IT HAD BEEN a month since Aaron had left her alone in that bed. A month since they’d made love. A month since she’d woken up to find herself naked and alone.
The last thing Rosa wanted was to be in Aaron’s office now, especially thinking of that weekend. It made the fact that he’d left her this time worse than when she’d left him.
At least that was what she told herself.
But she had to think of it in that way. In any way that would make her feel better about the turn her life had taken in the last month. If she’d had a choice, she’d still be in Cape Town. Safe, away from Aaron. She’d still be working on her line. On her life.
Instead, she was in Johannesburg, in her husband’s office—the husband who’d left her alone and naked after they’d made love—waiting for him so that she could tell him her news and return to that life she’d created for herself in Cape Town.
Her stomach tumbled when she thought that that might not happen after she told Aaron her news.
The door opened, distracting her as Aaron entered the room. Just as handsome as ever, she thought. More so when he was surprised. She almost smiled at his widened eyes. At the way he tensed.
Good.
And then her stomach heaved in a way that had nothing to do with nerves, and she gritted her teeth. She would do this without throwing up. She couldn’t give him that power too.
‘Rosa,’ he said in a calm tone, but she heard the subtle quaking. ‘What are you doing here?’
Fairly certain the contents of her stomach were back where they belonged, she replied, ‘I’ve come to see you, darling husband.’ She stood up—dramatic flair had always made her feel more confident. ‘At least that was what I told your secretary. Turns out he still believes we’re a married couple.’
‘Of course he still believes it,’ he said in a low voice, closing the door behind him. He set his briefcase on the chair next to the door and walked directly to his bar. ‘That’s what we are.’
‘Could have fooled me,’ she said through her teeth. ‘I didn’t realise married couples left each other naked after a passionate night of reconciliation without so much as a word.’
His skin darkened slightly. ‘Don’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘You’re not as innocent as you’re making it seem.’
He took a healthy sip of the alcohol. Jealousy stirred inside her. She would have liked to have something to dull her nerves before she told him. Hell, she would have liked to dull everything inside her. Except, in her current state, she couldn’t.
Which brought her back to the real reason she was there.
‘Fortunately, I’m not here to discuss the tit-for-tat turn our marriage has taken,’ she said swiftly. She walked around the desk, stood closer to the door. Closer to escape when she needed it.
‘Then why are you here?’
‘Because it seems our—’ she swallowed and told herself it would be best just to get it out ‘—because our night together has led to a...consequence.’
‘What con—?’ He cut himself off, his eyes lowering to her stomach, and she resisted an urge to put her hand on her abdomen. She wasn’t sure where that urge had come from. She’d been strangely detached from the news that there was a life growing inside her since she’d found out. Detached. Alone. The way that life had come to be—how that had ended—was the only explanation she could think of for why she felt that way. Or the only explanation she allowed herself to think of.
‘Are you...’ he started, and then his voice faded before he cleared his throat. ‘Are you telling me you’re pregnant, Rosa?’
‘Yes.’
She straightened her shoulders. Drew up her spine. This was the reason she’d worn another one of her designs. Confidence. Courage. This time it came in the form of high-waisted pants and a blue shirt.
‘How...how... Are you sure?’
She’d rarely seen her husband so frazzled. ‘I’ve taken multiple pregnancy tests.’ And had hated herself for it. It seemed like something her mother would have done. ‘And had it confirmed by my GP. It’s still early, as you can imagine. But it’s there.’
‘But...how did this happen?’
‘I wasn’t taking the Pill any more. It didn’t seem necessary.’
He made a disbelieving noise. It felt as if he’d slapped her. ‘What?’
‘I didn’t say anything,’ he snapped, and began to pace the length of the room.
‘No, you didn’t,’ she said. ‘But that sound you made implied something. Almost as if getting pregnant was some kind of plan. As if the unwilling and unknowing part I played in your mother’s misguided fairy tale plan was meant to end up like this.’
Her stomach turned again and she held up a finger when he opened his mouth, pressing her other hand to her own mouth. The wave of nausea had barely passed before another took its place and she strode to the door of his bathroom—thank heaven it was adjoined to Aaron’s office—barely making it to the toilet in time to empty her stomach.
Which was strange, she thought as she heaved, since the only thing she’d managed to choke down that morning was a dry piece of toast and black rooibos tea. But there it went, followed by a few extra lurches of her stomach.
She flushed the toilet and sank down to the floor. It was refreshingly cool, though a moment later she felt an even colder cloth pressed to her forehead. She knew it was him before she opened her eyes. Saw the concern—and something else she couldn’t place—on his face.
‘I’m fine,’ she said and tried to stand, incredibly aware of the fact that she hadn’t rinsed her mouth. Steady hands helped her up and, exhausted, she couldn’t summon the energy to be annoyed at his assistance.
She’d expected it, hadn’t she? It was part of why she’d left him in the first place. Because she hadn’t wanted this to be her life—to be his—if she were sick like her mother.
Ignoring the irony that had brought them to this point anyway, she asked him to get her handbag. And when he left gave herself a moment to take a quick breath before she washed her face and patted it down with the dry end of the towel he’d given her.
She was pale, she thought as she looked at herself in the mirror. The skin under her eyes looked bruised, and the light brown of her hair somehow looked darker because of it.
