The day dawned bright and clear, or so Fritzy told me when he entered. Evidently, he had followed behind Elsa, who brought trays of food into the sitting room. Fritzy poked his head between the bed curtains. “We managed to sleep in for once. You will not believe the time,” he said.
“Try me anyway,” I said jokingly, sitting up with a stretch.
“Nine o’clock in the morning!” his voice had a distinct sense of excitement.
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, why didn’t you wake me?” I pulled the curtain aside and searched for my slippers as I exited the bed.
“I only awoke a short time ago myself, I assure you. No worries, the boys are down working in the study already. Klaus relayed they were quite occupied and for neither of us to hurry down. Therefore, I took the liberty of having breakfast served here.” Franz moved across to the sitting room and poured some coffee. I excused myself to head for the lavatory. I joined him after washing my face, brushing my teeth, and handling other necessities, including clothing.
“Hard to believe we both slept in,” I said, sipping hot coffee and eying the items on his food tray. I must have acquired an appetite while sleeping.
“Seems ages since we’ve counted more than five hours of sleep at a time,” Fritzy said before taking a large bite of sausage, which was quickly followed by a cinnamon roll. After finishing my coffee, I refilled my cup and decided to dive into my tray. Lifting the lid, I found all of my favorites. Greta was too good to me, and I appreciated it. The following twenty minutes were quiet. We both reveled in the leisure of breakfast in bed, so to speak.
As if the pot were magic, Elsa appeared with another, just as I was pouring the last into our cups. She whisked away the empty dishes and pot with a deftness born from experience. We thanked her and her parents, and she was off.
“Sandy, I cannot promise a lot just now. The pain of losing Amalia, well, you understand. I believe I would be able to commit to appreciate and enjoy my life, though. Amalia’s spirit deserves some peace. If I can provide that to her, I must try.” He turned to me, “When I begin to slip back into my usual self, remind me of what I just said, would you?”
“The code word will be ass.” I could not help but laugh.
“Touché, but perhaps we could try something less vulgar. How about just using ‘Franz’? After all, we never do unless introductions are involved.”
“Yes, you are the modicum of decency. Let us not be vulgar.” This caused us both to laugh. “It would be nice to see you live for yourself for a while. I appreciate your drive to stick around for your family, but it is hardly a fulfilling reason.”
“Sandy, if it were not for you, I would have been next to Amalia in the first month. You are correct in my living for others and not myself. However, I stick around for you. We swore an oath, and I will not be the one that breaks it.”
“How would you like to begin this new venture to enjoy life?”
“Well, I thought I would begin with learning Morse code.” He stood up, and I felt compelled to stand with him. He reached out, grabbed my hand as if to shake it, and threw an arm around me. The hug was solid but brief. An “I’m sorry” was whispered as he released me and turned to leave. I whispered a prayer that he would be able to find his way back amongst the living. Was the vision of Amalia enough to sustain a complete change over the last nine and a half years? The coming months may well overshadow any attempt at a happy, enjoyable life. Time would tell what was to come, although I was hopeful. Some sense in the back of my mind told me that he would not make it back to the man he was before her. The shadows surrounding her death were too overwhelming.
I headed for the lavatory and what I considered one of the most brilliant works of art in my home, my shower. Half an hour later, dressed, and ready to go, I descended the stairs into the vestibule. No sign of anyone, I headed down toward the study. The laughter rang out, leaving no doubt of the location of our guests.
Equipment covered the large table. A Morse code chart covered part of the wall. Will, Karl, and Henry were all laughing as Karl tried to tap out more colorful words than they would likely ever transmit. I took my place in an empty spot at the table, and, after some additional light bantering, which included Henry’s favorite term for me when agitated, “Austrian Tosser,” he began anew with the lesson.
