Maria’s sweet voice greeted us when we entered Devlin’s house. I dropped my bag and rushed down the hall to see her. She stood in the middle of the room, wearing a pale-yellow tank top with flowers and a pair of jean shorts. Her dark, curly hair surrounded her little cherub face. She held a new teddy bear in her hands while more stuffed animals lay at her feet. Devlin was crouched in front of her, his face filled with so much adoration, she could have asked him to hang the moon and he would have found a way to do it.
I understood how he felt.
When I stopped in the doorway, he gave me a quick glance before he returned his attention to Maria. I smiled at seeing the most uptight man I have ever met let a little girl wrap his heart around her finger.
“Did you want to keep one?” she asked.
He smiled. “I think you should take care of them.”
She nodded, her chin striking her chest. “Yeah. They will get sad if I don’t keep them.”
“Hi, sweet girl,” I said, making my way toward her.
She whipped around. Her eyes rounded as she stared at me. Her face looked puffy, and her eyes were red as if she’d been crying. I eased down, bringing myself to her level, trying to keep the wince off my face, and braced myself. Maria had a tendency to launch herself at me. And I just knew the pain would be unbearable if she managed to ram her knee into my abdomen.
“I see you, Aunt Cole,” she said finally.
Marta walked over and took her hand. “See, Mija? She’s fine.” She tried to urge Maria over, but the little girl wouldn’t budge. Marta gave me a sad look, her mouth turning down in a frown. “She wouldn’t stop crying when I tried dropping her off this morning. She kept insisting you needed her.”
I cocked my head to the side. “What do you see?” I asked her, remembering her telling me she could see me sometimes when she’s dreaming. Most children her age would have had little experience with the outside world to influence their dreams. Maria had more than most. Given her abduction and abuse she could have suffered countless nightmares recalling those memories. But Marta said she hadn’t. So, when she said she dreamed of me, I didn’t know what to think.
“He hurt you?”
“Who, sweet girl?” I asked, opening my arms. Damn the pain.
She pulled away from Marta and launched herself at me. And yes, her knee struck my abdomen hard. I swallowed the discomfort as I rubbed her back.
“The bright one,” she said between sobs.
I looked up at Marta in question. She turned away. “Marta,” I said, trying to draw her attention back to me. “Does Maria have active magick?”
Marta refused to look at me. I wanted to press the issue, because it was obvious to everyone in this room that she did, but Marta had shut down. And no matter how many times I asked, she wouldn’t answer until she was ready.
She called Set the Bright One. That had to mean something. And despite my not confirming who she was referring to, somehow, I just knew. He did, when manifesting, look bright.
I glanced over at Rachel. She nodded, tapping her head as she studied Maria, who still hadn’t stopped crying. Mind magick. Easing her away from me, I stared into her tear-filled eyes. “I’m fine, sweet girl.” I let my gaze go a little distant. A pale orange light surrounded her. Marta and I had to talk.
She looked down at my stomach. Reaching out, she placed a single finger on the spot Set had cut. “Hurt?”
“No, not at all,” I lied.
“Your mother is coming to pick her up,” Marta said. I had completely forgot my mother was watching the kids.
My first instinct was to get up and run out the room like a child. I didn’t want to face my mother. I damn sure didn’t want to be forced into facing her, which was exactly what was going to happen. My mother wasn’t the pouting type to take offense at my reluctance. She, like myself, would see it as a challenge. We were so alike in so many ways.
I eased up, keeping hold of Maria. If I let go, it would hurt her, and I wasn’t about to do that.
“Maybe I should wait in the other room,” I said, looking at no one. They all remained silent. I started for Alek’s room and stopped. I was being a coward. Why? Because my parents had kept something painful from me? If I could take away the pain Marta’s kids experienced—wipe the memory completely, I would. So why did I have such a hard time understanding why my parents did it for me?
A knock at the door drew all our attention. I stood frozen in place with tears building in my eyes. My heart grew so heavy with sadness, it felt as if it were being shoved down inside of me. I squeezed Maria’s hand and she squeezed mine in return. It was all the courage I needed.
“I’ll get it,” I said.
Marta came and took Maria’s hand. I smiled my thanks, turned, and walked with hesitant footsteps to the front room.
