I stare at the phone. My heart rate is out of control. I’ve never called a boy before. Well, actually, I’ve called lots of boys—Chris, Briggs, Massey. But not like this. Not to ask a guy on a date. What do I say? What if he says no? Or, what if it goes to voicemail? What then?

Come on, Lexi. You can do this. You’re the Boyfriend Whisperer for crying out loud.

I pace my bedroom and remind myself that I don’t actually even like Jerod. I mean, he’s nice enough. And cute. And it’s possible that I could like him after a date or two. He’s just … not Chris. But Chris doesn’t like me. He’s with Lindsay. As in, with her.

Is that why I’m doing this? To get back at Chris? I don’t let myself think about that. Instead, I take a deep breath and dial Jerod’s number. I think a million thoughts as the phone rings. What if he wasn’t flirting in Virginia Beach? He probably wasn’t. I mean, there were a dozen cheerleaders there, all prettier than me. I must have looked like a big, awkward idiot next to all of them. Just because he smiled at me and complimented my hair, all of a sudden I think he’s in love with me? Maybe he was merely trying to make one of those cheerleaders jeal—

“Hello?”

Ack! Why couldn’t it have gone to voicemail?

“Jerod? Hey.” My voice comes out as a squeak, so I clear my throat. “This is Lexi. Lexi Malloy.”

“Well, hello, Lexi Malloy.”

“How’s it going?”

“Good. Awesome. Especially now. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

I take a deep breath. So far, so good. He hasn’t hung up on me. I haven’t puked. I’m speaking in complete sentences. Mostly. “Um. Well. I was wondering. So there’s this party Saturday night.” My voice shakes. My whole body shakes. Man, I don’t give my clients enough credit for putting themselves out there. Coming up with a plan for whispering a boy is the easy part. Actually carrying it out is torturous.

“Lexi? You still there?”

“Yes, sorry.”

“You were saying something about a party? Because there’s nothing I like better than a good party. I hope you were about to invite me.”

I smile. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For making that easier.”

His voice is deep and warm and smooth. “My pleasure.”

 

 

Dear Anita:

Thank you for entrusting Boyfriend Whisper Enterprises with your matchmaking needs. If you follow my instructions precisely, you are guaranteed to secure a date with Jose Ramos within three weeks or your money back. Your first set of instructions is as follows:

 

I read over my standard introduction. Ugh. It’s all wrong. This poor girl is about to embark on a terrifying journey, and I’m using words like “precisely” and “secure”? Sounds like a legal document rather than a plan for finding love. I hit delete and start over.

 

Dear Anita:

Thank you for contacting Boyfriend Whisper Enterprises in your search for amor!

 

Amor. Is that too much? Anita’s first language is Spanish, but maybe that’s going overboard. Hmm. What if it is? So sue me. I flex my hands and continue.

 

If you follow these instructions, you are guaranteed to win Jose Ramos’s heart.*

 

First, let me congratulate you. You’ve taken a big step by contacting me. But it is only the first step. You have some hard work ahead of you. You will need to be fearless and persistent, but as they say, nothing in life worth having comes easily. You’ve got this!

 

Here’s what I need you to do:

First, rent the 1972 movie The Candidate starring Robert Redford. This is one of Jose’s favorite movies. Watch it and take notes on the debate portion. (It’s actually a pretty good movie if you can get past the hairstyles!)

 

Second, show up at the end of Jose’s Debate Team practice on Wednesday with brownies. He loves peanut butter best, but one of the girls on the team is allergic, so you’d better make them plain chocolate, with no nuts. Remember, these are NOT for Jose, they’re simply a treat for the whole team. No need to be shy—everyone loves brownies!

 

Finally, ask someone on the team—anyone, girl or boy, so long as you ask loud enough for Jose to hear—if they’ve ever seen The Candidate. Mention that it has a great debate scene in it and say that you really enjoy watching good debates. Jose will undoubtedly come talk to you about the movie since you’ll probably be the first person he’s ever met who’s seen it. Share some of your favorite quotes from the debate. Smile and be friendly, but no serious flirting yet. And no further contact until my next email.

 

Good luck! And remember, with Boyfriend Whisperer Enterprises, “Love is but a whisper away.”

 

Sincerely,

The Boyfriend Whisperer

www.boyfriendwhispererenterprises.com

 

* Guaranteed within three weeks or your money back.

 

As I scan the email, my fingers itch to go back in and delete some of the sap. Maybe Chris is right. Maybe I am getting sentimental. I resist the urge and hit “send.” I’ve done my part. Now it’s up to Anita to make it happen.