Raven could still see the excitement on Porsha’s face, and it made her sick. This morning, they’d all attended their usual weekly staff meeting, and Porsha hadn’t hesitated to share how successfully her first ministry meeting had gone. She’d talked about the number of women who’d shown up and how they were already looking forward to next month. Raven hadn’t smiled, asked any questions, or commented, and all Porsha’s great news had done was make Raven want to kick her out of NVCC even faster. And thanks to John, she would be able to confront Porsha tomorrow.
This one thought alone tickled Raven with joy, because everything was finally going to be hers. Keeping the money that John had transferred to her this afternoon was major in itself, but now Porsha’s fifty-thousand-dollar-per-month cut would be hers as well—which meant that for the first time in Raven’s life, she would know what it felt like to earn seven figures. Her annual income would rise to $1.2 million, and with as popular as she was becoming, she would soon earn far more than that.
Raven had been very smart about the way she’d run the ministry, and all her hard work was paying off. This also meant that she could now resume her romance with Kane. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, but in a matter of days Kane would give in. He would come back to her the way he always had.
Raven curled up on her sofa and dialed his number.
“Hello?” he answered.
“Hi. How are you?”
“Okay, I guess.”
Raven waited for him to say more, but he didn’t.
“So I’m sure you’re a little surprised to hear from me,” she said.
“Actually, I am.”
“Have you missed me?”
“Not really.”
“Not even a little?”
“Raven, what is it you want?”
She tried to think of something better to say, but she couldn’t. “You’re still upset, aren’t you?”
“Why are you asking me stupid questions?”
“I’m just trying to talk to you. Trying to call a truce.”
“Why? You have time for me now? You want sex? What?”
“That’s not fair, and you know it. I was wrong. I admit that, but I’m also sorry about what happened. I never should’ve acted the way I did.”
“But you do this all the time. If you don’t get your way or I disagree with something you’re doing, you go off. Or like this time, you break up with me.”
“I know, and again, I’m sorry. Sometimes I don’t think rationally, and I lose it. Running a church is hard enough, but running an entire ministry is very stressful. You know that, Kane. You’ve always known it.”
“Yeah, but ministry or not, I’m not going to let you treat me any way you want. I’m also never going to be your yes man. I won’t stand idly by, watching you do awful things to people.”
Raven wished he would get off his soapbox and just get over it. “I’m not asking you to do that. I’m just trying to explain why I do some of the things I do.”
“Well, that’s not good enough anymore. I need something different in a woman.”
Raven wondered how long it was going to take for him to get beyond this. “Are you saying you want someone else?”
“Right now, I just want to be left alone.”
“Why are you so bitter? I made a mistake, Kane. That’s all.”
“You’re always making mistakes, and then you expect me to forgive you and be happy. Well, I’ve told you before how I’m getting tired of that. And I meant it.”
“Baby, you’re scaring me,” she told him, realizing now that it was time she said whatever he needed to hear. “Please don’t tell me that in just two weeks, you’ve fallen out of love with me. That you’ve decided you’re done with me for good. Please tell me that’s not true.”
“I’ve just had enough. I don’t like this roller coaster ride we’re on, and I want off.”
“What can I do to change your mind?”
“Go on with your life. Find someone who you really love and care about. Continue to do you.”
Raven knew he was purposely reminding her of what she’d said to him the last time she saw him. That she was always going to do her. And she’d be lying if she said that anyone would ever be more important than she was to herself. But she also didn’t want to lose Kane. She loved him—as much as she could love another person—and she wanted them to work things out.
“But what if I don’t want that?” she said. “What if I don’t want to find someone else? What if I only want you?”
“Then you’ll just have to get over it.”
At first Raven had thought he would eventually soften up, but he was sounding as though their breakup was permanent.
“I’ll do anything,” she pleaded. “Anything at all.”
Kane laughed, but she could tell he was being cynical. “Your dramatics aren’t going to cut it this time. I’m really done with you, Raven.”
