaries because through storytelling they reveal true events. So, naturally, in the middle of some night in 2013, I watched a Netflix documentary on pastors who gamble. Yes, I confess, I was fascinated by these literal holy rollers, so I tuned in with eyes and ears wide open. But it wasn’t the dice throwing that these Bible-touting pastors held my attention with. It was a singular, inconsequential moment in the documentary when a young pastor, who influenced a congregation of hundreds, said that he’d never tell his parishioners that they could hear from God today. A hot heat rushed to my face.
Mostly a mellow gal, I was surprised by the way my body had a physical reaction to what was apparently a grieved heart. Big, hot tears fell from my eyes when I recognized, likely for the first time, the passion I carried for people knowing God through hearing His voice. I couldn’t imagine where I would be without His presence, vision, and wisdom, which are all experienced prophetically.
Fueled by imaginings of thousands of people not knowing they could experience the most beautiful, gracious voice ever, I opened up my laptop and emailed my pastor at the time, Jay Bean, a short note to explain that I desired to begin teaching people how to hear from God. Surprisingly, I got a response minutes later with a yes! This is the work my hands have been set to since that night so many years ago!
Sometimes you’ll discover what you’re called to in the most practical of ways! Sometimes it’s not lightning bolts or dreams of Jesus telling you what you’re to be about when you discover the passions of your heart. Many times, when the advocate for the oppressed to be free is triggered within you, it reveals exactly what the work is that’s been set before you. You may not have the answers for how to do it, but God will begin to give you vision and insight for it. I’m telling you, it’s then that you discover real joy. Also, a little side note about passions—you’ll know if you are passionate about something or if it’s simply a hyped-up opinion that you have by the action you take. If it’s passion fired up within you, you’ll muster up the courage to do something about it. If it’s just an opinion, you’ll get over it within days and you’ll carry on until the next thing you disagree with hypes you up. If God is the source of your passion, you’ll find His favor waiting for you at the “Yes,” along with an anointing of His grace to empower you far beyond your capabilities. If it’s simply hyped disagreement that feels like passion, you’ll have to use your own hot air to gain the momentum you desire, and that is exhausting.
Pastor Jay gave me a handful of weeks to begin working with people who desired to grow in hearing God’s voice. I didn’t know what I was doing. All I had going for me was that I trusted Holy Spirit would not leave a single person desiring to know God out in the cold. And I was right. Our group was full, and when word spread about it people who lived in other states asked if I could form an online classroom. Before long people from all over the country were awakening their own prophetic voices and growing in their personal relationships with God. Holy Spirit showed up in the most powerful, beautifully sincere ways.
Being a bridge for people to experience God didn’t just start out of the blue because I watched a documentary. I had been leading people into hearing God for themselves within my dayto-day relationships up until that point, but I didn’t recognize the need to actually begin formally equipping people until I acknowledged that there were people out there, like me, who had actually been equipped to shut down their God-given ability to hear God’s voice. Injustice was staring me in the face, and the Holy Spirit was upon me to be an advocate and a helpmate for those who were experiencing God but had no one to talk to about it. Avoiding and hiding could no longer be the tactical route I used to retreat; instead, I was charged to take responsibility and action. I was awake, and suddenly I began to remember exactly who I was, who I always had been.
This is my story. I pray that hope will be sown into your heart, longings rekindled, and that you live in the wake of the revolution that afforded you an exuberant life.
Please proceed with the understanding that this book is not simply testimonies of my supernatural encounters with God; it’s an invitation. Through the testimonies and teaching in this book, God will be inviting you to experience His mercy, love, and joy firsthand. Grab a pen, because at the end of this story I will provide you with devotional moments so that you can begin discovering your identity through knowing God and hearing His voice.