Some days were just so very long. And today was one of those. Gemma pushed up the blue light glasses she wore to help save her eyes from all the time spent staring at a computer screen. She yawned and shoved back her office chair as she turned to get to her feet.
As she walked around her desk she looked down at the empty dog bed. It had been two months since Buster had gotten sick and died, and while Gemma hated being without an animal, she wasn’t ready to find another dog yet.
She walked into the kitchen and poured herself another cup of tea. Once she added some milk, she wrapped her hands around the mug and turned to lean on the cabinets.
The rented cottage was nice. She liked the layout, but she especially loved that she had a place to work. Usually the furnished places she found had no such space. She would either work at the kitchen table or on the couch. And she discovered she quite liked having a desk.
She brought nothing more than the few suitcases and a dog bed wherever she went. It made moving every few months easy. After so many years, Gemma really thought she would have found a place where she felt she belonged. That had yet to happen.
And she feared it never would.
There was a ding from the computer, letting her know that an email had arrived. She set her mug on the desk and opened up the email to see that more work had come through.
She preferred being on her own, which had been difficult when she needed to work. It had been by happenstance one night over a decade ago when she’d stumbled upon the advertisement. Part of her thought it might be some kind of ruse, but it turned out to not only be a real job, but it paid well.
Who knew that so many people would need online researchers? Some of her jobs were interesting, and some not so much. But it was a job that kept money in her bank account. After working for a company for a few years, she had gone out on her own. She advertised for herself and set her own prices, which meant she got to keep all the proceeds.
It wasn’t exactly easy having her own business, but the challenge of it was something that she liked. Her regulars had kept her from starving until she was able to get a broader reach and bring in other clients.
Gemma read over the new job offer. She then looked at her calendar to see if she could get it done in the time allotted. The money offered was nearly twice what she asked for, but that was because the person wanted it quickly.
She added the job into her calendar, making sure to mark the due date in red, then she sent a reply stating that she would take the job once half the sum was paid up front, with the rest due when she completed the assignment.
Her attention returned to her current project, but not five minutes later her mobile phone lit up to let her know that money had been deposited into her account. To her shock, Gemma saw the entire amount, not the half that was due, had been sent.
“Well. Let’s hope you become a regular, whoever you are,” she said with a smile.
That was incentive enough to finish the job she was on so she could get to this new client’s project. She worked for another couple of hours before she stopped to grab a quick bite to eat.
The groceries were running low. That meant she would have to get out later. The thing about living in a smaller village was that they didn’t have delivery. It wasn’t that she hated people. It was just that she did better on her own.
Being around so many, others running into her, the noise and smell...it was just too much. A few people she could manage, but big places made her feel as if the world were crashing down upon her.
It was why she tended to pick small villages to live in, yet she missed some of the amenities that a city gave her. Like grocery delivery.
Ah, well. Sacrifices had to be made.
She removed her glasses and set them on the desk as she rose to rinse out her empty teacup. Then she retrieved the leftovers from the night before and took them to the sofa. She got comfortable and clicked on the tele.
As usual it was a commercial. But what had her snapping up her head was when she saw that it was for a vacation to the Isle of Skye. It wasn’t so much the location that caught her attention, but the fact it was an isle. She’d been thinking of her past a lot lately.
Everywhere she looked, there was mention of an isle. She’d even found a place for sale not long ago that was an unoccupied isle with a home and a few other buildings on it. It reminded her of where she had grown up.
Of where she had lost everything.
Gemma turned off the television and set aside her food since she was no longer hungry. She had to take her mind off the past before it swallowed her whole. She returned to her desk, put back on her glasses, and dove into work.
She didn’t stop again until she became nauseated she was so hungry. That’s when she knew she needed to eat. Though there was nothing in the house. She looked down at her yoga pants and shirt and sighed. If she was getting out, she had to make a little effort.
After she changed into jeans and a shirt, she walked past the bathroom and glimpsed her hair.
“Yikes,” she murmured when she caught sight of the tangled mess.
Gemma brushed it out, but there was no helping it. With a loud sigh, she threw it up into a ponytail and turned away before she could look closer at herself.
She was out the door and walking to her car when she stepped on a pinecone. That’s when she realized she had forgotten shoes. Again.
With a roll of her eyes, she turned and made her way back inside to put on shoes, only to retrace her steps once more. She could find the tiniest detail for her clients, but she couldn’t remember to put on shoes.
There was no need when she never left the house. At least that’s what she told herself.
