When it came down to it, giving Jonah a load of bullshit so he would overlook me driving off alone after what happened last night wasn’t going to work. So, I opted for the truth. I might have rambled on a bit, but at least I was honest. And when I was done, he told me he would follow me and park out of the way so as to not draw any attention to himself. I would have kissed him, but Kara might have hurt me. So, I settled on a quick hug, hopped in my car, and made the long journey to Hollingsworth Manor.
My reason for going was personal. Gavina had pushed me off-balance, and until I confronted her about the violation, my mind could not rest. Our investigation required my full attention. I’d already spent a great deal of time on an emotional rollercoaster. It was time I did something about it. Besides, there was no way I was going to let this slide.
But I had to do this on my own. Jonah, god bless him, understood that. I doubted Devlin or Alek would have. No, they would have wanted to protect me. I didn’t need that right now.
And who knows, maybe I could confirm if she was in fact practicing blood magick once and for all. If she said no, I would walk away and deal with her another day. If she said yes, well, I had packed my gun. And of course, the knife Devlin gave me was wedged between my breasts. If she didn’t drug me, I might be able to pull it out and stab her.
Now I just needed to find the right words to say that wasn’t a string of expletives.
The apple tree was the first thing that caught my eye when I parked in front of Gavina’s house. According to the Bible, it was the fruit that gave mankind all its knowledge. Given to Adam by Eve because a snake had tempted her into eating it. I never did like that story. It implied women were weak and easily manipulated.
And if time and history have taught us anything, that bullshit belief was simply not true.
Women could be manipulative, yes. But we were hardly responsible for all of mankind’s sins.
I parked closer to the end of the driveway and walked up the slight incline to the house, steering clear of the gardens. I didn’t want calm right now. Only rage.
A thick, gold rope with a tassel at the end hung to the side of the mahogany double doors. I pulled it, and a loud melody rang out. A few minutes later, a familiar woman opened the door.
Monique.
A red ribbon held her long black hair away from her makeup-free face. She wore a pair of red shorts and a tank top with no bra. As she stared at me, her mouth stretched into a beautiful smile, making her green eyes light up.
“I hoped I would be able to see you again,” she said, stepping forward. Her eyes roamed down me briefly. This close, I could smell a sweet, floral scent wafting off her.
“Yeah. Hi,” I said, feeling a little off-center. I hadn’t counted on running into anyone from the gathering last night, especially not her.
Her face fell. “You’re not here for me, are you?”
I shook my head no, unable to voice my feelings. Last night, I had been ready to sleep with this woman. Looking at her now, all I could feel was…confusion. Yes, the wine and the herbs had something to do with my attraction to her. But some of that residual appeal was still there—just not enough that I would ever act on it.
She gave me a sad smile. “Well, it was a nice thought, anyway. Are you looking for Gavina?”
“Yes,” I said, still a little tongue-tied.
“She’s not here. She took some of the girls with her to drop off wine to our clients.”
“You don’t sell it in stores? I thought…” I trailed off. This was information I shouldn’t have known.
“It’s okay. I would have checked us out online, too. No, we advertise it online. We only sell to exclusive clientele.” She stepped back. “Did you want to come inside and wait? I’m sure she would be happy to see you.”
I was sure she would, too.
“If anything, you can come in out of that heat,” she offered.
After a brief hesitation (I did not want to seem too eager), I stepped inside. Monique closed the door, and I broke out in a cold sweat. Fuck. Maybe this was not such a good idea. A phantom scent of Gavina’s sickly sweet breath seemed to hang in the air. The image of her hovering over me naked coalesced inside my head. There had been a hunger in her eyes. An animal-like craving for the magick I held inside of me.
Monique placed her hand on my back, and I jumped. “Sorry,” she said. “You just seemed a little lost for a minute, there.”
I shook my head. “No. I’m fine. Just had a rough night.”
“Yeah,” she laughed. “The wine can be a little potent. It takes some getting used to.”
I didn’t correct her assumption. “What’s in it? I mean besides grapes.”
She signaled toward the door. “You saw the apple tree, right?”
“It was hard to miss.”
She gave me a warm smile. “Yeah. I like to sit under it during the night. Well, on nights we aren’t gathered in the Divine space.” She hugged herself, her eyes lit with joy. “Anyway, a single apple is used in each batch of wine. Gavina said it gives the wine its sweetness.” She leaned in. “It also helps lower inhibitions.”
“I’ve never heard of apples being able to do that.”