I stood in front of the door, my hands clammy with trepidation, and as I reached for the door, suddenly I was a teenager again, coming home late and knowing my parents were waiting on the other side of the door. Back then, it wasn’t fear that kept me from going inside. It was the knowledge of having disappointed them yet again. They never yelled. If they had, I could have lashed out despite knowing I was in the wrong. No, they always met me with a quiet disappointment in their eyes and a lecture filled with love.
And I could only feel shame and resentment for them making me feel that way.
The doorbell sounded; its chime jarred me out of the past. Finally, with my hand firmly around the knob, I yanked it open.
My mother’s vanilla scent rushed out and wrapped around me in a familiar embrace. I gasped at the onslaught of pain that suddenly rode through me. She wore a pale green sundress that clung to her damp skin. My father loved her in those dresses. Another memory of them surfaced. This time, it was their endless puppy-love that always embarrassed me.
“Nicole,” she said, her voice hesitant while her eyes danced with joy and sadness.
“Maria’s in there,” I said, my voice thick with melancholy. “Come in.”
I turned away from her love and motioned down the hall. She reached for me, and I hurried away like a coward.
I sank to the floor just inside the room and tried to avoid making eye contact with her. Maria rushed over and sat down on my lap. I was behaving like a damn child.
Marta’s words floated through my mind. “Don’t let anything keep you from a relationship with them.”
“Bonjour, everyone,” my mother said, walking into the room.
Devlin walked over and took her hand. “Anne, how are you?”
She smiled at him. “Fine, just enjoying my time with the kids.”
“Four kids.” He shook his head. “They must be a handful.”
My mother laughed. Oh, how much I missed her laugh. “Only Maria. She is such an energetic little one. But Fi’ keeps her entertained.” Her accent thickened. It always did when her emotions were high. Rachel was the same way. Almost as if they found more comfort in their native tongue.
I turned and stared at her. Alek glanced at me. I could feel the weight of his eyes—not judging, just encouraging me to take the first step.
I’m trying. Fuck knows I want to. It’s just too damn hard.
No matter how much I wanted to call her mommy again, feel the joy I felt when I was four and she would chase me around the house because I didn’t like wearing clothes. I’d hide them, not even realizing all she had to do was go in my room and get more. Or the times she would come in my room and lay down beside me and tell me tales of ancient times. Stories she made up to amuse me. She always told me the stories in French to help me learn the language.
I turned away, despite the anguish inside of me. Stubborn to the core. I gave Maria another hug. She patted my back as if she knew I needed the comfort.
“Are you ready to go, Maria?” my mother asked.
Maria smiled and ran over to her. “Yes, Aunt Cole fine now. Can we get ice cream?”
“Yes.” My mother bent down and kissed her forehead. “We can get ice cream.”
Marta scooped Maria up, along with her stuffed animals, and headed toward the door.
Her familiar vanilla scent washed over me. The smell that screamed home and safety. She kissed my forehead and a single tear slid down my cheek. Fingers under my chin, she turned me toward her. “I miss you, my sweet girl.”
“I miss you, too, Mommy,” I said, trying to put on a brave face. The look in her eyes said it wasn’t working.
“Your father wants to see you,” she said.
I turned away. “I’m not ready.” Which was too bad because I missed my father so much, I couldn’t breathe.
“My stubborn girl.” She kissed me again, said goodbye to everyone, and left.
When I heard the door shut, I pushed up from the floor and ran into Alek’s room.
Stopping short of flinging myself across the bed, I eased down the wall and laid my head back. My mind felt too full. My heart too broken. And I just needed a minute to collect myself.
The door opened and Alek came in. “You okay?”
I laughed as tears streamed down my face. “Not at all.” I looked up at him. “But what else is new?”
He came over and crouched in front of me. “Forgiveness is hard,” he said, placing his hand on my knee. “But you have to try and forgive your parents. Despite the pain. Holding all of it inside of you will eat you up.” He ran a finger down the side of my face, drying my tears. “I don’t want to see that happen to you.” The rawness in his voice made me wonder if he was speaking from experience. He never talked about his family. Or why they disowned him. But I knew it bothered him.
I swiped my hand across my face. “I just need time.”
He extended his hand, and I took it. The warmth of his palms against mine helped steady me. He pulled me into a hug, and I wrapped my arms around him, hearing his heartbeat in my ear. His hands slid up my back, cupping the back of my head. I leaned back so I could look at him. His dark blue eyes penetrated mine. Slowly, his head came down. His breath tickled my face, and I knew if I didn’t stop him now, he was going to kiss me.