She headed toward the market, but the growling of her stomach let her know that she wouldn’t survive seeing all that food while waiting to eat. With no other choice, Gemma realized she was going to have to stop and eat somewhere first. There were a few places, but her favorite was The Fox and The Hound. The pub was always busy. The few times she had eaten there instead of picking up an order she found a stool at the bar away from others, and somehow, she was left alone.
The thought of hot, fresh food and a drink was too good to pass up. She swung her car around and made her way to the pub. Thankfully, the parking lot wasn’t that full. Now she just had to hope that the pub wasn’t either since so many walked there.
She went inside and saw the stool she favored was empty. Gemma made a beeline for it. It was set to the side of the bar almost in a corner. Anyone who sat there could be overlooked, and that was exactly what she wanted.
No sooner had her butt touched down on the stool than the owner, Laith, came over. He was nice, kind even. His gunmetal eyes caught every little thing that happened in the pub, and one look from him could quell the largest of men.
Laith’s long dark blond hair was left loose today as he shot her a smile. “Is it a to-go order?”
“Not today,” she told him.
His brows shot up as he smiled. “What can I get you?”
She looked over the menu and picked her food. Laith walked off before she could tell him she wanted an ale, but he returned with a pint a few minutes later.
“On the house,” he told her.
Gemma was always wary of anyone who gave something away for free. “Thank you.”
“You look like you could use it,” he said before walking away.
She sure could. Maybe she needed to stop thinking the worst about people. But then again, that’s all she’d ever known. And that could be her problem.
Her gaze looked around the pub. It wasn’t packed, but there were a good number of people. A few sat on their own reading a book, doing a crossword puzzle, or just staring off into space. There were several dogs sitting quietly next to their masters’ feet.
She missed Buster. Ever since her first dog, Daisy, she had never gone long without having a canine companion. Somehow she didn’t feel so alone when she had a pet. Dogs loved unconditionally. They didn’t care how bad she looked or if she wore the same clothes two days in a row. All a dog wanted was love and attention.
That she had in spades.
She looked longingly at the animals. Every part of her wanted to go and pet them, but that meant she would have to interact with people. Animals were so much nicer than humans.
Gemma’s eyes slid away from the dogs and collided with those of an old woman sitting alone. Her gnarled fingers had difficulty lifting her glass, but she didn’t ask for help. No one spoke to her, and she didn’t speak to anyone. The old woman didn’t hold Gemma’s gaze for long either.
It was like Gemma was seeing what her future held. She was going to be that old woman sitting alone at a pub ignoring and being ignored. And she would die alone, not found until someone noticed the smell.
Bloody hell. That was a sad thought.
Maybe she should find some friends. At least one other person who might check on her so she didn’t decompose in her house to be found weeks after she died.
Gemma shuddered. But she wasn’t like others. She enjoyed her own company. She didn’t have to be around anyone in order to feel content. She didn’t need to fill her days with one engagement after the other, always surrounded by people.
All she needed was a dog and a great cup of tea.
Just like all those years ago with Daisy before she’d been found.
Those three weeks on her own had been frightening. It made her grow up a lot faster than she otherwise would have. Every night she feared whatever she’d seen would return, but it hadn’t.
But to this day, she worried that it might find her again.
It was one of the reasons she’d changed her surname. That and because her name had been plastered everywhere for months. The couple who fostered her and the kids staying with them all looked at her with pity. Every kid in her school asked her if she’d killed her family and tossed their bodies into the sea to be eaten by the fish.
Everyone knew her story.
Or they thought they did. They only knew what the papers had speculated and printed.
The only one who really knew what happened was her.
And she was never going to tell anyone.
Gemma jerked when the food was set in front of her. Laith frowned slightly when she briefly met his gaze, but she threw him a forced smile to show she was fine.
But she wasn’t fine. She hadn’t been in so, so many years.
She was likely never to be fine again.
Gemma drank several long swallows of ale and fought the emotion that rose up to choke her when she thought of her parents and brother. When she dared—and it was only once a year, normally around Christmas—she would think about what her life might have been like had that night not happened.
Or if she hadn’t chased after Daisy.
Maybe she would be with her family now. Wherever they might be. But at least she wouldn’t be alone.
Gemma lost her appetite again, but she forced herself to eat. One bite after the other until the plate was clean. She waited until Laith had his back turned, then she put the money on the bar and quietly slid off the stool. She was out the door and in her car in a flash.