“Oh.” She laughed. “Not on their own, no.” She extended her arm toward the hallway leading toward the Divine space. “There are other plants used.” She hesitated. “I could show you.”
She seemed way too eager to help me. I studied her for a minute, trying to find deception in her eyes or body language. She watched me, her face growing more and more unsure.
“Are you sure you’re allowed to show me?” I asked.
She sighed. “Honestly, I was hoping I could entice you to stay. Maybe even…” She stepped back. “Sorry. I sound a little desperate.” She pulled her ponytail over her shoulder. “Did you maybe want something to drink?”
I shook my head. “Two glasses of that wine was more than enough.”
She laughed. “No. I was thinking maybe tea or coffee or water.”
“I could use a cup of coffee.” I paused. “It’s just coffee, right? Nothing else has been added to it?”
She raised an eyebrow in confusion. “I would call you paranoid, but I guess I understand after last night. I know Juliette invited you. I assume she didn’t tell you what the gathering was about.”
“No. She didn’t,” I said, not keeping the anger out of my voice.
“We are encouraged to bring new members in. Juliette finds hers at church. I don’t go to Boyd’s services. I know they’re a sham. I usually go with Gavina to deliver the wine. Some of the clients bring friends that we can invite.”
Damn. It was a pyramid scheme. Only, there was no selling involved. Just sex. “She told me Gavina invited me.”
She gave me a strange confused looked. “Well,” she started, nodding. “I guess that explains why she asked me to study your magick. She told me it was special and wanted me to see how powerful you were.” She shook her head. “Let’s get that coffee.”
I hesitated. If Gavina had asked her to study my magick, she had to know something was up. And sadly, the only way I was going to find out was if I followed her into the kitchen.
We took the left hallway and entered an enormous kitchen done in chrome, white, and stainless steel. Splashes of color could be found in the appliances. Monique indicated I could take a seat at the large island bar and went over to an elaborate red coffeemaker sitting on its own cabinet.
“It took me a while to get used to all the gray in this room,” she said as she worked the machine. “A few months after I got here, I asked Gavina if I could add some color.” She pointed out a few items in the room. “The coffee machine was my idea, along with the red tea kettle and red popcorn machine.”
“How long have you been here?” I asked. The rich coffee scent filled the air, making my mouth water. I had planned on only taking a few sips, but the smell was just too tantalizing. Please don’t let it be poisoned.
“I’ve been here two years.” She stood at the counter, staring down at the floor. “I first met Gavina at the church. My husband—” She shook her head. “Correction: My ex-husband and I had come to Tulare to visit his grandparents. They took us to the service.” She looked up, locking eyes with me. “My marriage was crap. My husband, abusive. I’d been trying to find a way out.” She smiled, her eyes going distant. “Then Gavina spoke to me. Told me she could heal me and all I had to do was let her inside.”
I suppressed a shiver. It was the same phrase Gavina had said to me.
“I will heal you. Just let me inside.”
“Is it too cold in here?” Monique asked.
I shook my head.
She watched me for a while, concern etched across her face, until finally she said, “After that, it was easy to leave him. I moved here a week later.” She swallowed and turned back to the coffeemaker. “Do you take cream or sugar?”
“Oh, no. Just plain, please.”
She set a mug down in front of me. I inhaled the tantalizing aroma. “What kind of coffee is this?” I asked, taking a sip. The jolt of caffeine had me blinking my eyes rapidly. “Strong,” I said.
She smiled. “It’s Kenyan Peaberry.” She sat in the stool next to me, picked up her mug, and blew on her coffee. “I’m a bit of a coffee snob. Picked up the habit from my ex. Gavina was nice enough to give me the money to continue it.” She took a sip. “I hate cream and sugar, too.”
“What did your husband say when you told him you were leaving?”
“He slapped me and said he was going to see some friends and I should have dinner ready when he got home.” She laughed. “That was the last time that bastard put his hands on me. I left after he did. And haven’t heard from him since.”
I started to tell her about my own ill-fated nuptials, but it would send the conversation down a personal path that might give her the wrong impression. It was too bad, though. I did enjoy her company.
“So, how often do you have to bring in new members? And where do they all stay?” I asked.
“Oh, we only recruit when others leave.”
I raised an eyebrow in question.
“Gavina believes some of the women become too afraid of the freedom she offers. It can be scary letting go of all those societal rules and just…being.”
“How many have left?”
“I’ve been here two years. Twelve women have left since then.”
