I circle back around through Nick’s neighborhood to retrieve my car, stop by Starbucks for two mocha lattes, and pull up to my house to find Abi waiting for me on the front porch.
“What are you doing?” I hiss at her. “What if someone from school were to drive by and see you sitting here? Quick, get inside.”
“You’re welcome.” She stands and follows me into the den. “No, really. It’s no problem. Just because I’ll be up until two in the morning finishing my history essay on the fall of the Berlin Wall doesn’t mean you have to act grateful.”
“Sorry.” I hand her one of the lattes. “I am grateful. It’s just that I’ve been freaked out enough about being outed this afternoon. If Nick had caught me … you were brilliant, by the way.”
Abi sinks onto a recliner and sips at her coffee. “Would that really be so bad?”
“What? If he’d caught me?” I shudder at the thought. “Do you know he was standing three feet away when he came to get that net? I don’t know how he missed me.”
“I mean being outed, being known as the Boyfriend Whisperer. There are some happy couples out there who might want to thank you.”
I roll my eyes. “Abi, we’ve been through this before. Not an option.” First of all, if people knew my identity, it would make my job harder. Second, my guy friends would never let me live it down. Most of them think the whole concept of the Boyfriend Whisperer is absurd. Of course, some of those same guys have unwittingly been whispered, so that shows how much they know. But now, most important, is Chris. I’m pretty sure he’d be pissed to find out he’s been whispered and even more pissed to know it was by me.
Abi scoots forward in the recliner. “It must be killing you.”
“What?”
“Chris and Lindsay. They’re so … kissy face together. It even bugs me.”
It’s true. They’re the ultimate insta-couple. They’ve been together less than two weeks, but it’s like they’re practically married. The worst is at lunch. Lindsay eats with us every A Day now and completely monopolizes the conversation, not to mention the fact that she touches Chris an average of 253.5 times a minute.
Part of me wants to break down and cry right here in front of Abi. Instead, I plaster on the fake smile that has become my go-to expression. “He’s happy. She’s happy. That’s what Boyfriend Whisperer Enterprises is all about.”
Abi rolls her eyes. “Earth to Lexi. Boyfriend Whisperer Enterprises is a product of your imagination.”
“And hard work.”
“Okay, and hard work. But that means it can be whatever you want it to be. Or it can … not be at all. Wait, wait, wait. Hear me out.” She holds up her hands to shush the protest she knows is coming. “Think about this. Nothing lasts forever, especially not high school stuff. That’s what college is for—so we can get away from all the messes we’ve created. You’re always talking about people taking charge of their own destiny. Why not take charge of your destiny and shut BFW down now? Go out while you’re on top?”
“I can’t.”
Abi sighs. “I try.”
I scoot forward and set down my coffee, my voice low. “I need to tell you something. Can you keep a secret?”
She narrows her eyes and purses her lips.
“Right. Sorry. Of course you can.” I shake my head in an apology. “Okay.” Another deep breath. “I’m not planning to shut it down. Not this year, not next year … maybe never.”
Abi’s eyebrows creep up. “Um, Lexi, I hate to break it to you, but your grades are way too high for this plan to work. Unless you plan to purposely flunk senior year in perpetuity?”
“Perpetuity? Nice word.”
She sticks out her tongue. “I’m more than just a pretty face.”
“I never said you were a pretty face. I mean, obviously, you have a pretty face, but I know you’re smart. Anyway. The Boyfriend Whisperer. I want to keep it going even after I’m gone. After I graduate. I was thinking about going to NoVa part-time to take some business courses and some web courses so I can turn the Boyfriend Whisperer into a franchise. I’ll start with Loudoun County schools, but eventually, I want it to go nationwide—a BFW in every high school in the country.”
“Whoa.” Abi waves her hands in the air. “Back up. First of all, NoVa? As in, community college? Lexi, I’m not one to diss community college, but, hello? They don’t have basketball. What are you even talking about?”
