CONTENTS

1. Title Page
2. Copyright Notice
3. Dedication
4. What is the Internet?
5. Don’t Forget to Get Married
6. Ewan Mcgregor Does His Best
7. The Ship
8. A Play Has No Past Tense
9. The Boys Who Love Priscilla
10. Enter Mother
11. Less Good than Others at Hiding
12. Here Today, Bird Tomorrow
13. The Groom, of Course!
14. The Bride Does Not like Almond
15. What Else Are We Here For?
16. The Uncanny Bride
17. A Lot of People Live in Santa Cruz
18. Parakeet
19. I Once Saw a Woman Mail Her Shoes
20. A Wedding Is an Internet Where Everyone Searches for Themselves
21. What We Love, We Mention
22. Diner at the End of the World
23. Lead Us Not onto Long Island
24. Sara Something
25. Ghosts from an Old Failed Wedding
26. Ding
27. In Tragedy We Excel
28. Simone Looks at the Lake
29. A Room After a Room
30. Do Not Shelve Items in Aisle Three Without Asking Joanna
31. I’ve Been Married Hundreds of Times
32. Acknowledgments
33. Also by Marie-Helene Bertino
34. A Note About the Author
35. Copyright