While today was great in the sense that Finn took time out of his day to show me Nevada, everything felt awkward. The fact that he regretted last night weighs heavily on my mind. I should’ve stopped him. I should’ve reminded him of our agreement, that he’s paying me to service him, but I couldn’t. I desperately wanted to feel him without the barrier. The move was completely selfish on both our parts, but I knew better. This is my livelihood, reminding men of what’s allowed and what’s off-limits, and sex without a condom is definitely a no for me.
As much as I want to dissect his actions, make myself believe that after almost a week of being together, he’s fallen for me, I’m not that stupid. For a brief moment, when he asked me to stay, I wanted to believe that maybe he wanted something with me, something away from sex. That’s the problem, though; men don’t see someone like me as a long-term commitment, and I’d give anything to change that view, especially where Finn is concerned. Having him in my life, in Morgan’s, is a dream I wish for and I know with one sentence I can change everything.
But he’d hate me and I’d rather leave knowing that Morgan is taken care of. She’s the only reason I’m doing this. Next week, we’ll move into our own place and start a life that will be healthier than what we’re doing now.
As soon as we arrived back from our day trip, Finn went to the office, leaving me to sit and think. It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve seen my baby and I miss her.
“Hey,” Steph says when she answers. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Second time you’ve called today. Either you’re calling because you’re really homesick or you’re calling to tell me you aren’t coming home.” She sighs, before continuing. “And if you told me that, I’d tell you that I love you, but you need to come home.”
“I’m coming home, Steph. I promise.”
“That’s good. Do you want to tell me what’s going on there?”
I shake my head, even though she can’t see me. “I can’t,” I tell her, letting my thoughts wander a bit too much as I look out over the Vegas skyline. I could see myself living here, with Morgan, but we’d be alone and that’s something I can’t do to her. As much as I hate to admit it, I depend on Steph and my mother to help out.
“Are you in trouble?”
“No, I’m not. I’m fine, Steph. More than fine, really. And I’ll be home tomorrow. Will you be able to pick me up?”
“Tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I need…” I don’t know what I need except to get away from Finn and the hold that he has over me. It’s starting to take shape. My mind and body want more than he’ll ever offer. Not that I expect him to change, but there is hope. “I need to be home.”
“Okay, yeah, Morgan and I will be there.”
“Speaking of, is she still awake?”
“Hang on.” Steph calls out for Morgan as I wait patiently, checking over my shoulder every few seconds, wondering if Finn will come barging in. I know he’s heard me saying Morgan’s name and believes that she’s a man. I let him think that because I know it gives him some perverse pleasure thinking he’s taking me away from someone else.
“Hi, Mommy.”
My eyes close at the sound of her voice. Tomorrow, she and I will be cuddled up in a bed in some hotel because I refuse to go back to my mother’s. The money Finn has given me is more than enough to give us a fresh start at a new life. I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, but after tonight, stripping is no longer an option for me. I want to find a career that Morgan can tell her friends about.
“Hey, baby. One more day.”
“I know. I’m excited.”
“Me too. Things are going to be different for us when I get home. No more hiding in closets, okay?”
“Who’s hiding in closets?” I startle at the sound of Finn. I turn just enough to find him standing behind me, leaning against the doorjamb. I swallow hard and struggle to push down the fear that is trying to take over.
“I’ll call you later. I love you, Morgan.”
She tells me she loves me and hangs up, saving me from having to answer any questions.
“No one you need to worry about,” I tell Finn. I turn off my phone and slip it into my pocket. It’s been off most of the time for fear that Finn would answer it. I don’t think that he would invade my privacy like that, but I had to be sure.
He eyes me warily and pushes himself off the door casing. Each step toward me is calculated. My breath hitches when his fingers come into contact with my skin. Finn nudges me gently into the balcony wall, causing me to gasp. I can feel him, hard and ready, as he brushes himself against my lower back.
“My friends want to go out tonight. Do you want to go?” he asks, standing behind me. I shake my head. Two nights with his friends, especially Brady, is enough to last me a lifetime.
