CHAPTER 8

ven as the two friends were deliberating, events beyond their control were already taking shape in Perry Pleaser’s office in Ottawa. The prime minister wasn’t feeling too hot. He had just returned from a disastrous national meet-the-people tour. Out there in Vancouver, he had plunged into a crowd in a shopping mall, saying, as was his habit, “Would anybody like my autograph? Or possibly some of you would like to kiss my hand? Go ahead. I don’t mind.” But when the people stepped forward it was to throw rotten eggs at him.

They pelted him with tomatoes in beautiful downtown Edmonton. They hissed him in Toronto. They heckled him in Montreal, where a man stood up and shouted, “If you’re so clever, Perry Pleaser, tell us how long was the Seven Years War?”

“I do not respond to trick questions.”

The people hooted. They howled. Perry Pleaser retreated to Ottawa and summoned Professor Wacko Kilowatt to his office. “Wacko, what am I paying you for? Tell me how to restore my popularity.”

“By doing something heroic,” Wacko said. “Like what?”

“What made Saint George such a hero?”

“He slayed a dragon.”

“Right.”

“But there aren’t any more dragons.”

“I just happen to know where one can be found.”

“And you want me to slay it? Wacko, what if I got hurt?”

“There will be no risk to your person.”

“In that case,” Perry Pleaser said, leaping onto his desktop, “lead me to him. I’ll pulverize him! Wait! Are you sure I can’t get hurt, Wacko?”

“Absolutely.”

“And am I really going to be a hero, Wacko?”

“Yes.”

“Then let’s not waste another minute. To arms, to arms! Lead me to that dragon!”