DAWN
I told Victor the truth. I finally told Victor the truth I’d been holding back for ten years.
And he didn’t believe me.
A few minutes after I made my full confession, he pulled to a stop in front of my home-shaped prison and signed for me not to forget my bag. And that was it.
Our surprise mini-vacation ended with me grabbing my Aggretsuko tote from the back seat and him driving off before the rear door was fully closed.
So I guess he hated me again. I wished, not for the first time, that it was as easy for me to hate him back.
The rest of the day passed by without a peep from Victor—no surprise there.
And, you know what, it didn’t matter that he’d disappeared. Again. That he didn’t believe me. Again.
In fact, this was probably better.
Ten years after the first time he ghosted me, I knew exactly what to do when the silent beast bounced without a word of explanation. Keep it moving, Dawn. Don’t dwell on it. Just take the L and move on.
I focused on my work, just like I had before we agreed to that stupid game of pretend. I threw myself into getting everything ready for my soft presentation the next day and decided being alone was for the best.
With his intense presence and silent refusal to believe me, Victor would have only been a distraction.
And how had I expected the conversation to end anyway? I’d known he wouldn’t believe me. I’d known that for ten years. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be here. I was lucky I got out of that car without him threatening to kill my whole family again if I tried to make excuses for why I’d worked with my father to destroy his.
Still, the disappointment dogged me as I put the final touches on my presentation. And hollow loneliness set in when bedtime rolled around, and Victor still didn’t show up—just like I knew he wouldn’t.
It took me forever to fall asleep. And after I finally did, I tossed and turned and dreamed of terrible things I couldn’t remember the next morning when I woke up. Alone.
Still no Victor, so I didn’t bother with making us the kind of brunchy Sunday breakfasts I’d been going all out for over the last few weekends.
Again, this was for the best. I always got so nervous before speaking in public anyway. The last thing I wanted was pancakes and fruit compote coming up because I was trying to impress my monster of a husband with my breakfast-making skills.
I made myself some coffee, went over my notes one more time, and started setting up the presentation.
I positioned the projector and placed all the extra chairs I could find in the living room so people would have places to sit other than the floor.
I did a dry run of my presentation to make sure everything worked. It did. Still, my stomach was flip-flopping. I was trying my best not to miss Victor, but it was getting kind of hard.
He’d been weirdly good at reassuring me when I started fretting about whether I’d ever get Love Origins to where I wanted it in time for the presentation. Also, he’d brought me tea and snacks whenever I had to stay up late to get some class assignment or my part in a group project done on time.
And you know what feels really great when you’re bleary-eyed at two in the morning and seriously questioning your decision to become an animator in the first place? Tea and snacks.
But we were just pretending to be a real couple. I reminded myself that for the umpteenth time since he ditched my ass at the front gate. Me depending on him for emotional support was not how our relationship worked. And we could pretend all we wanted to. But when things got real, he disappeared. I needed to remember that. At least until May 26th.
My secret phone rang in my tote just as I was wondering if it was too early to put out the Costco trays of veggies and fruit to go along with the pizzas I had ordered.
See? Another good reason I should be glad Victor wasn’t here. He was the last person I wanted to know about my secret phone. And if someone had called while he was here, I would’ve had some explaining to do.
I pulled out the phone and frowned when I saw the name on the caller ID. Not Byron or mom, but someone who had never actually called me directly before, even when he wasn’t working.
“Dad, is everything okay?” I asked as soon as I picked up.
“Everything’s more than okay, sweet pea,” he answered with a wry laugh. “I’m calling with some good news. Your mom and I are moving to Virginia—near the D.C. area. I decided to transfer to a desk job at the DEA.”
I blinked, a little stunned. Not just because dad had essentially said that he was moving back to the East Coast. But also because I hadn’t actually known which international anti-crime organization he worked for. Apparently, it was the Drug Enforcement Administration. That explained a lot.
“That’s great news,” I said, recovering. “When will you guys be moving?”
“Actually. That was what I was calling to talk with you about. I’m moving us East next month, and I was hoping maybe you could come down.”
“I would… love that,” I answered, genuinely shocked at the invitation. “I’ll come for a visit after my thesis presentation. And maybe in June, you and mom can come up for my graduation from RhIDS.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Dad said with another wry chuckle. “You made up for a lot when you came down to sit with Doll before her surgery. Maybe she can swallow her pride now and watch you graduate from that art school. Good strategy.”
“Dad, that’s not why I came down.” Irritation made me grip the phone a little tighter. “You left her all alone in Texas. I was genuinely worried about her.”
“I know, I know, sweet pea. And believe me, I’m grateful. That surgery went off without a hitch. But I wouldn’t have ever forgiven myself if anything had gone wrong.” He cleared his throat. “I love your mama with all my heart. You too. You know that’s why I’m moving us back East, right? To help her and be closer to you.”
I lowered my chin, a little weirded out by my father’s emotional statement. We had never been the kind of family that said I love you all the time. It was always just assumed. “Dad, I love you too. But is everything all right?”
“Everything’s better than all right,” he assured me again. “Actually, I was hoping maybe you could come down a little earlier than June. Thing is, the Attorney General’s giving me a lifetime achievement award at this year’s International Law Enforcement Gala. It’s a little embarrassing. I keep on telling them I’m not all the way through my lifetime yet. I’m not even retiring for real. But they say I deserve it, so I guess I have to get all gussied up and go on ahead and accept this award for my service.”
I laugh at his self-deprecation. “Dad, that’s great! Wow! I’m so proud of you!”