I close my eyes. This is a conversation I’ll have to have many times over the next fifteen months if I want to make my plan a reality. “I know it sounds weird, and I know I’m going to sound like an ungrateful brat, but I don’t think I want to play college ball.”
“What?”
“Don’t get me wrong. I love the game. I’d miss it. I’d probably think about coaching at the Y or something like that, but I’m just … over it.”
“What do you mean, over it?”
“The pressure, the team drama, the stats. I don’t want four more years of it.”
“But … wow.” Abi slumps back into her chair and lets out a low whistle. “Have you told your parents?”
I quirk an eyebrow at her.
“Guess not. Holy cow. So not Coach, or Chris, or anyone?”
“Abi, no one else knows about the Boyfriend Whisperer. How could I?”
“Right. So how will you?”
“I don’t know. I figure I have at least until the fall to figure that out. At that point, the colleges are going to start getting super pushy. Anyway, what do you think? Can I pull it off?”
“You? Hells yeah, if anyone can. But are you sure you want to? Don’t you get tired of all the hassle and secrecy and … what is that bruise on your forehead?”
I dab at the tender spot where Nick Garland’s fishing rod whacked me. “Occupational hazard. And no, I don’t get tired of it. It’s fun coaching my clients. And if I franchise the businesses, I’ll get to coach all my franchisees on how to do the same thing for their clients. How cool is that?”
Abi looks doubtful, but she nods. “If that’s what you want, I’ll support you. Or at least cheer you on. With my pretty cheerleader face.”
I laugh and give her a fist bump. “Thank you. That actually means a lot to me. Now, tell me. What’s going on with you and Briggsy?”
“Ugh. Briggs.” Abi sighs, and her eyes grow misty, as they tend to do when the conversation turns to her ex. “Nothing’s going on. We’re done. I’ve moved on.”
The catch in her voice tells me she most definitely has not moved on. “Listen, Abi, I’m not one to say a girl needs a boyfriend. And you of all people can get along just fine without Briggsy or anyone else. You’re smart, strong, resourceful … who else would have thought to tell Nick Garland she had a snake in her car? But it’s obvious you miss Briggs. And he misses you, too.”
Abi trains her eyes on mine. “Did he say something?”
I look away and say nothing. Discretion. Even when it’s Abi.
“Whatever. Like I said, we’re done. I may miss him, but I don’t miss watching him flirt with other girls when he’s supposed to be with me. At least now when I see him flirting, it’s simple jealousy and not humiliation.” Abi sniffles, and I give her a sympathetic smile.
She’s right, of course. Briggs is an insatiable flirt. The thing is, I honestly believe he doesn’t mean to be. He’s just naturally charming and funny and outgoing. I don’t think he even knows how to dial it back. I suppose that can be tough on a girlfriend.
Abi’s phone buzzes. She checks her text and frowns. “Anita Alvarez. She’s our third applicant in the past twenty-four hours.”
I sigh. “Guess it’s officially prom season.”
“Yippee.” Abi takes a sip of her latte.
What can I say to cheer her up? I give her a conspiratorial grin. “So, about Nick’s little sister …”
Her eyes grow wide. “He doesn’t have one, does he?”
“I don’t think so.”
We both melt into giggles.
“Oh my gosh,” she says. “That is so awesome. Nick Garland. Who would have thought?”
“I know, right? With the flannel shirts and the pickup truck.”
“And the bumper sticker that says, ‘I love animals. They’re delicious.’” Abi squeals. “We should get him a My Little Pony bumper sticker.”
“Ah, ah, ah.” I shake my finger at her. “What’s the word?”
She rolls her eyes and pouts. “I know. Mum.”
“Exactly. No one can know.”
“Whatever.” Abi sits up, her face suddenly serious. “So do you think he’s more of a Twilight Sparkle guy? Or Rainbow Dash?”
We both lose it all over again.