Gosh, he wasn’t budging, and this was so unlike him. Maybe they’d broken up and gotten back together more times than she’d realized, and Kane was at his limit. “What if I worked really hard to prove to you how much I love you? What if I show you that I can really change for the better?”
“Look, I just got home from work about an hour ago, and I haven’t eaten. So we’ll have to do this another time.”
Raven swung her feet to the floor. “Baby, please. I really mean it. I’ll do whatever you want.”
“You know what? I believe you, because you’ve done it before. But you can’t keep it up. You do things, I forgive you, you become the most loving woman in the world, and then you go back to being the same old selfish Raven. You do that because, sweetheart, it’s just who you are.”
“But I can change. What if we get counseling and then get married?”
Kane laughed again. “You’re really reaching this time, aren’t you?”
“No, I’m serious. I mean, this all started because you wanted me to tell everyone that Pastor Black didn’t rape me. And I did, Kane. I did what you wanted.”
“Yeah, but only when you got good and ready. I also wonder why you suddenly came down with a huge case of niceness.”
“So you don’t think my message was sincere? You think I did this because I had to?”
“I don’t know anything. Who’s to say?”
Raven shook her head and burst into tears. She didn’t want to cry right now, but she couldn’t stop herself. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I deserve better.”
“And I can give you that. I didn’t realize things were this bad, but I promise you I can fix them.”
“I have to go.”
“Well…can I at least call you later?”
“If you want, but I probably won’t answer. I have an early day tomorrow.”
“Kane, it’s only ten after six.”
“And?”
“Okay, fine. I’ll call you, and if you answer you answer. But I’m not giving up.”
“That’s up to you. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Good-bye, baby,” she said, and set her phone on the large square leather ottoman in front of her.
This call with Kane hadn’t gone nearly the way she’d hoped. Sure, she’d expected some resistance, but not a full refusal to reconcile. He’d been angry and disappointed with her before, but never like this. He sounded so burned out from all that had transpired in their relationship. Raven knew things hadn’t been perfect, but for the first time, she realized how miserable she’d made Kane. He’d loved her and treated her better than any woman could hope for, but she’d never fully appreciated it. Now she was on the verge of losing him for good. Or at least that’s what it seemed like, because Raven would never let that happen. She wasn’t a quitter, and she would keep at him until he took her back. She would love him the way he wanted her to, and she would finally marry him. All she had to do was finalize things with Porsha, hire a few new staff members, and focus on Kane. Then all would be well and Kane would be happy. She would be happy, too.
Raven went upstairs and washed her face and then toned and moisturized it. But for some reason, she thought about John and wanted to double check with him about that transfer. So she dialed his number.
“Hey, baby,” he said.
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“Just missing you. Wishing you were here or that I was over there.”
“I know, but I’m really tired and I need to prepare my mind for tomorrow.”
“Well, everything is all set.”
“You really stepped up for me, John, and I’ll never forget it. You went completely out on a limb to help me, and I’m truly grateful.”
“I would do it again if it meant preserving the ministry.”
“You’re a sweetheart.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said, laughing. “But how do you plan on handling this? Are you going to call Porsha at home tomorrow evening or meet with her before then at the church?”
“I’m doing it face-to-face. That way I can explain my separation offer, and she’ll know I’m serious.”
“I hope she agrees to it, signs everything, and leaves without drama.”
“Don’t worry. She will. Because having that video floating around for everyone to see would ruin her,” Raven said, but then a thought surfaced, one that gave her a bit of pause. If for some reason Porsha did pass on her offer, Raven would have to think twice about actually releasing that video to the media because Dillon also starred in the performance. And if she crossed Dillon again, he would rush to get new revenge.
But truthfully, she wasn’t worried about that happening, because Porsha would sign the agreement and give Raven the three hundred thousand dollars she was demanding. She would bring her a cashier’s check, and that would be it. End of story. End of everything.