“No,” he says verbally for me. “It’ll be a good time.”
“You can go. I need to start packing anyway.”
He nods, but doesn’t pull his fingers away from my skin. It’s ridiculous, but the subtle touches are turning me on. It’s like a preview of what’s to come.
“Our time is almost up. Do you really think I’m going to leave you?”
I shrug, not knowing the answer. After earlier, I thought he’d forgo any more sex. Maybe I’m wrong.
“Foolish thinking, Macey. You’re still mine.”
Yes, of course I am.
“I’ll be here when you get back.”
“Mhm,” he whispers as his lips kiss the back of my neck. Chills run down my arms, spine and through my core. One simple touch from him and I’m putty. He knows this and it’s probably what has made our week of fucking so spectacular. I’m torn about missing him when I’m gone. The loneliness will be heavy, but the burden I carry will be lifted. I’ll have a new life thanks to him.
“I have a better idea,” he says, cupping my breasts. Everything he’s promised has happened. We have fucked in every corner of his house. He’s taken me from behind with my hands splayed out on his floor-to-ceiling windows, on the balcony under the night sky, the stairs, shower, couch, bed, everywhere we could, we did.
“What’s that?” I ask, barely able to form the words without my voice breaking.
“I’ll be right back.” His tone is calm, definite. A man on a mission replaces the luscious sound of his voice, the one making me weak in the knees. The warmth I felt is now gone and the opening and closing of the door are the only sounds I hear.
I lean over the rail, exasperated, wondering how my body can be so responsive to him when deep down I both hate him and love him at the same time. Although, maybe it’s not love that I feel, maybe it’s an overwhelming sense of lust. I lust after him. I desire to have Finn molded with my body, to feel something instead of so much heartache and pain. He’s taken my agony away, at least for the time being. Tomorrow everything will be different. The Finn who rescued me from the club will return. The jaded, cold and calculating man will see me out and wash his hands of me. That’s the Finn I will need to remember. Not the one who makes my body come alive with a simple touch or the lush sound of his voice. That man can’t exist in my world.
It’s easy to lose track of time in Vegas and by the time Finn returns, I’ve stopped counting.
“Macey.” He calls my name from inside his home and I go to him. I’m still on his payroll and will still do everything he asks. Inside the living room, he stands there, holding a bag. From the label, I don’t need to ask him what he’s gone and done. I know.
“The guys want to go to a strip club and I thought—”
“That I’d strip for them?” I try to hide the anger and disgust in my voice, but I know he sees right through me. Even if he’s never called me a whore, his actions tonight will prove otherwise.
“Do you really think I’d let my friends see you?” he asks, setting the bag down.
“What if they already have?” I counter. “How do you know I haven’t given them lap dances or private shows in the VIP room?”
Finn stalks toward me, grabbing a handful of ass as he reaches me. I cry out, but he doesn’t release his hold.
“You’re mine, Macey. And you forget that you’ve met my friends. I don’t believe any of them gave any indication that they’ve seen your tits or felt your pussy graze their dicks. Unless this is what you want. Do you want my friends to come over? Is that your fantasy, to be with three guys?” he asks, sliding his fingers toward my center. “Do you want a dick in your cunt and one in your ass while taking one down your throat?”
“No,” I whisper. A gangbang has never been high on my list of things to try. Neither has double penetration, but sadly if Finn asked me or even instructed me to, I wouldn’t tell him no. For whatever reason, I’m determined to please him, even one last time.
“The thought of seeing you fuck my friends repulses me,” he says, stepping away as if I have some sort of disease or the thought of being with me makes him sick. It angers me that he’s like this.
“Good,” I sneer.
“Yeah, good.” He steps away and points at the bag. “Go change and meet me downstairs at the club.”
I jump when the door slams and fight back a wave of tears. In the grand scheme of things he’s been good to me. Too good considering our arrangement. Taking the bag, I rush down the hall to the closet and empty out its contents. The black garments are pieces of fabric that remind me of my profession and the reason I’m here.
