The next morning at seven, Gem came to get me. The police directed me to call her because she was my mother. They thought it best that she should know what had happened, and like clockwork, she came with a few of her sisters, my uncle, and our relatives and friends. They took me to the hospital to be checked out. They gave me a neck brace to complete my bandaged and contused body. I’d heal physically, but my mental state hung in the balance. It did not help that Lyulle had begun to call my phone also. He was calling now to see where we stood. As far as I was concerned, we were over for good. He still had Brooklyn with him, but I was leaving to go to Akron with my family after being discharged from the hospital. Brooklyn’s little brother was already there in Akron. I had had enough.
There was a short verbal exchange between him and me. I let him know that I was leaving and that there was nothing left in Columbus for me. I had no reason to stay. He’d sent a picture of Brooklyn to my phone. Brooklyn had been crying in the picture and was covered in some kind of liquid. Why he sent that picture, I have no idea, even to this day. My conclusion was that he had done something to Brooklyn to make him cry due to my state of mind. My only hope was that I was making the right decision to leave him there with his father.
That was what this whole war we were fighting was for, I thought to myself, for who gets control of the kids. I would not leave Columbus before this time because I still wanted us to be a family, but I could not be a family alone with a person who hated me, who only wanted to raise the son that he wanted to raise. I would resolve to leaving Brooklyn with Lyulle if that meant I could move past this point in my life.
Gem said, “Girl, yeah, right. If you leave your baby with him, you will never see him again. You need to make arrangements to get him before we leave.”
Gem devised a plan of action. It was a good one, and had she had the right players in her game, she would have saved me a few more months of craziness. Needless to say, that plan fell through. With the help of family, Lyulle agreed to bring Brooklyn to us. He would not be arrested, but we were leaving, and there would be no resolution to follow. My mind was made up. My heart was broken.
In Akron, the ground I stood firm on was actually swampland. I was hurt. I was very confused. I had no idea where to even begin to pick up the pieces to my life. I was angry that things had not worked out between Lyulle and I, with all of that crap I had put up with for a grand culmination of a caravan back to Akron again. I was sunk. My mind was warped. I literally did not know who to trust. My family and friends all looked like enemies to me. Everyone who loved me, I hated. I hated myself and the situation that had befallen me. I was devastated. My family had fallen completely apart, and it was my fault.
Lyulle and I still communicated by phone. He called to talk to the kids. He called to check on me. I spoke with him about how I was dealing with life, and it was not going good. I slept in my car. I would not stay in the house with Gem. I did not want to burden Nana and Mimi. I stayed up and out all night. I was alone and dying slowly. In my mind, I was living a dangerous life. The only person who could understand that was the one I had to be away from for my sanity. I told Lyulle how I felt, but we did not speak about that ass-whooping that got us to where we were, though I wanted to.
He asked for an opportunity to speak face to face. I agreed to meet with him to talk about our mistakes.
I traveled to Columbus to see Lyulle. It was a real crapshoot, but I guess I liked to gamble. He could be luring me down here to kick my ass again. He could kill me, and no one would know it, but what did I have to lose? I thought to myself. If there was a chance that this face-to-face conversation could save my family, then I’d go. Every single time, I would go.
I arrived. I picked Lyulle up from a friend’s home. He’d asked me for a ride to his new place. I could not believe he wanted to show me where he was living. Maybe things would be okay on this trip. We entered a familiar community. It was our old apartment complex, the luxury apartments where we had lived before. He had upgraded to a condo. It was absolutely beautiful. I was so proud of him. I knew that he was grinding hard during that time. I saw how it was paying off for him. I felt awful. I told him I was supposed to be there with him. I was in tears, but he looked pristine. His head looked two sizes bigger, and his body was radiant.
We missed each other. It was apparent in the way we embraced or maybe in the way I embraced him. I missed him, and I was hurting. Quite possibly, the problem had been me all along, I thought to myself. He was doing well. I had fallen apart. Lyulle and I made love that day, and after, we’d passed out. We slept the whole day away. We woke up in the afternoon, but it was already dark outside. It was like neither one of us had slept in days, worried and thinking about the other and thinking about our own individual fates now that we were officially, officially separated.
Lyulle was partially to blame for my recent misfortune, and since I had nowhere to go and where I was, I was uncomfortable. He did what any man would do for his children. He opened his doors to us, but there would be contingencies. Never did he disclose any pertinent information about his newfound lifestyle, and neither did I inquire. I assumed anything I needed to know, he’d share with me openly.