‘What the hell are you thinking? Do you want to get me fired?’
Kassie stared at her mother, angry but also a little ashamed.
‘I had to leave work early. That’s the third time in two weeks. My boss won’t stand for it.’
‘I know, Mama. And I’m sorry –’
‘What happens if I lose my job?’ Natalia continued, ignoring her daughter’s apology. ‘What then? Will you put food on the table? Pay the bills? Buy new clothes?’
‘What new clothes?’
Natalia’s hand shot out, connecting sharply with Kassie’s left cheek.
‘Don’t talk back to me. If it wasn’t for me, you’d be out on the streets.’
Kassie raised her hand to her cheek, regretting her sarcasm. She hated her mother when she was like this, but it was true – she had good cause to be angry. Kassie had been too distressed to return to school after her visit to her grandmother and, following a call from the school secretary, Natalia had eventually found her daughter at home, the scent of skunk still fresh on her breath.
‘You’re lucky you still have a place at school. I had to beg Principal Harrison to give you one last chance, said I would talk to you about your behaviour. But he’s a proud man, a smart man, he won’t be taken advantage of.’
‘I know, I’ll apologize to him in the morning –’
‘And your teacher. And the other students. For all the trouble you’ve caused.’
‘Ok, ok …’
‘It’s a good school. You’re lucky to be there, kochanie … Why can’t you just settle down? Study? You’re not a stupid girl, you could make something of yourself.’
Her tone had softened now – regret and sadness undercutting her anger – which made Kassie feel even worse.
‘I’ll try …’
Her mother’s expression told Kassie what she thought of that.
‘I mean, I will …’
‘Where were you anyway?’
Kassie paused, unsure what to say.
‘Well?’
‘I went to see Grandma.’
‘All morning?’ Natalia replied, scarcely containing her scepticism. ‘The old woman can’t string two words together.’
Kassie wasn’t sure what to say. Was it better to lie or tell the truth? Her mother was staring intently at her, scenting – expecting? – deception, so eventually Kassie mumbled:
‘No, before that I went to West Town. I wanted to see that man …’
‘Who?’ Natalia demanded.
Kassie took a deep breath, then continued:
‘The man I bumped into on North Michigan Avenue.’
Her mother’s face drained of colour and she turned away from Kassie, shaking her head.
‘Mama …’
‘Why would you do such a thing?’ Natalia demanded, turning to face her daughter once more, disbelief written all over her face.
Natalia’s hand shot out again, catching Kassie by surprise. The young girl stumbled slightly, tears pricking her eyes, but her mother looked unrepentant.
‘Enough, Kassie. I’ve warned you about this.’
‘I can’t help it.’
‘Of course you can.’
Natalia grabbed her by the wrist, dragging her in close.
‘You do it because you want to.’ She was in her daughter’s face now, whispering savagely. ‘Because you want to hurt me, to torture me.’
‘No, no, I don’t want this to happen, it just does.’
‘You dream it up, just like your grandmother.’
‘It’s what I am –’
‘No, it’s what you choose to be,’ Natalia spat back, her voice loud and harsh. ‘And I will not stand it any longer.’
‘None of this is my fault, Mama –’
‘Oh, it’s all your fault, Kassandra. You have always been a deceitful, attention-seeking child, but it stops now. I will not be humiliated like this any longer, not after all I’ve done for you.’
Natalia was glaring at her daughter, her eyes blazing.
‘So, get this into your thick head. No more cutting class, no more drugs …’ She pulled Kassie in close, as she concluded: ‘… and no more lies.’