I made a mental note to have Rachel see if she could find some names. I doubted asking Monique would be wise. But there was one thing that was bothering me: Jonah believed sex magick might be the answer. And for us to know if it was, I needed to ask about their ritual. Damn, this was going to be embarrassing.
“Does everyone sleep with each other?” I asked in a rush.
She smiled. “Yes. But not outside of the Divine space.” She leaned in. “Well, that’s not true. Some have developed relationships and end up together. Gavina doesn’t mind, as long as they are able to participate in the gatherings.”
“What is the purpose of the gatherings? Besides the sex?”
“It’s not just sex. It’s Enlightment and freedom and the best damn magickal orgasm you will ever have.” She closed her eyes as if she were savoring the memory. “It goes on for hours. Pulsing through you in this wave of energy.”
“And where does all that energy go?”
She opened her eyes. “We simply release it.”
I could guess exactly where the energy went. Into Gavina.
“So, you all live here? With Gavina and Boyd?”
She laughed. “Oh, gosh no. Boyd and Xavier live down the road. Gavina doesn’t pretend to be married outside of church. She married him to appease her parents and to have children.” She laughed. “I thought you knew that.”
I shook my head. “Why stay married, then?”
Monique shrugged. “Convenience. Who knows? She doesn’t talk about it much. I do think some of the girls sneak Xavier in when Gavina is away.”
Interesting. We had to find out exactly where Boyd and Xavier were living. It could be they were the ones practicing blood magick.
Monique eased off the stool. “Did you want me to show you?”
My eyes rounded.
“No,” she said in protest. “Not that.” She paused. “At least, not unless you want me to.” She waited, and when I didn’t respond, she continued, “No. I can show you the room and the outside garden.” There was a note of hurt in her voice.
I stood up and reached out to her. After a brief hesitation, she took my hand. “I’m sorry. I’m not attracted to women.” I smiled. “But if I were…” I trailed off, unable to go much further than that.
She ran her thumb over my fingers. “I understand. I hope I didn’t upset you.”
“Not at all. It’s actually kinda flattering. And I’ve been hit on by women before.”
She gave me a knowing smile. “Okay. Well, did you want to see the room?”
Yes. I did want to see it. But not for the reasons she was thinking. Despite what I’d said, I knew she was still actively trying to recruit me. If I hadn’t liked her, I would have charged forward without a second thought. But I couldn’t do that. She was a kind woman who, I was guessing, was being used by Gavina. I did not want to use her, too.
She tugged my hand. “At least let me show you the garden.” She gave me a hopeful look.
Fuck.
After a short while, I nodded. “That would be nice.”
She didn’t let go of my hand as she led me back through the front foyer and into the familiar room. The plush pillows still covered the floor. I wondered how often they had to have them cleaned.
“This place reminds me of those paintings you see of Greek and Roman orgies,” I said.
She laughed and let go of my hand. “It does, doesn’t it,” she said, gaze circling the room. “I guess I never really thought about it.”
I glanced at her. She turned to me and smiled. “You are truly a beautiful woman,” she said. “And that is the last time I will flirt with you.” She raised her hand. “Promise.”
I smiled. “I told you it was fine.”
She nodded and made her way toward the glass doors leading to the outside. I took a moment to study the room, looking for any ritual items or symbols. Aside from the depictions of women on the walls, there was nothing.
“Coming?” Monique called, standing in front of the open doors.
I started for her and then stopped. “What about Gavina’s daughters?” I asked, remembering them standing in front of the archway leading into the room. “Do they participate?”
“No, they just watch and make sure everyone is okay.” She glanced outside and then turned back to me. “Between you and me, I think they like standing over us, casting judgement. They always have these arrogant looks on their faces.”
They gave me the same impression.
Monique showed me the outside garden. Like the front, it was covered in a plethora of bushes and flowers, some of which weren’t native to Tulare. She told me the earth mages helped keep them alive. What I was most interested in was the small, encased pond that sat right outside the doors with lilies floating on the surface. Nymphaea Lotus, known as Egyptian water lily, and blue lotus flower, both of which could account for the euphoria we felt. And the opium poppy and passion flowers surrounding the pond would only intensify the effects, especially if they were infused with magick.
It was like I had guessed: a magickal form of Ecstasy.
After thanking Monique and telling her I would try and reach Gavina another time, I texted Jonah and told him I was heading out and needed to stop at the drug store. While I had no plans to drink myself into oblivion like I did last night, I did need something to settle the anxiety currently riding me.
And the pain of knowing I couldn’t help Monique.