Erotism and BDSM
I see two basic groups within the greater world of kink, one I’m calling “Erotism” and one we all call BDSM.
I think we need a category for people who technically qualify as kinky or “kink-ish” yet who do not feel any sense of identity or affinity with BDSM.
To me, Erotism puts the focus on imaginative sex (rather than MOVA/MOA per se), and helps me mentally classify people who, for example, have an adult diaper fetish but do not in any other way manifest interest in BDSM dynamics (such as master/slave or dominant/submissive); or who or have a preference for specific physical/body types (e.g., amputees, giantesses, BBWs or Bears), but don’t engage in BDSM acts or power dynamics.
It’s an important distinction to make: Erots are not seeking BDSM relationships, even when their fetishes overlap with fetishes common in the BDSM world. So I’m calling the unknown millions of adults who embrace creative and unusual but non-BDSM eroticism as “Erots” and their type of sexual expression “Erotism.”
As with BDSMers, sex drive in Erots seems profoundly intertwined with sexual imagination – the mental landscape for sex is as important as its physical realities. As with BDSMers, Erots are turned on as much, if not more, by their preference/fetish as they are by sex itself (even though, also like BDSMers, they may still only achieve climax from direct genital stimulation). But, unlike BDSMers, they do not seek out power exchange relationships or any of the typical accouterments associated with leather and sadomasochism.
21st century BDSM is best understood as a two-headed phenomenon:
1. A community of inter-connected networks of clubs, parties, and organizations by and for people who identify as BDSMers.
2. Erotic stimulation from a wide range of risk-aware activities, such as bondage, spanking, role-play, sensation play, sensory deprivation, power-ex-change relationships, goddess worship, and fetishes for latex, leather or with a power dimension.
The acronym BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline (B&D), Dominance and Submission (D&S) and Sadomasochism (SM). Although sadomasochism is folded into the acronym, not all BDSMers are sadists or masochists. Some BDSMers are fetishists, some are bondagists, some are spankers, some are into sensual eroticism.
Clinically, only a small percentage of people in the BDSM world meet the diagnostic criteria psychiatrists use to label sadomasochists. More commonly, BDSMers defy the clinical standards, if only because there is no accepted clinical definition (yet) which allows for sadomasochists to have healthy and functional relationships. In other words, emotionally stable BDSMers are not yet accounted for in the psychiatric literature.
As a community, the BDSM world spreads a wide net which covers everyone from curiosity seekers and voyeurs to hedonists, fetishists and long-time, experienced “lifestyle” BDSMers. One can be in the BDSM community without having a sadomasochistic sexual orientation; one can do all the same things as BDSMers privately yet never participate in the BDSM world; and one can seldom do BDSM acts yet feel a sense of devotion and commitment to BDSM/leather culture based on other needs.