Day 93

Day 93

I know they mean well, but I really cant take Clarence and Sarah Samuelson telling me how much they can relate to what Im going through because they lost a grandchild of their own. They dont know what Im going through and even if they did, so what? How is that supposed to help me? I just dont know what Im supposed to do with that. But they act like we have this bond now, like were supposed to be so close.

They think we have so much in common because we both lost someone, but I waited my entire life to have a child. And it really does feel like my entire life, but even if you want to just say my entire adult life, I’ve wanted to be a dad or dad and a mom for a very very very very very very very long time. They cant possibly know what I’m going through. I would never say something like that to someone else.

I know they really do mean well, but sometimes it feels like theyre just using me and my grief.

In some ways I feel like they must feel guilty—at least thats what they sound like—and I wonder if they had something to do with the loss of their grandchild.