I learned that the Mark I radio is beautifully simplistic. The radio only transmits and receives Morse code. The necessary components were the receiver, the transmitter you tapped the code on, power, and a frequency crystal. Power could come from almost any lower voltage source, like automobile or motorbike batteries, outlets, and generators of all kinds. The frequency crystals were a type of plug containing quartz crystals. The simplest explanation is that a crystal converts mechanical energy into an electrical vibration or oscillation. Different plugs or crystals transmit at different frequencies. There were additional components, such as headphones and an antenna cord. The cords could reach up to one hundred feet. This was practical here in a stationary place, but a lot to carry around. Hence, the second suitcase had additional transmitters, antenna, headphones, crystals, etc. The radio staying here would use the antenna on the mountain. The one traveling to Vienna would take the cord.
Henry gave us ‘Peter Piper’ as the first transmission, which resulted in a festive round of every possible dirty version we could think of. We did eventually master the transmission. I do not feel it would be a stretch to say no one in the room had any trouble tapping out the letter ‘p’ ever again. Dot-dash-dash-dot became part of a nonstop rhythm that plagued us all for several days. In the end, Henry expressed his apology as follows; with poetically proposed profound penitence. The pun went unappreciated. The morning went by in the same rhythm. A light dinner was announced around noon, and we all happily left our little transmitters behind, relishing the break from our studies. We gathered in the dining room. Karl inquired about the table in the study, establishing the conversation topic for the meal. Afterward, everyone excused themselves for a half hour or so. We gathered again at 13:30 promptly in the study.
Our second round of Morse Code practice went much more smoothly. I had started off having a rough time, switching c’s for k’s and y’s for q’s almost every time, but by the afternoon, my accuracy had improved dramatically. Fritzy struggled the most in the beginning. By evening, his accuracy was flawless, regardless of how fast the message was sent or received. The duo of Karl and myself occasionally missed a letter but rarely.
“Damn it, Franz, you never ran Morse even once. How in the hell are you more proficient in one afternoon than us?” Karl asked accusingly.
“Now, Karl, don’t be jealous of your betters.” Fritzy barely had it out of his mouth and Karl was out of his chair. Fritzy bolted from the room, with Karl close behind.
“And that, Henry, will call an end to today’s training, I believe.” A crash rang out in the distance as I spoke. Henry cringed, but Will and I laughed, knowing full well Karl had caught him. “Shall we retire in preparation for supper, gentlemen?” I used my most aristocratic posture and a high nasal tone, sweeping my arm out for them to lead the way. We left everything in place. Morning would bring more training. Franz and Karl were nowhere in sight as I excused myself and made my way to the kitchens. Klaus’s hands held a large platter of thick steaks. Greta, at the block, must have just cut them.
“Are we to dine on the entire beast then?” I joked, coming around into the kitchen.
“Mein Herr, how are you this evening?” Klaus asked, then continued before I could answer, “I would be lying, Mein Herr, if I said we had not considered cutting larger steaks for three of you.” He winked, and Greta rang out with laughter.
“No guessing who those three might be. I am quite well, thank you, my sincere appreciation to you both for making everyone comfortable this morning as Herr Franz and I slept the morning away.”
“It is good for you both to get some rest. You both work much too hard,” Greta intervened, which took me somewhat by surprise as she rarely spoke. Part of me wanted to contradict her. Experience and a look from Klaus told me to accept the compliment gracefully. With that, I expressed gratitude again and excused myself, armed with the knowledge that it would be an hour until supper. I retreated to the study, grabbed the phone, and closed the door behind me. The cord easily reached the other side of the room. I rang the operator and had her put a call into Vaduz. I went through correspondence while I waited, sorting what truly was correspondence, and what required attention, and putting them in the proper places. The operator rang back five minutes later and connected the call. Eva’s voice sounded distant over the connection. My heart filled as I heard her excitement, though.
“Alexsander, Alexsander, are you there? Oh, my darling, I am so happy you rang.”
“Yes, my love, I am here. Your voice is so beautiful.”