“Alek,” I breathed out, trying to convince myself we should stop. But I didn’t move.
The way he looked at me wasn’t out of lust or sexual need. It was the way Steve used to look at me. With pure love and adoration in his eyes. Like I hung the moon and the stars, and I knew that wasn’t right. I couldn’t handle this amount of caring. I didn’t deserve this type of love.
But I craved it.
My stomach quivered with anticipation. Alek slowly moved closer. Our breaths mingled. I shoved down the doubt and moved with him. Our lips were so close now, I could practically feel them on mine. My eyes grew heavy. I leaned in, wanting to close the last millimeter between us.
Then someone knocked at the door.
We pushed away from each other. I was going to kill the person on the other side of the door. And from the murderous look in Alek’s eyes, he was going to kill them, too.
“Is Nicole okay?” Marta asked.
I sighed. I’d completely forgotten why I had run in the room. “Yes,” I cleared my throat. “I’m fine.” I was not fine. My body thrummed with need, and I couldn’t do anything about it.
“Okay,” she said hesitantly.
“We better go fill everyone in,” Alek said, resting his forehead on mine.
“Maybe they can wait a little longer.” I put my arms around him.
He smiled, bent down, and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. “Later.”
He walked out the room before I could respond.
Everyone but Alek was seated when I entered the room. Waiting. I took a seat next to Marta, choosing to forgo my assigned seat. I needed the comfort of my friend at the moment. Alek set a mug of coffee in front of me and I smiled up at him in thanks. After a few sips, I placed the mug on my desk and told them what happened last night with Jordin and then Set. I figured we would cover the gathering at some point, but I had to prepare myself for it.
Devlin leaned back and laced his fingers together behind his head. “Why did Set stop?”
“I don’t know. But…” I looked at Marta. “When did Maria tell you something was wrong with me?”
Marta wrung her hands together, her lips thinning. I knew this was hard, but we needed to know. “She woke up around one and started screaming. She just kept saying your name. Then a minute later, she just fell back against the pillow and went to sleep.”
The room grew silent. Finally, Devlin said, “Alek? What time did you get to Nicole’s house?”
“It was a little after one,” Alek said with anger and frustration in his voice. “So, I just missed the bastard.”
I got up and walked over to him. “You can’t defeat him,” I said, taking his hand. “Hell, I don’t know how I did, either.” I lifted my shirt. “He didn’t use magick to do this.”
“I would have tried,” Alek said, his eyes locked with mine.
“Nicole’s right,” Devlin said. “He seems to, thus far, only be able to interact with her. We need to figure out how. I’m also curious as to why he waited so long.”
“Oh, well thanks, Boss Man. I guess my safety isn’t a concern,” I said and immediately regretted it. “Sorry,” I said before he could respond.
“Your emotions are high, Nicole. Trust me. We understand.”
We? I swallowed the lump in my throat. Devlin was right, of course—my emotions were all over the place. Otherwise, I would have understood what he was saying instead of snapping at him.
“Thanks,” I mumbled. “I think…well, the few times I’ve felt his presence in my apartment. I got the distinct feeling that he was trying to manifest but couldn’t.”
“So, we need to find out what’s changed,” Devlin said.
I nodded. I did not want the focus to be on me. But it was also important I find out how, after all this time, Set was finally able to fully manifest in my apartment again. And what kept him from doing so before. Otherwise, no place was safe.
He stared at me. His eyes searching. “Rachel told us what happened at the gathering,” he said hesitantly. “Are you up to giving us your impression of the evening?”
I bit my upper lip. It was either now or never. After taking a deep breath, I went over what happened and my assumptions about why. Devlin asked me to repeat the order of events a few times, and Rachel was curious when the herbs had started affecting me. She had already got the information from Kara. Marta went from shaking her head to cursing in Spanish. Jonah kept asking about the specifics of what the room looked like and if there were any ritual items being used. He even asked the specifics, aside from sex, of what the women were doing. Neither Rachel nor I could recount any of those details.
When I was done, Jonah said, “I don’t think The Women of the Vine are a cult.” We all stared bug-eyed at him. “Most of faith magick deals with creation. But it’s also used as a way to channel power. Prayer circles are designed for this. But in some cultures, sex magick is also used. As far as I know, the practice died out in the early fifties. However, some believe it merely went underground.”
