Natalie flipped the steaks on the grill and checked her watch for the dozenth time. Why was Linn’s appointment taking so long? If she’d known it would go so long, she would have joined her at the doctor’s office after her appointment with Kyle. She’d expected Linn to be here after she’d returned from the grocery, and now she was getting worried. Natalie had had sufficient time to start cooking, and the boys had put up all the decorations. What if something was wrong with Linn or the baby?
Oh, she should’ve just postponed her appointment with Kyle and gone with Linn. Maybe something was wrong, and Linn was there all by herself.
Don’t be such a worrywart, Natalie. Doctors run late all the time, especially obstetricians. She was just getting ready to call Dr. Hart’s office when she heard the front door open and shut.
“I’m out here, Linn,” she called through the screened patio door. She slid the screen open, glad the boys were playing next-door with Brandon so she and Linn would have a chance to talk. Linn was wearing a smile, and everything in Natalie went limp with relief.
“Everything went OK, then?” Natalie asked.
Linn nodded. “It took forever, though.” She crinkled up her nose. “And the exam was, like, so embarrassing.”
“I know. Believe it or not, you’ll get used to it. At least Dr. Hart is a woman.”
“No kidding. I can’t imagine letting a strange man do that to me. Oh, and I got to hear the heartbeat! That was so cool.” Linn’s excitement was contagious.
“I wish I could’ve been there,” Natalie said. “Did you set your next appointment? Will they do an ultrasound?”
“Dr. Hart thought they should ’cause I’m so far along and ’cause of my age, I guess. They set it for next Tuesday. Can you come?”
Natalie smiled as a rush of anticipation went through her. “I wouldn’t miss it. They can tell the sex now, you know.” It occurred to her that maybe Linn wouldn’t want to know. “Unless you don’t want to know.”
She shrugged. “I think it would be OK.” Linn went to the grill and checked on the steaks. “Actually, it would be great.” She glanced back at Natalie before turning to the steaks again. “I’ve kind of started a journal for the baby. You know, just thoughts and stuff I’m having while I’m pregnant. I was thinking you could, like, give it to him or her later.”
Natalie’s heart squeezed. “Oh, Linn. I think that’s wonderful. What a beautiful gift. Someday this child will be able to read your thoughts and know how much love you had for your baby.” Natalie’s eyes burned.
Linn nodded but didn’t turn to look at her, and Natalie wondered if she was having trouble getting her emotions in check.
Finally, Linn turned and gave a watery smile. “Would you look at me? This is supposed to be a celebration, and here I am getting all weepy.”
“Linn!” Alex called as he ran to the patio. “Did you see our decorations?” Taylor followed him, his chubby little legs working hard to keep up with his brother.
“I sure did! You guys did great.”
“Let’s celebwate!” Taylor said.
Natalie and Linn laughed.
“I think the steaks are done,” Linn said.
Natalie retrieved the baked potatoes from the oven and took the phone off the hook while Linn stacked the steaks on a plate. They’d decided to eat in the dining room, where the boys had put streamers of crepe paper around the walls.
Since the dining room opened up to the living room with the vaulted ceiling, they’d tied the balloons to the back of the chairs to keep them from getting away. Natalie had set the table with her ivory tablecloth and gotten out the delicate china she and Keith had received as wedding presents. They’d only been used a handful of times and didn’t have a chip or scratch on them. Watching Taylor settle into his chair beside her, she hoped she could say the same thing by the end of the evening.
Linn took a seat next to Alex, against the wall, while Natalie distributed the steaks, cutting one in half for Alex and Taylor.
Alex picked up his fluted glass and sipped the milk from it. “This is fancy, just like TV.”
She dished out the French-cut green beans, giving the boys a tiny serving, and watching Alex’s nose crinkle up.
“This smells heavenly. I’m so hungry,” Linn said.
“Me, too. I skipped lunch.” Natalie put a hand on Taylor’s as he was about to shove a bite of potato in his mouth. “Wait for prayer.”
Finally, they were all settled around the table, and it grew quiet. Natalie held out her hand for Taylor, and Linn joined in until they were all connected.
“We have so much to be thankful for.” She looked around the table at her boys and the young woman God had brought into their lives. “Not only has God blessed me with two wonderful boys, but He’s brought you into our lives, Linn.”
Though Linn looked down at her plate, Natalie could see she was pleased. “You’ve enriched our lives just by being you, and we’re grateful we’ve had the chance to get to know you.”
“And she plays a wicked game of Uno, too.” Alex’s serious expression only made the comment more comical.
Natalie chuckled, then paused a moment until the room grew serious again. “I’d like to offer a prayer of thanks now.”
Everyone bowed their heads. Natalie closed her eyes and took a moment to formulate her thoughts.