“Your timing could not be better, Alexsander. We are just back from our charity work. Mother and Auntie keep me so busy. I do not know how they do it some days. I thought my business was a handful. Your words of warning in the duties of being a lady of a house were not strong enough.” Her laughter almost brought me to tears. I longed to hold her, to kiss her.
“Alexsander, are you there? Did we lose the connection?”
“No, darling, I am right here. I am just enjoying the sound of your laughter. I did try to warn you. Your position carries many obligations. Do not let them run you to ground, darling. If it is too much, tell them so.”
“Oh no, we do well, and I am getting quite acclimated to it. Your mother and aunt are both such wonderful, patient teachers. Father and Uncle are equally joyful to be around. I learn so much every day, Alexsander. I always thought you all just laid around being waited on all day. Nothing could be farther from the truth.”
“Some do, my dearest. Many families do not perform services of any kind. Our families have always found service to be a duty. They were raised, just as they raised us, to be of service wherever one can do one’s best.”
“Alexsander, I love you so!”
“I love you, Evangeline. You are in my thoughts at all times.”
“As are you, my love.” Conversations rang out in the background of the call.
“Alexsander, we are dressing for supper. Will you call again soon?”
“Of course, darling, go dress. Give everyone my best. Sleep well, my love.”
“Oh, Alexsander, I long to be with you. I love you, darling, sleep well, goodnight.”
“Goodnight, my dear.” and the call ended. The love of my life sat only a few hours from me. And here I sat, trying to make a difference–for what? Frustration crept in. I returned the phone to its cradle, put it on the stand by the door, and headed to my bedroom.
Initially, changing into dinner clothes seemed the only goal. In the room, I found Eva consuming me. The feel of her, her smell, the touch of her hands. I questioned everything. I saw no point in any of the work we were doing. Then she crept back into my thoughts. A vision of her, naked, crossing the room appeared before me. Supper would need to wait. Dressing for supper turned into a long hot shower first.
As I entered the dining room, it seemed all were waiting for me.
"Your lazy ways and impropriety need to come to a halt," Karl said in a stern voice as I entered.
He sounded just like Brother Joseph when we were kids in school. Laughter went the rounds.
"My lazy ways are feeding you tonight, Brother Joseph, so put that in your robes," I said, taking my chair. Immediately, Klaus appeared with sparkling wine and glasses. At first, I thought to inquire about the occasion but decided to see how it all played out. Klaus and Elsa filled all the glasses, and Henry stood first.
"Jim, there are no words to express my gratitude for your generosity and sacrifice. Thank you for all those you have helped and will help in the future through your actions. Cheers!" Henry raised his glass, and everyone joined in draining the first of what would be a few. Henry remained standing as Klaus and Elsa quickly refilled everyone's glass. "Now, there is the little matter of your betrothal–as hard to believe as it is that anyone would have you!" Laughter rang out again before Henry continued, "May you and Eva find only love in each other's arms all your days, Cheers!" With another round of glasses drained, Henry nodded and resumed his seat. Will rose next as glasses were filled yet again.
"Jim, we couldn't be happier for you. We cannot wait to meet her. Of course, we will be your groomsmen. Thank you so much for insisting!" Will and Karl both burst into laughter, clearly at ease with their surroundings, and Karl jumped up quickly.
"I second that!" he roared jovially, and everyone drained their glass again. Another round of refills. Karl remained standing while Will took his seat.
"Seriously, though, Jim, I wish you every happiness. I also need to express the difference you have helped us make. Every day, Will and I can get people out of Vienna. We can keep the Christian Socialists alive and assist storm squad members to stay hidden, all due to the properties and finances you and Franz's families have provided. We never discuss what we have done, only what we need to do. For one moment, everyone needs to acknowledge the sacrifices we have all made to date, both personally and financially. Zum Wohl!" With that, Karl drained his glass. We all acknowledged each other and followed suit. New bottles were opened, and the glasses filled again as Fritzy rose.