“Do they use blood magick as well?” I asked.
Jonah shook his head no. “But…” He paused. “I’m wondering if it could account for her aura. Divine Evil, from our understanding thus far, needs to be achieved.”
Devlin looked at Rachel. “Did you test the wine?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I can’t determine the spell she used on the grapes. But there isn’t anything else in them. It had to be the herbs.”
“Or the combination of the two,” I said. “Together, they acted like ecstasy.”
Rachel agreed.
I hesitated. I wanted to ask her about her immunity to poison. But I also didn’t want to put her on the spot. “Umm…”
“You want to know why I didn’t react?” she asked.
I sighed in relief. “Yes.”
“It works like your protective mark. Most of the women in my family have an immunity to substances used in magick. It’s what makes me expel magick all the time.”
I thought about what she said. She and Alek drank coffee she created to help replenish their magick. I’d been drinking the coffee as well. She’d also told me recently that my magick looked overcharged. Could I be expelling magick, too? I made a mental note to revisit that thought. It wasn’t important. Besides, we had too much on our plate already.
Devlin got up. “I’m still curious about the wine, and if Jonah is right, we need to understand Gavina’s ritual more.” He looked at me. “She was interested in your magick for a reason. We need to know why.” He scrubbed his hands down his face. “Alek and I will visit Petronela to get more leads on Logan and Unrie. When we get back”—he glanced at me—“the three of us can check with Luisah about the Ark and also see if she has any information on how one would become Divine Evil.”
He looked at Marta. “Marta, see what you can dig up on the wine. I’ve never heard of the brand before. See if they are selling it exclusively, and if so, compile a list of people buying it. Maybe Gavina isn’t the only one using it in a ritual.” She nodded and opened her laptop.
“Rachel, finish locating the properties of the families associated with Tribe. Start compiling as much as you can on them. Including family trees. I don’t want us to be caught off-guard if they do decide to return to Tulare.”
“Jonah, talk to your contacts. See if you can find more information on sex magick. If anything, we need to confirm blood magick is not involved.”
He looked at me. “Let Rachel check your wound and then get some rest. We’ll come get you before we go to Luisah’s.”
“Do I look that bad?” I asked. I was not looking forward to confronting Luisah.
“Do you want me to answer that?” The look on his face suggested he really wanted to.
“No, Boss Man!”
He fought a smile and turned away.
Alek kissed me on the cheek. “See you.”
“Um…okay.” Why did I suddenly feel like a teenager?
Alek and Devlin left, and Jonah stepped out of the room.
Rachel got up. “Take your shirt off. I’ll go get my supplies,” she said, walking into the other room.
“I seem to be exposing myself a lot lately.” I pulled off my shirt. Pain raced across my stomach.
“What else is new,” Marta said, her tone teasing while she stared at my stomach.
I grinned at her. Slowly, I removed the new gauze. I didn’t want Rachel ripping it off.
“It doesn’t look so bad,” she said, moving closer. She placed a cool hand on the barely visible scar.
In the short time it took Alek and me to drive to Devlin’s house, it had healed even more. Just one more strange thing about me I needed to get answers for. But as long as it wasn’t something life-threatening, I wouldn’t worry about it.
Rachel came back in the room. While she examined my wound, I asked, “Hey. Jonah said you used healing magick on Devlin to make him calm down yesterday.”
She leaned back and studied me. “You want me to help you, too?”
I lifted my hand. “No. I was just curious about it.”
She resumed her study of my wound. “It’s something the women in my family can do. We push or magick out, creating a sense of peace. Dev can usually maintain his control. But…” She sighed, leaning back again. “I’m worried about everyone.”
I touched her hand. “We’ll be okay.
She smiled and stood. “Might have to kill a few people before we are. You want something for pain?”
I pulled my shirt down. “No. No, I’m good.” I didn’t dare chance taking something she created for pain. There was no telling what she would put in it.
Rachel walked out of the room.
“She’s a little intense,” Marta said.
I nodded. “Yeah. You’ll get used to her.”
While Rachel and Marta worked, I did think about getting rest. But I couldn’t just lay there and do nothing. Besides, I knew sleep would not come easy. Not until I confronted Gavina.
So, when Jonah came back in the room, I asked him to give me a ride to my apartment so I could retrieve my car. When we got there, I’d have to come up with a reason why I couldn’t follow him back. One that didn’t involve the truth.