“The thing is, your mama has some stuff she has to take care of in Texas. So she won’t be able to join me until June herself. But the ceremony’s in late May. Your brother is coming down for it, and I thought maybe you could too. You free on May 25th?”
I winced. “I’m so sorry, dad. That’s my big thesis showcase. If it were any day, but that day, I’d totally be there. I wouldn’t miss you getting this award for anything. But if I don’t present my thesis, then I won’t be able to graduate with my MFA.”
“You can’t get out of it? Maybe switch dates with somebody else?” My dad sounded legit disappointed.
“No, I can’t. Jacoby Pirelli, the head of the program, said absolutely no switches allowed.”
“Even if your dad is receiving a once-in-a-lifetime award?”
Guilt crashed over me in waves because I couldn’t even tell my dad the worst part. I’d used family as an excuse to get out of so many May 25th events. Jacoby wouldn’t even believe me if I tried to tell him that my former undercover agent dad was receiving a huge award. I was basically the grad student who called wolf.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” I said again, truly meaning it. “Jacoby’s a total hard-ass. He told us at the beginning of the year that there was no getting out of our presentation date, no matter what.”
Dad audibly sighed. “Well, I guess Byron’s better than no family at all.”
The mention of Byron made a new suspicion fire off in my head. Byron had been so worried about Dad discovering he was bi in Japan. But when Dad found out years later, he’d taken it unbelievably well. I’d assumed when Byron told me that we’d both underestimated him.
But now, I had to wonder if maybe his easy acceptance had come with time. Like, way more time than we’d initially thought.
The question needled at me. To the point that I had to risk our newfound peace to ask, “Dad? When Byron and I were in high school, did you…”
I trailed off when the doorbell rang. “I have to go. I’m hosting this grad school thing, and the pizzas just got here.”
“All right, if you change your mind about the ceremony, let me know,” Dad said.
“I will,” I promised, even though there was no way of that ever happening.
The doorbell buzzed again as I dropped my phone back in my tote bag.
Wow, the pizza delivery guy was kind of impatient. I rushed to answer the bell, a little surprised that the guy got all the way to the front door. Usually, Wayne intercepted all deliveries and dropped them outside the kitchen with a sharp rap on one of the windows.
But it wasn’t the pizza delivery guy at the front door; it was someone I recognized. Someone I hadn’t seen in a really long time. And he had a small army of guys behind him.
“Phantom?” I asked, barely able to believe my eyes. But it was definitely him. He hadn’t changed much in the ten years since I last saw him. If anything, he looked way more intimidating than I remembered. He wore a black suit and red open collar shirt, with even more tattoos peeking out.
“Coming through,” he said without any greeting whatsoever.
That was all the warning I got before I had to scramble to get out of the way as he barged right on into the house.
“Clap-clap, assholes,” he called over his shoulder to the guys that were with him. “We don’t have all day.”
“What’s this all about?” I asked Phantom as men filed through the door with platters of food, silver serving ware, and tons of party decorations, including balloons.
“A gift, courtesy of Victor, for your soft presentation or whatever,” Phantom answered. What would’ve sounded like good news from anyone else came out a grumble in his rough tone.
I jolted. “Seriously? Victor arranged all of this?”
“Yeah,” Phantom answered with an annoyed shake of his head. “Who else do you think cares anything about your school shit?”
I wouldn’t have put Victor on that super short list of people either. Not in a million years.
My eyes widened as I watched a bunch of set-up guys went to work. By the time they were done, the living room looked like a Pinterest board entitled, Best Showcase Grad Party Ever.
Phantom handed me a small white envelope after they left. “Victor told me to give this to you.”
I pulled the note out and read, If you think this is nice, wait until our date after your real thesis presentation.
I’d spent the last twenty-four hours trying to harden my heart against the man who dropped me off without a word and disappeared. But it melted the moment I read that note.
“I can’t believe he did all of this for me.”
“Yeah, you and me both,” Phantom grumbled. “He’s done a lot of things for you that I can’t believe.”
Phantom scowled down at me as he said this. But I couldn’t tell if it was his usual “I don’t like you” glower or in reference to something specific. Like, having to oversee the set-up for my Group B presentation party.
Either way, I asked, “May I borrow your phone? I want to thank Victor for doing all of this.”
“You don’t have to thank him,” Phantom answered, his scowl deepening.
“But I want to, and I’m not going to stop pestering you until you let me do it,” I let him know with a bright smile.
Phantom folded his arms and glared at me in a way that made him look even meaner and more dangerous than usual.
But I stood my ground, folding my arms right on back at him. To be truthful, I wasn’t quite sure how much power I had to make demands here. Phantom could just walk away.
But in the end, he pulled out his phone and typed a quick message. “There I sent it. See you later.”
“No, no, no, I’ll wait until he answers,” I replied, rushing to get in front of him before he could leave.
“He’s a very busy guy. It might take him a while to—”
I knew Victor had sent back a message when the phone in Phantom’s hand lit up, and he cut off with another scowl.
Phantom rolled his eyes after glancing at the text. “This shit is ridiculous. I’m not reading it out loud.”
To my surprise, Phantom handed over his phone. And there I found the “ridiculous” message from Victor: Tell her she’s worth it.
Okay, did I say I was all the way over Victor?
I guess I was wrong about that. Nearly a whole day of anti-Victor reframing dissipated into the ether as I floated back into my now Pinterest-worthy living room.
And that only left the truth, glaring and bright.
Despite the last ten years…despite my get-out-of-prison date being so close….I was falling for him. Again.