"Sandy, I still think you should leave all this to us and run away with that lovely woman waiting in Vaduz. However, I know you will not turn your back on Austria until you can do no more. You gave me purpose when we started this eight years ago. It has become my life, and I am grateful to the three of you for everything you do for this country daily. I am grateful for everything you have done for me too. No offense, Henry." He nodded toward Henry in acknowledgment before continuing, "To my brothers in school, arms, and life, Zum Wohl!" Franz made a point of touching everyone's glass, acknowledging them. "Now let's eat," he finished, and drank his wine in one gulp before resuming his seat.
I told Klaus to hold for a moment before refilling the glasses again. I took mine and stood, waiting patiently, and looked at each person in turn, starting with Fritzy.
"There are no words to express the gratitude and good fortune I feel having each of you fighting for this cause with me. In honor of those we have lost and those who still stand beside me, Zum Wohl!" As I resumed my seat, I added, "You had better show up to the wedding dressed in proper groomsmen attire, gentlemen; that goes for you too, Henry!" Everyone laughed except Henry, who looked slightly stunned. He stood, came around, and shook my hand, thanking me.
The steaks placed on the table seemed larger than when I had seen them in the kitchen. More wine flowed, and all consumed vast amounts of food. Laughter, jokes, and light-hearted teasing made their way around the table. Fritzy engaged in rare form. It had been years since I had seen him joyfully participate. He seemed almost the man he had been before her–almost.
After an exquisite black forest küchen with a mocha coffee, we entered the sitting room. Will seated himself at the piano. Then the songs began. At first, we sang songs from school. Then we sang a few current songs before a song from the war appeared. I made my way to the harp case and removed it. Moving to sit close to Will, we played the old anthem, the anthem we had grown up singing. “Gott erhalte Franz Den Kaiser.” Franz and Karl sang while we played. Henry sat listening to every word. The four of us finished with tear-filled eyes. The memories of 1918 surrounded us with our teenage ghosts. A few moments passed, and Will began the Emperor Concerto, Beethoven's No. 5. I joined in, and the mood changed. Franz moved to pour digestifs in the form of schnapps and we all raised a glass. Taking our seats, we began a light conversation. Everyone came out of their melancholia except Fritzy. To the others, he most probably seemed fine. The shadow had returned, though. A half-hour passed before we said our good nights and made our way up the stairs, strung along in a loose line. I slid closer to Fritzy and said in a faint voice, "Franz, perhaps you would swing by for a moment." He instantly turned, realizing what I had said.
"Yes, allow me to change. I'll be over directly." With that, he turned down the hall to his room.
I went to the wardrobe closet and changed. It took a few moments to wash my face and grab a fresh ewer of water and a couple of glasses. Taking them to the sitting room, I resumed my seat from this morning. Franz appeared later, looking worse than he had in the sitting room.
"You know why they call it wine, Sandy?"
"Yes, for the tendency to find yourself whining too much. It has never been a drink we did well with."
"Doing great, though, most of the day and night. Credit for that, at least."
"‘Gott erhalte Franz Den Kaiser’ raised a lot of ghosts. Not one of us was okay at the end of it. Even Henry looked a little green after that."
"All the death always brings me back to, well, you know."
"Fritzy, say it, say it out clear and strong. It always brings you back around to…"
He sat quietly for a moment. The shadow of grief consumed his eyes.
"All the death brings… Amalia's death back full force every time."
"Let's talk it out, Fritzy; you need…"
He cut me off immediately, "NO! How do you know what I need? No, I will not discuss it, she, she…" Tears fell in streams from his eyes as he stood up and left.
Damn it, damn, Mother Mary, comfort him in his time of sorrow. His endless time of sorrow. If he would talk it out. I thought of Eva, and my heart broke for him, as it always did. Eventually, he would have to face the fact she is dead. "God help me help him." I drank a glass of water and stared at the black velvet sky littered with glistening white dots.