The cupless bra is no match for the crotchless panties I’m putting on. I’m used to my breasts being free, but the panties are another story. The thin straps rest beautifully against my ass, making me feel sexy and surprisingly powerful. I don’t mind that I’m exposed. This is what Finn wants. It’s what he desires and I’ll play into his fantasy one more time. Rolling the black stockings into place, they’re pinned and set before I step into my stilettos and slip on a trench coat to cover me.
Inside the elevator, I press the button for the club and pray that it’s closed. That what I’m about to do will be a private show for Finn. If not, well tomorrow I’m done and I can put everything behind me.
The club is dark and empty except for a man sitting on the circular couch that faces one of the few poles. Every club and casino has stage dancers that stay fully clothed. I suppose they’re for entertainment, or meant to entice you to spend more money. For a stripper, these women get the men horny enough to walk down the road to the actual strip club where they’ll drop thousands of dollars on us. And we very much appreciate the business.
Music starts from somewhere in the club and now I know I’m dancing for two. Maybe even three because when I look at Finn, who is kicked back with one arm on the sofa and a drink in his hand, I realize there has to be a bartender somewhere.
I know what to do. This is my life. The music. The stage. The pole. For ten years I’ve mastered the art of taking off my clothes and tonight I’m going to show Finn exactly what he paid for.
Untying the trench coat, I let it fall to the ground as I take the steps one at a time, crossing each foot in front of the other so Finn can watch the sway of my ass. My hand grabs the cool metal of the pole and something comes alive within me. I lean back, letting my hair cascade and swing around before lifting myself up and performing a mid-air split. Each time I turn, I look Finn in the eyes, making sure he’s watching.
Moving to the beat of the music, I let my hands roam over my body. My hips move, thrusting toward the pole, hissing at the contact every time I meet the cool metal.
“Do you like that?” he asks.
When I don’t answer him, he asks again.
“Like what?” I challenge.
“The way the pole feels against your pussy. Do you like that? Does it turn you on?”
Again, I don’t answer him with words but with actions. I slide down the pole, never breaking eye contact with him. With my hands on my knees, I pull my legs apart so he can see my pussy and I thrust my hips, showing him everything as if this is the first time he’s seeing me. Finn leans forward and rubs his thumb across his lower lip, causing my insides to ache. He’s feasted on me, repeatedly. He’s made me come on his face and his tongue just by the stroke of his fingers. Finn is masterful when it comes to sex, bringing me to the brink over and over again until the ache is too much to bear. He’s there when I fall apart, taking in every second, relishing in the victory.
Finn leans back against the couch and undoes his pants. I watch as my hips continue to move to the music. His cock springs free and now it’s me who’s licking my lips, remembering the taste of him.
The first stroke is slow, methodical. He’s showing me his length as if I haven’t seen him before, as if I haven’t had him buried deep within my walls, bringing me an immense amount of pleasure.
He beckons me with a finger, and each step I take toward him is the same as when I walked up onstage. One foot in front of the other, slow and purposeful. I stand before him, watching as he moves his hand up and down his shaft, and my hands roam my body, staying in time with the music playing overhead.
I cup my breasts, my erect nipples scream out as I pinch and massage them. I continue to dance for Finn, turning around and bending over, letting my hand roam over my ass, pulling my cheeks for him. If we had more time together, I have no doubt he’d fuck me there and I have no doubt I’d let him.
When the music stops, I stand and face him, only to find him rolling a condom over his erection.
“Shame,” I say as I let my finger linger over my tongue. “I wanted to suck you, Finn. I wanted to feel your cum drip down my throat.”
“In due time,” he responds as he holds his dick between his fingers. “Right now I want your pussy wrapped around my cock.”
Straddling him, I hover over his tip, brushing my wet pussy back and forth as I look into his eyes, wondering how he turned out to be jaded and afraid of love. He stares back, waiting. Waiting for me to impale myself on his dick. And when I do, when I finally feel him enter me, I’m lost in a sea of blue eyes that come to life.
The same blue eyes that I stare into each night; the ones he’ll never know about.