“Our dearest heavenly Father. We are so grateful for the love You have for us. For keeping us safe and giving us peace and joy. Right now, we’re so thankful that You’ve brought us together at this very special time in our lives. Thank You for making Linn the special person she is, and for helping her see the dear value of the life she carries. Thank You for this wonderful opportunity You’ve given me to raise another child. What an awesome responsibility. I pray that You will help the boys and me to be everything this child needs.
“Bless us now and keep us safe. Help us to bear with one another and love one another. Help us to be fully committed to doing whatever task You have for us, always keeping You first in our lives. For it’s in Jesus’s name we pray, Amen.”
“Amen,” Linn said, her glassy eyes focusing on Natalie.
Natalie picked up her goblet and held it in the air, waiting for Linn and the boys to do the same. Alex quickly caught on, but Taylor only watched with furrowed brows.
“Put your glass up, dummy,” Alex said. Before Natalie could correct him, he apologized.
Taylor put his glass up as high as he could reach. “Are we gonna get the baby now?”
Linn chuckled. “No, sweetie, it’s not ready to be born yet.”
“And sides,” Alex said, “we don’t have no baby bed to put it in yet.”
“My arm’s getting tired,” Taylor said.
“To Linn,” Natalie said. “For her willingness to share the most precious gift in the world.” Natalie started to clink her glass with Linn’s, but Linn pulled back.
“And to you and the boys,” Linn said. “For being willing to love and raise this baby.”
Natalie and Linn shared a smile, and for a sweet moment, it felt as if their hearts were connected by a string. “Here, here.” They all clinked glasses, and nobody said a word when Taylor’s milk sloshed out a bit.
The boys mimicked the way Natalie and Linn took a sip from their goblets and set them down.
Before they could pick up their utensils, Linn started to get up. “Wait a minute. I have something I want to read to you. I wrote it this week in my journal.” She scooted her chair out and dashed around the table and up the stairs.
“I’m hungry. Can we eat?” Alex said.
“Wait a minute. Linn has something special she wants to share.”
“Where’s the baby?” Taylor asked.
“It’s still in Linn’s tummy,” Natalie said. “But in a few months the baby’ll be born. Would you like to help feed the baby?”
“I will. I ain’t changing no diapers, though,” Alex said.
Natalie thought she heard a car pull into the drive and sighed. She didn’t want their celebration interrupted. It was probably Paula or Hanna dropping by to chat. She got up and peeked out the picture window.
Keith. A ball of disappointment formed in her belly. Shoot. Of all the people she didn’t want showing up right now, his name topped the list. He was picking up the kids tomorrow morning, so why was he here now? He got out of his car, so she walked to the front door at the base of the stairs to head him off. She swung it open as he was getting ready to ring the bell.
“Oh,” Keith said. “Hi.”
“Hello, Keith.”
“I tried to call, but it was busy.”
“We’re kind of in the middle of something …”
Keith glanced toward the dining room, where the boys were starting to eat despite her request to wait for Linn to return.
“I didn’t miss a birthday, did I?” Keith asked, referring to the balloons and crepe paper.
“No, it’s something else.” The boys would no doubt spill the beans about the adoption tomorrow. That was OK. She wondered briefly how he’d react. “What are you doing here? We didn’t get our arrangements mixed up, did we?”
“I was wondering if I could pick the boys up a couple hours early tomorrow. I was thinking of taking them up to Jenny Lake.”
“Sure, that’s fine.” She just wanted him gone. “We’ll see you then.”
“Found it!” Linn called from the top of the stairs. Natalie could hear her bounding down the steps behind her. She was about to turn and tell Linn to slow down, but she saw Keith’s eyes widen, his jaw go slack. Natalie turned in the direction of his gaze.
Linn. She’d stopped three steps up from the foyer, a look of pure shock on her face. Her body frozen as if it were in a cryonic deep-freeze. All the blood had drained from her pink cheeks, leaving them pasty white. Her eyes looked as if they’d just spied a semi-truck getting ready to barrel her over. The journal slipped from her hand, clanking against the sofa table before hitting the floor.
“Lindsey … ,” Keith rasped.
Natalie heard the word from over her shoulder.
Then the name registered. Lindsey?
Lindsey. Lindsey. She looked from Keith, then back to Linn. Inside her, fingers of dread curled in a tight fist. Why was he calling her that awful name? The name that had ripped their marriage in two? Why were they staring at each other as if they’d seen ghosts?
The horrible heaviness in her gut spread to every part of her body. It was Linn, not Lindsey. Right?
They didn’t hear the question. It only bounced around her mind like a super ball gone wild. This was Linn. Her Linn. She looked back to Keith. His eyes had narrowed as he looked at Linn.
“What are you doing here?”
She looked at Linn. The girl’s eyes swung crazily from Keith to Natalie. What was it on her face? Shock? Terror? Yes.
And guilt.