But she told herself not to be too concerned about it. She’d already been there, worrying about all the possibilities that had made her look and feel that way. It had pushed her into making an appointment with a psychologist, but then she’d missed her period and postponed that appointment in lieu for one with her GP.
Aaron returned with her handbag, and thankfully gave her space when she rummaged around in it to find the travel toothbrush and toothpaste she’d started carrying when throwing up had become the norm.
She made quick work of it, and then took another breath before walking out to face Aaron again.
‘Better?’ he asked in a clipped tone. She frowned. How had she possibly annoyed him by throwing up?
‘For now,’ she answered mildly. ‘You?’
His expression darkened, and there was a long pause before he said, ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted that way.’
‘You didn’t really react. Besides when you implied that I somehow tricked you into making me pregnant.’ At his look, she shrugged. ‘You know that’s how you made it seem. And, if I recall, you were as much into the activity that got us here as I was.’
Though she hadn’t thought it possible, he looked even more peeved than he’d been before. Not that it surprised her. She was purposely being contrary, but it was the only way she could cope with what was happening. And again, she’d give herself permission to do just about anything if it helped her cope.
‘Does this mean you’re not accepting my apology?’ he asked quietly, and she lifted her shoulders. ‘Rosa,’ he said more insistently now, and she blew out a breath.
‘Yes. Fine. I accept your apology.’
He folded his arms and leaned against his desk, looking at her evenly. Back to being in control, she thought, resenting it.
‘What did you hope to achieve by coming here today?’ he asked.
She frowned. ‘I didn’t hope to achieve anything. I just came to let you know.’
‘You came all the way to Johannesburg to let me know that you’re pregnant?’
‘Yes. Or would you have liked that information over the phone?’
He didn’t react to her sarcasm. ‘Thank you for coming to tell me in person.’ He paused. ‘But I suppose what I’m actually asking is whether this was a planned trip, or whether it was spur-of-the-moment?’
It had been spur-of-the-moment, something she’d convinced herself to do before she lost the nerve. So she’d booked the ticket, put on the sample suit she’d made for her line, and now she was here.
But she wouldn’t tell him that.
‘I came here to tell you that you’re going to be a father,’ she said, and saw that he wasn’t as unaffected as he was pretending to be. ‘Other than that... Well, no, I suppose I didn’t know what else to achieve.’
‘But you didn’t think you were going to tell me and then just leave?’
Her heart started thudding, reminding her of when he’d said something similar when she’d first arrived at the house on Mariner’s Island. ‘I know we have to talk about things.’
‘Yes,’ he agreed. ‘But more than that, Rosa. We’re going to have to fix this marriage.’
* * *
She inhaled sharply, and then let the air out between her teeth before she replied.
‘That’s a high expectation from someone who didn’t have any intention of doing that a month ago.’
‘Did you?’ he asked softly, the haughtiness of her statement not putting him off. In fact, it did the exact opposite. It told him that she was scared. And he’d contributed to that fear by leaving.
‘Did I what?’
‘Did you have any intention of fixing things between us after we slept together?’
She opened her mouth and then cleared her throat. It was enough of an answer. Enough that he didn’t need her to say anything else.
‘So I was right to make it easier on the both of us by leaving.’
‘Oh, is that why you did it?’ Her eyebrows rose. ‘I thought you left because you wanted to make me know how it felt to be the one left behind.’
‘I’m not that vindictive.’
‘I didn’t think so either. But I had to wonder. Karma, and all that.’ She was throwing his words from the first night on the island back at him. Then she abruptly changed the topic. ‘Your mother called me.’
‘You...you didn’t tell her?’
‘No. I didn’t answer, actually. And then she sent an email saying she hadn’t heard from you since you got back. Asked me whether that was some form of payback. Karma?’ she asked lightly.
Annoyance bristled through him. ‘You know better than to listen to my mother.’
‘She’s right about some things, Aaron,’ she said. ‘She was right to bring us to that island.’
‘Look where that got us.’
Her hand shifted, moving towards her stomach before she jerked it back. Something about the movement irked him. ‘Yes, we’re in a...situation now, but this situation is proof that we couldn’t just walk away from things and hope to never face them again.’
‘I didn’t walk away f—’
‘First?’ she interrupted him. ‘Yes, I know I did that. And I know that I was wrong to do that, especially without any explanation.’ She bit her lip, and then blew out another breath. ‘I saw that on Mariner’s Island when we were talking. And I realised that I should have told you about what I was going through so that, at the very least, we were on the same page.’
Why was she being so calm now? He almost preferred the haughtiness.
‘So you would have tried to fix things between us?’
‘No,’ she said after a moment. ‘But I would have tried to make you understand why I couldn’t. So that when we walked away from one another I’d be able to move forward with a clear conscience. We both would.’
‘Is that what you want to do now?’ he forced himself to ask. Was proud of how he’d managed to ask it without revealing the emotion that was choking him.
‘Partly, yes. We have even more reason to be on the same page now. Without the past clouding things.’
‘What does that mean, Rosa?’ He pushed off from the table. Took a step closer to her. ‘What do you really mean?’
‘We can’t fix this,’ she said stiffly. ‘So maybe your idea of ending things—of filing for divorce—was for the best.’